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Dedicated August 2019

Premarital Counseling (catholic wedding)

Elizabeth, on February 27, 2018 at 11:02 AM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 5

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Hi all!

I just got engaged a little over a week ago (yay!) and we've already begun looking at venues for the reception as well as churches for the ceremony which we hope to have next August.

My fiancé and I were both raised Catholic but neither of us can claim to be practicing Catholics. However, a Catholic wedding has kind of always been the only option in my family and it's the only way I ever imagined getting married. My fiancé is a little less adamant about the wedding NEEDING to be Catholic, but he knows that's what I want so he agreed that's the way we'll go.

I know in order to get married in the church we'll have meet with a priest and go through "counseling", etc. I live in Lancaster PA and all of the churches I've looked at seem to require we meet with a priest 9 months to a year before our wedding. I'm looking for any information/insights on what we can expect during these meetings. How many times will we have to meet with the priest? What kind of questions should we expect him to ask? We live together - will he ask about that? Will it be a problem? Will he ask more personal questions about premarital sex and contraceptives? Will we have to take any kind of "tests"? Should I be nervous/stressed about this? Any info you guys can give me would be extremely helpful!

Thanks so much!

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Latest activity by Sarah, on February 27, 2018 at 12:54 PM

Master June 2016
Sarah · on February 27, 2018 at 11:05 AM
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This is honestly going to vary by priest so if you have a specific church in mind, I’d give them a call and see if uou can speak to someone about their requirements. He will most likely discuss you living together (some priests won’t marry couples if this is the case), and family planning talks will likely happen too.
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Expert May 2019
FutureMrs.S · on February 27, 2018 at 11:51 AM
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I am not sure on the specifics that would be asked (my FH and I are going through Lutheran based counseling) but typically pastors/priests/ministers will talk about compatibility within the relationship. The living together part may be an issue as there are rules to follow about that. If you are able to, having separate bedrooms would be a possible compromise for some clergy members. Congrats and happy planning!!
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Devoted May 2018
Sarah · on February 27, 2018 at 12:20 PM
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You're in luck! I work for the Diocese of Harrisburg as a Parish Manager for one of the churches. AND I just did my marriage prep. What churches are you looking at?

You'll have 2 options for marriage prep. 1. You will be paired up with a married couple and you'll meet with them anywhere between 3-10 times. They'll help you to communicate, learn about marriage, things to expect, how to deal with problems, etc. You will also have to attend a 1 day retreat at the Diocese about Natural Family Planning. You HAVE to do this. Option 2. You can do the Engaged Encounter. This is a Friday evening thru Sunday retreat at a local hotel(Mechanicsburg, usually) and you'll do everything all in that weekend.
You'll meet with the priest a few times..Once to start the paperwork, he'll ask you lots of questions. None are really invasive and priests these days have really heard it all anyway. He'll want to know why you want a Catholic wedding when you're not a practicing Catholic though. If you're not practicing, then whats the point? And then you'll get together again closer to the date to finalize readings and such.
Also, if you do not have a Parish, be prepared to pay more to have your wedding at a church. Most churches charge more for non-parishioners.
Any questions, just ask. I'm happy to help.
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Dedicated August 2019
Elizabeth · on February 27, 2018 at 12:36 PM
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Wow! What luck!

So far we're looking at St. Mary's and St. Joseph's, both in Lancaster. I contacted both parishes and am just waiting to hear back. Do you know of other churches in Lancaster county that will marry non-parishioners?

I should clarify. I still absolutely consider myself Catholic, we just don't attend church regularly. I moved up here a couple of years ago from NC and then my fiancé and I just moved from Berks county 2 months ago, so we haven't registered at any churches yet.

Do you think we should wait to book a venue for the reception until after I find a priest/church that will work with us and confirm the date we want?

Thanks so much for all of the info so far!
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Devoted May 2018
Sarah · on February 27, 2018 at 12:54 PM
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Most of the churches will marry non-parishioners..they just will charge you a different fee.
The Catholic Churches(other than the 2 you contacted) in Lancaster are:
St John Neumann
St Anne
Sacred Heart
Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary
St Peter's is in E-town which isn't too far.
Where in Lancaster do you live? What you should do is join the Parish that is closest to your home. If you become a member, then you won't be charged the higher fee. Just call them, explain that you recently moved to the area and would like to join.
And yes, please wait to book your venue. Booking your church should be the first thing.
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Premarital Counseling (catholic wedding)

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