Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Super August 2021

Pregnancy question!! Help !!

Wendy, on June 14, 2019 at 6:47 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 25

Saved

Flag
Hide content

My FH and I always said we didnt want kids at all.. Last year I started feeling that maybe I do (maybe because a lot of my friends have been having kids). My FH never really expressed wanting any seriously.. Well for the past 2 months he’s been jokingly saying that We should get pregnant, or that “accidents” happen, hoping I don’t get my period and so on. Obviously he knows I have to consent and it’s not just going to happen lol. So 2 days ago he just told me that he’s serious and that he feels that we’re ready for a baby, that his body is telling him and so is mine (whatever that means lol). I told him we are not ready, I want to be married before having a kid, I’m waiting on a promotion at work so waiting on that as well, but being married is the biggest one.. Now, he’s all like we should move the date (date is set for 08.08.20) We already booked our stay at the resort in order to lock our date, changing it is doable we’d just have to pay a fee. Our parents have been asking for a grandkid for the past 6yrs lol, specially my mom since I’m the oldest... Some of my friends tell me I shouldn’t wait until I’m older due to complications and I don’t want to be too old raising a kid (I’m 30 and he’s 31). I’m thinking 2021 should be good to get pregnant (I’ll be 31/32).

What do you guys think?? For those that started parenting late, what’s your experience?? Was it hard getting pregnant? Would you recommend???

Thoughts/opinions..

thank you!!

Flag
Hide content

25 Comments

Latest activity by Ka-Rina, on June 17, 2019 at 10:43 PM

Expert October 2019
Nykole · on June 14, 2019 at 6:57 PM
Flag

Hide content
I will be 32 in December. We are getting married in October (this year) and we aren’t going to start trying for a baby until Fall of 2020. We want to be married for at least 9 months to a year before we start. I don’t think I will be too old. I think you’ll be fine to wait a little longer as well. Early 30s is still young.
- Reply
Expert October 2019
Nykole · on June 14, 2019 at 6:59 PM
Flag

Hide content
My FSIL got married in August of 2017 at the age of 36 and she got pregnant in December of 2017. She turned 37 while she was pregnant. She’s doing just fine and her baby is as well. She’s talking about trying for one more.
- Reply
Super August 2021
Wendy · on June 14, 2019 at 7:07 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
That’s exactly how I feel!!! I don’t want to be pregnant or have a baby on my wedding day!! And I want to enjoy the “married life” (we have been together for 11yrs) before having a kid, so I’m thinkkng a year after getting married as well..! Thank you!!
- Reply
Super August 2021
Wendy · on June 14, 2019 at 7:08 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Yeah most people think after 35 is harder to get pregnant 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️... so I don’t know lol..
- Reply
Champion October 2018
Kelly · on June 14, 2019 at 7:11 PM
Flag

Hide content
Early 30s you should be fine, after 35 is when fertility starts to decline.
- Reply
Master October 2020
Mandi · on June 14, 2019 at 7:16 PM
Flag

Hide content
I think the 35 thing is a lie. Its supposedly higher risk, but if you're healthy, it should be fine.
I have noticed a lot more people in their 30s having twins. But that could be a total coincidence.
We are very anti-children. So I'm not the best advisor on the topic, but wait until you want to. There is no "ready", but don't let your "biological clock" get to you.
I have friends who hurried to have children, and they regret it. Not their kids, but the rushing to have them thing.
- Reply
Expert October 2019
Nykole · on June 14, 2019 at 7:18 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Yeah, fertility decreases after 35 years of age, but it’s obviously still very much possible to conceive and carry a healthy baby to full term. Birth defects become more and more likely the older you get, but early 30s should be just fine. Best wishes to you! 💕♥️
- Reply
Expert October 2019
Nykole · on June 14, 2019 at 7:20 PM
Flag

Hide content
And it’s not like your body just magically flips a switch the day you turn 35! “OH! SHE’S 35! TIME TO SCREW WITH HER!” Lol 😄
- Reply
Devoted July 2019
Futuremrs · on June 14, 2019 at 7:22 PM
Flag

Hide content
Well after 35 IS harder. You are automatically "advanced maternal age" and considered high risk. However, that's not a reason to push something you're not positive about. I'm 41. That's part of the reason that we're having a shorter engagement (less than 7 months). But you'll be 31 when trying for a baby. You're still in the window of "safe." Being a parent is hard (my FH has an 8yo and her mother died several years ago, so he's a single father). You need to be ready. You're young enough that you don't need to rush. Since it's not something that you have been serious about before now, take the time and make sure. You can't give them back! 😂
- Reply
Super September 2019
Iva · on June 14, 2019 at 7:26 PM
Flag

Hide content
If I was you, I would definitely wait.
First, to get married (no need to be pregnant or in labor lol, at your wedding).
Second, since both of you didn’t want kids for a long time & recently changed your mind, waiting will solidify this decision (or change your mind back again). Having a child is a lifelong decision & should be taken seriously. What your parents want is 100% irrelevant. All parents want grandkids, but that’s never a good enough reason to have them.
At 30 you are definitely not too old! All my friends & family had their babies in their 30’s (some after 35, and 3 of them at age of 38-40). I literally don’t know anybody who had a baby before 30. If you’re otherwise healthy, fertility starts to decline after 35.
Lastly, having a baby in your early 30’s makes for better & more enjoyable parenting, compared to your 20’s (many studies have been done on this topic, you can google that).
- Reply
VIP October 2020
Kelly · on June 14, 2019 at 7:37 PM
Flag

Hide content
Because you already made plans I'd just stick to them, it's a year not forever. Moving up a date can make vendors cancel or change pricing it's not worth the extra expenses. Waiting also means you both can research different things for a baby, like childcare, schools, daycare, summer camp ect. You'll want to do some parenting classes, I always think first aid is great in general and kids are SO accident prone so all the parents I know really push learning baby and child first aid and CPR. It'd be a really great bonding experience for you both while you're waiting.
Every woman in my family for the last three generations had their first child at 31. As long as you are otherwise healthy it probably won't matter.
Also women are statistically so much less likely to get promoted and bonuses at work I would really urge you to wait until after getting married for the career impact alone.
- Reply
Super October 2019
Lizzy · on June 14, 2019 at 7:56 PM
Flag

Hide content
Soni actually saw my doctor this week and this is what she told me. I'm 30, about to be 31 in August. We are getting married in October and want to wait about a year before we try. She told me that at 32, fertility starts to drop 8% each year. She also told me to start taking prenatal vitamins and vitamin d now to prepare my body. And finally, on average it takes about 8 months to get pregnant and you are most fertile the month after you go off birth control
- Reply
Super July 2019
Rachel · on June 14, 2019 at 9:20 PM
Flag

Hide content
I would definitely listen to your gut and wait until you’re married at the very least because this is a recent thought you’ve had and it’s best to make sure it’s really something you want. Also don’t let other people sway your optimism, including your FH, it’s you that has to carry it and no one else. There’s also always adoption as an option if you’re not ready in the next however many years and then change your mind but aren’t comfortable going through a pregnancy.
- Reply
Super July 2019
Rachel · on June 14, 2019 at 9:21 PM
Flag

Hide content
Opinion not optimism
- Reply
Expert April 2021
JEANIE · on June 14, 2019 at 9:33 PM
Flag

Hide content
I think you should wait until you're married! My FH have been together for many many years and when we get married he'll be 33 and I'll be 32. However, we both know that we want to wait until we're both ready to have children no matter what anyone has to say. It's a great thing that you've both changed your mind, but I think there's no need to rush now. In due time you'll both be there! I wish you all the best!
- Reply
Devoted September 2019
Valentina · on June 14, 2019 at 9:48 PM
Flag

Hide content
If it was me I’d wait till I got married to start just cuz of the added stress of wedding planning and preparing for the little one. Early to mid thirties is a perfect time to have babies! My mom had her 9th at 41 yo. The only problem she had was extreme loss of appetite but she was a smoker😒👎during. I myself am open to children after we are married and I’m gonna be 36 in a week and have a 13 & 15 yo already from a previous relationship.
- Reply
Rockstar July 2018
Mcskipper · on June 14, 2019 at 10:28 PM
Flag

Hide content
This isn’t late!! Keep on your trajectory. Have kids when you’re ready. You have P L E N T Y of time. Modern medicine has changed the timeline. It also sounds like YOU want to wait, so please don’t get pressured into trying earlier just because he’s got the itch. Life circumstances are super important, so do what is best for you, when you’re ready— and this is fully in your control. You’re the one that has to do this, so do what’s best for you.

if you’re worried about waiting, speak to your ob/gyn for timeline advice.
- Reply
Master 0000
Judith · on June 14, 2019 at 10:31 PM
Flag

Hide content
I think it is good to have a year of marriage, or more, before starting a pregnancy, so you are a strong couple, who has already worked out newlywed issues, and had an enjoyable"just us" time you may not see again for many years. If moving up the wedding to a date a few months away helps the cause, what you are talking about is more important than party planning time. You may take 1-3 years to get pregnant with the first, and if you want space between them, a second, or third, could be 5-7 years off, not the 3.5 years of 2 pregnancies on the first month you try. If you feel ready to be married now, take a sooner wedding date. Weddings are fun, and mean a lot, but a wedding that is great can be planned in just a few months . I know from experience.🤗 Mother of 5 at 37.
- Reply
Master October 2019
Meghan · on June 14, 2019 at 10:42 PM
Flag

Hide content
You are not old and will not be too old to have a child at 31. People are having children into their 40’s with no complications. I personally think people having kids any younger than 30 are crazy. At least after 30 people are usually mature and well established (career, home, etc). Keep your wedding date that you have already began planning and paying for and start your family after. There is really no need to rush unless your OBGYN says otherwise.
- Reply

Devoted May 2021
Melissa · on June 14, 2019 at 10:48 PM
Flag

Hide content
I had my son at 34 and while I would have loved to have him earlier it worked out for the best. I did have a rough pregnancy and my sons first couple of years were tough but early 30’s aren’t too bad
- Reply

8 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Signing Up for Couples Counseling — Married Life 8 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Signing Up for Couples... Not sure whether couples counseling is right for you? Ask yourself these...

Wedding Songs & Music 15 Essential Questions to Ask a Wedding DJ or Band With a wide range of music and performance styles out there, the goal is to find...

Food & Beverage 20 Essential Questions to Ask a Wedding Caterer Searching for a wedding caterer in your area? Get the answers to these questions...

Post content has been hidden

Pregnancy question!! Help !!

25 Comments

Related articles