Pre wedding depression/anxiety

It's good to know I am not alone. I've been struggling with anxiety for 6 months now and it's a horrible feeling! I had no idea my body will react this way from all the planning stress. I feel like I've had every anxiety symptom possible. I am so over this wedding and want my life back. 1 more month to go!

This post just nailed how I feel right now. I'm overwhelmed with all the attention. People keep asking me "what are you doing about this? "What are you doing about that?" I'm overwhelmed and exhausted and like you said "I just want my life back". The drama since the planning started has become extremely disheartening to me.

My major circle of support, meaning my mother and several friends who can practically read my mind on decorating and such are back in my home state and so I don't have many people helping me or in my corner...or at the very least its hard for them to get hands on and help The guest list is bigger than I can comfortably handle (I suffer from social anxiety and originally wanted just close family and a few good friends...but my FMIL went ahead invited so many more people than I wanted, I don't even know them and I am sick to my stomach just imagining all these people). The arguments over planning with my FH has really upset me. He is so casual and relaxed that he is not understanding things like "I know it's a home reception but I don't want to serve guests out of a coleman cooler in the living room". His mother is handling the home reception (had no intentions of decorating, and now that is an added task I had to take on) and we are not on the same page with a lot of things and he is having trouble being stuck in the middle and to his credit he has fixed a few incidents for me but sometimes he sides with her, or tries to talk me out of things because he thinks she won't want to do them and so I feel like every detail has come with some sort of debate and so I feel very isolated, lonely, angry and upset, and quite frankly I cant wait until this wedding is over.

I have also increased the wine intake as well. LOL.

The worst though is along with the normal pre wedding planning frustration, my dog of twelve years was put down a few days ago...the one guest I did not want to have cancel, and she was also my ring bearer. Two nights later, my FH and I, both upset over the loss got into a fight (we never EVER argued before this wedding planning) over yet another request from his mother that I was not all together on board with and also went against what he and I agreed upon initially...and I am just so done arguing, having my decisions poo-poo'd, or those awkward loaded hesitations after I make a suggestion for MY wedding..all I want to do is curl up on the bed clutching my pup's favorite dog toy and ugly cry. I just feel a really heavy weight on me with the planning, the loss of my best friend, hoping everything goes ok, anticipating more arguments, etc. So at this point....I just don't care...I don't know what to do with my hair yet, and I don't care. I lost the paper with dimensions to the tables...and I just guestimated the table cloths because I don't care anymore, which might actually better because before I was so nervous about the planning I would get anxiety and walk away because every decision has come with drama. Everyone around me is glowingly excited for my wedding and I'm like "don't ask me anything until two thirds of this bottle is gone"

My new mantra is "Just remember, you have two bottles of prosecco and cake at the end" I'm taking the whole cake and a single fork to the garage, finding a corner and drinking right out of the bottle.

I have to say though...after reading this post...I feel a little less alone.

I LOVE attention and I love organizing and planning, and I'm 1 week out from my wedding and I'm officially OVER it! I am definitely now sort of wishing we had eloped vs this 3 day wedding weekend I planned! It took me quite awhile to get here but I'm here! So just know that even those of us who love attention reach our breaking point too, lol, I'm glad to see I'm not alone and it's normal!