Pregnancy Planning

My best advice is to get used to hearing others opinions and letting them roll off your shoulder. I’m not a parent myself, but I know that pregnancy and having a little one are two things that are sure to bring on unwanted advice. It sounds like you’re already getting some of that. Make the best decision for you and your family. People do have your best interest at heart (most of the time,) but they aren’t the ones who have to wake up and live your life every day.

No one is ever ready to have their first child. You're married, have good jobs, and have gone through the honeymoon phase. People have had kids in MUCH worse situations and have been perfectly fine and happy. If you and your husband are ready to start trying, I say go for it! Everyone will have their opinions now, but by the time the baby is here, all you'll hear is "when are you planning to have #2?"

I would ignore what others are saying. This is a decision that only you two can make. My husband and I decided to try to have a baby right away. Of course, all of our friends and family thought we should wait at least a year, but we didn't listen to them as it wasn't their decision to make. One reason we started trying right away was because he didn't want to be an old dad. I'm currently pregnant and due in May. My husband is thirty. He had wanted to be done having children at age thirty, but that's not happening. Another reason was that my mom had uterine cancer in her early thirties so I am more likely to get cancer so I didn't want to hold off on having children. It took a year of trying for us to conceive. I found out after about 7 months of trying that I have PCOS so I was actually on amedicine to get pregnant when we conceived. Everyone's journey to having a baby is different, but don't let other people's opinions decide for you.

Just make sure you've lived out your life and this is something you genuinely want. I have several loved ones and so does FH who have kids and they don't appreciate them. My aunt who is FORTY leaves her kid (my 9 yo cousin) with our grandma from sunday to friday BY CHOICE. She's done this since the girl was 18 months. simply bc she doesnt want to be bothered by her. FH has a cousin who is married and he and his wife do something similar with their kid. Their kid is only at their house 2 days a week by their choice. 😪😪😪

I am currently trying for a baby at 25. My grandmother had all 6 of her children by my age. Tell people to go take a hike.


But seriously. Women's fertility doesnt last forever. And there is nothing I want more than a child. I don't care about travel or my career or free time or hanging out. I want a big loving family. There is nothing more "living life" to me than bringing one into the world.
I have friends who are significantly older, and they started later to enjoy their 20s. Many have gotten pregnant, but some are struggling to conceive. Some really wish they had been parents young because babies and toddlers take a ton of energy. There are cons to waiting too.
Everyone has a different path. Say "thanks for your opinion" and then do your own thing.

Honestly I see why people say that because once you have a kid it’s not like you’d really have much alone time for yourself anymore. But at the same time I totally see the appeal of having a kid younger too! Because you’d have so much more time with them! My dad was 54 when he had me and so he’s 82 now. Like he’s lucky he even was able to see me get married ya know and i don’t remember him ever playing with me when I was a kid. So there’s definitely cons of waiting longer too.

I would tell anyone your age to wait. Even if everything is great, that's fine let it be great for longer lol. Maybe you can save up more, get a bigger house, etc. But ultimately only you guys know when it's time. no matter what you guys decide I wish you the best

Don't listen to what others are telling you. Everyone has their own journey and everyone is at a different point in their life. I have friends who have been married for a few years with children, I have friends who are married with no children because they still have things they want to do, and I have friends who aren't married, either single or in a relationship just living it up. One of my friends who is 25 is having a baby while I'm 32 and don't have a child yet because I wanted to be married first. If you feel like it's right for you, do it! People are ALWAYS going to put in their two cents about what you should do without actually knowing the right answer for you.

It sounds like you’re about as prepared as you can be. I dont think age has that much to do with it, it’s more about how mature you are and how financially stable you are. If you check both those boxes, then go for it. No ones ever 100% ready

You should do what’s right for you and your husband. Everyone has an opinion and once you have a baby that will get even worse, but you have to be strong even to not listen to others at times and do what makes you happy!

I agree with all the folks that you need to make your own decision about it. It will never be "the perfect time" to have a baby. I wouldn't even mention to people that y'all are trying for a baby until you are actually pregnant so you don't have to hear their comments. You can go ahead and start taking pre natal vitamins to help boost fertility.


My FH and I are also 23 and 24, and have wanted babies while we are young since before we started dating. It's a personak choice that no one can make but yourself. BC has caused some hormonal issues for me, so I will be getting off BC and starting to try to get pregnant as soon as our wedding is done.
Sending you lots of good wishes as you start this journey! 💕

I promise you will (or should!) be a much different person at 30 than 20. Wait a few years.

People are gonna give their opinions regardless. You guys do what makes sense for you. However I do agree that you really do change even from 24 to 25, I was a totally different person. Just think really hard on it. You won't be able to do a lot of things you can do in your early 20s with a kid. The people around you should support you regardless. Only you and DH know what's right for you two.

This is 1,000% a judgement call for you and your husband! If you are in a place where you both feel comfortable to start trying, no one else’s opinion should matter. You’re going to get so many different opinions - I’m 25 and the thought of a baby right now gives me anxiety LOL. But that doesn’t mean that’s the case for you! You are young, but who’s to say how much time you and your husband have!? (Not to sound morbid). Do what y’all want and are prepared to do! Don’t even ask for/listen to anyone’s opinion on the matter.

If you and your husband feel like you're ready, then that's all you need. It's a decision between you two and no one else should be involved in that. The only thing I would say is don't put too much pressure on yourself to get pregnant in x amount of time. My husband and I have also been trying for baby and we've been told by our friends and family that if you try "too hard", by tracking everything and stressing yourself out about it, it's harder to get pregnant. I'm a firm believer that it will happen when it's supposed to. At first I was stressing myself out about it and it got to the point where I was taking multiple pregnancy tests a month to see if I was pregnant and I was getting upset every time I got a negative result. Recently I've just been letting things happen. I'm trying not to stress about it or put a time frame on it, and we're hoping that works.

It's a personal decision that nobody has any business making except for you and your husband!

Edit: The decision has been made. I am looking for advice on navigating the journey of trying to get pregnant and wanted to avoid the questions about how old we are what we should do before trying. But I do appreciate the feedback!

My advice would be to find a good OB and start taking a prenatal vitamin.

View Quoted Comment Second prenatal vitamin, but I think it's even more important to start getting natural sources of necessary vitamins like folate and iron. Add some leafy greens and some red meat to your diet, or whatever other source you like.


Also, I stopped drinking caffeine so that I could get better sleep. I think sleep deprivation makes ir harder to get pregnant.
And bring sown those stress levels! Take care of yourself

I first want to say that it sounds like you guys are pretty solid and I love that you've made this decision together and are going forward with what's right for you. As far as the comments go, I'm dealing with the same/opposite thing. What I mean by that is FH and I absolutely do NOT want kids. I'm 30 and he's 32, so we've definitely had time to think about it and come to that conclusion. Our friends and family all know our position on this, but we still get all the questions and unsolicited advice like: How long after you get married are you going to start trying to have kids? It's different once you get married - you'll want little "yous" running around in a few years! How do your parents feel about you not giving them grandkids? Isn't that really selfish of you?

So on that note, I say to shoot your shot and do what's right for you. Your family is nobody else's business, even though everyone tries to make it theirs. My best advice to avoid the questions is that, honestly, you can't. People will stick their noses where noses shouldn't be no matter what you do. Not discussing trying to start a family with people other than your husband and trusted family/friends may help to curb some of the questions. People who don't know you're trying to conceive may not ask about it just because you're younger and they might assume you're not thinking about that yet. In that case, let them have their assumptions if it means fewer inappropriate questions for you to deal with. If you feel you need or want to share this with others just make it very clear that you've made your decision and that you expect them to respect that you are an adult fully capable of making such a decision. If they still try to ask questions or give the unsolicited advice, say something like, "Thank you for your concern, and I understand that you're coming from a place of love, but this is what we have decided is right for us. Further discussion of this topic is not welcome." And remember, you don't owe anyone an explanation and nobody is entitled to your reasons.

As for the actual family planning aspect, I can only go off of what helped my cousin. Absolutely make sure you have a good OB that you trust and follow their recommendations. Stress is likely going to be your worst enemy, so figure out good ways to get rid of that stress for you and practice self care. Be honest with yourself about the process, too. You may get pregnant within the first couple of weeks of trying, but you could also try for years before finding out that one or both of you have fertility struggles. I'm not saying to be pessimistic, just that it's completely okay and normal if it doesn't happen right away. Get as much rest as you can and just make sure you and your husband are completely honest with each other. This is a very emotional journey and sometimes you'll be frustrated or sad, but knowing that person is there with you is so great.