Pre-Marital Counseling

I think counseling should be a requirement before ANYONE gets married. It makes you dig deep into your relationship and ask questions that normally don't come up in day to day conversations. DH and I learned more about each other in our sessions. It can be done by a pastor or through other classes. We talked about what would happen if we couldn't have kids, if we had a miscarriage, if one our parents had to live with us, if one of us lost our job. It forced us to look at the difficult things that may arise in our marriage and while we don't have all the details worked out for each of the situations we had least have an understanding of where we each are coming from.

One more thing .... as far as the whole "wife submitting to their husbands" if you read further into that verse you'll see that husbands are asked to submit to their wives too so it works both ways. I had a hard time with that verse myself until my aunt told me to keep reading.

I have found that religious-based counseling, although filled with words of wisdom, often miss the mark. By this I mean, they fail to address core in-competencies of individuals and couples that exist in modern-day life.

Great for thought-provoking conversations, but hardly a plan or road map. So, counseling becomes solely an assessment tool for handing out "Pass" or "Fail".

As in most religions, however, marriage is pretty much the only route to being with someone. So, what? 50% of us should stay in our rooms and pray that we don't get the urge to be intimate with another person. I hope not.

That said, I think pre-marital counseling should take on the role of pre-marital "planning". Concrete analysis of roadblocks, practical advice, and lessons. See e.g. http://youtu.be/P2YZb37Zhvk

Getting married without pre-marriage counseling is like starting a business or any important venture without preparation and the skills to run the business. It is not surprising that half of all marriages end in divorce and only half of those that endure are truly happy in the long run. Many happy engaged couples assume that they won’t be contributing to these statistics. Some mistakenly believe that having lived together or known each other for a long time will prepare them for marriage. Surprisingly, research shows that cohabiting couples have no better chance at marriage success than others as the main reason for failing marriages is lack of relational/intimate skills.

Most couples just don’t realize that good, skill-based pre-marriage education can reduce the risk of divorce by up to thirty percent and lead to a significantly happier marriage. It can also reduce the stress of the pre-wedding period. There is no reason to make the effort now to increase your marriage success and to do everything you can to ensure that your dreams of a great marriage and a great life are realized.Premarital counseling led by Licensed Marriage Family Therapist (LMFT) and Marriage Counselor provides many skills to deepen intimacy in relationship. It is also for couples who want to rekindle and enhance an already good relationship.