Pregnant Bridesmaid

Yes all of that is definitely rude. Asking her to sit out because she's pregnant is just awful. Plus, having your fiance's niece as a "backup" would be offensive to his niece too. I'm sure the original bridesmaid could get the dress tailored to fit her even if shes pregnant!

View Quoted Comment Agreed ^^^ you cannot expect people to put their lives on hold for your wedding.

Yeah, this is all-around rude. Having even sides is not an important thing, but your friendships are. Additionally, you shouldn't be asking bridesmaids to help you, period. They might offer, which is great, but it's yours and your FH's wedding to plan. Asking your niece at the last minute as a "replacement" would also be a slap in the face to your pregnant friend and your niece.

I'd want my pregnant friend standing up with me no matter what dress she had on (as long as she was comfortable enough to do so). Please don't put aesthetics before actual human relationships.

I agree with the others. I think it would be very rude to not to allow your pregnant friend to be in the ceremony.


Check with the store where you purchased the bridesmaid dresses and see if you are able to order an extra yard of fabric and lining to match her dress. A good seamstress will be able to add panels into the seams so that the dress can fit her bump. I am doing this with two of my bridesmaids, but I never thought to not have them in the ceremony just because my postponed wedding means they will be further along in their pregnancies.

“Congratulations, you can’t be in my wedding.” Yeah, I agree with PP’s there’s no way to make what you’re saying okay.

Definitely rude. I would try to find a dress similar that she can wear. This person was obviously important enough that you asked her to be in your wedding and the fact that she is pregnant shouldn't make a difference.

My wedding was supposed to be last weekend so now that I am postponed one bridesmaid can't make it because of her due date (she lives across the country and will be too far along) and one bridesmaid will be further along in her pregnancy than we thought and will need a new dress.

I will definitely work to accommodate her and get her a new dress even if it's not quite the same one as the other dresses. You should definitely do the same and just get her a similar dress that will fit rather than eliminate her which would be terrible to do

I agree with PPs, this is completely rude. I would either try to see if a seamstress can alter the dress to fit her, or try to find the dress in a larger size on Poshmark or something.

Me of my bridesmaids is pregnant and not able to been in the wedding as her date is on my wedding day.
We talked it over! Of course no hard feelings and an exciting moment for her.
I would see if she would like to find another dress same color- and if she would like to continue to be a bridesmaid.Ask how she feels?!

One of my bridesmaids just told me that she was pregnant, was I a little thrown off and stressed out because she isn't going to have the exact dress that everyone else will have? A little. But I also know that I cannot expect them to put their life on hold just because my FH are getting married. I couldn't imagine asking her to step down as a bridesmaid just because she is pregnant. Imagine how you would feel if someone did that to you.

Oh gosh, I cannot imagine how hurt I would feel if I was told that I was no longer welcome as a bridesmaid because the dress no longer fit. You would seriously be risking damaging the relationship long-term. Bridesmaids should be the people you love the most, and who love you the most; I can't imagine why a pregnancy would change any of that! Put people first, not dresses or appearances. Surely there is another solution that will still make you both happy, even if that means she looks a little bit different than the rest of your party.

View Quoted Comment Agreed. Please do not take someone out because they are pregnant.. I think you could surely find a similar dress in the same color?

Her dress might not match exactly but you’d be surprised what similar dresses you might find online. And also, call the salon where they got them and tell them the situation.

View Quoted Comment I am not "kicking" her out because she is pregnant more so because i cannot figure out her attire, im exhausting all my options because of this virus. I live in an area that is in complete shut down and probably will be until atleast july so even getting a streamstress is going to be difficult in my area. I cant go to the store to find fabric or a similar dress. My dress is disconnected in that color so getting the fabric from the store or even reordering is not possible. Its also a very unique color/material. In any normal situation I would certainly do all i could to keep her in the wedding but the climate now is different. I just feel extra stressed because i am already dealing with having to replan the wedding because of the coronavirus and trying to make this work too is just adding to the stress. If i cant find a solution in this environment what else can I do.....

View Quoted Comment Have you talked to her about it? Wouldn’t hurt to just kinda see her thoughts and if she’s got any ideas. Where did you originally get the dresses from?

View Quoted Comment I got it from davids. When i checked with them to see if they could reorder the dress in another size it would not make it in time. My other thoughts is that she already paid for this dress i would also hate for her to have to purchase another dress or even pay potentially expensive alterations even if i can find some fabric....i havent talked to her yet
1. She just told me so i wanted to be excited for the news (which i am) and didnt want to make the initial converstation about me...2. I want to talk to her with a clear understanding of my options

I feel awful we are all in this position. No one could have guessed a world pandemic! I dont want to seem like im kicking her out soley because shes pregnant. I just dont know what to do...

View Quoted Comment What you do is put people before aesthetics.



Saying you aren't kicking her out because she's pregnant but because you cannot figure out her attire doesn't sound any better than saying you are kicking her out because she's pregnant. Both of those sentences boil down to "pictures matter more to me than having you stand at my side."

What you decide to do is your decision, but if a "friend" did this to me I would definitely not continue the friendship, and it looks like the majority of replies feel similarly. It's up to you if that's worth risking.

Bridesmaid dresses tend to be alterable. More than likely they can take the dress out some. If shes under 5 months she probably won't be showing too much. But you should definitely not remove her from your wedding.

First, make sure that at 7.5 months she will be able to travel, and her own worries about being in a large group that far along are not an issue for her. Then assuming in months plus alterations are possible, you may either order a couple of yards fabric to match. Look online for the same color dress, previously worn maternity, or one to use for spare material. Or get around the issue by choosing an obviously contrasting dress, as people often do for a MOH, pregnant bridesmaid, or when a gown is damaged. 7.5 months pregnant she will be a standout anyways. And there is no law that wedding parties all must dress alike, never has been. Sometimes, too, depending on the style, changing to a different size won't work due to changes in bust size, and raising of midriff. Strapless or v front, or backless styles often cannot be fit because they cannot be anchored right . A light print, similar shade, or multiple shades, may be a nice coordinate.
What you proposed, eliminating the BM over no matching dress, when the issue is over your postponement, is not at all within bounds of good manners.

View Quoted Comment So is it fair to ask her to purchase another dress after shes paid a good penny for the first one? Alterations to let that dress out how its designed will probably be more than the dress is even worth, if we can even find the fabric?