Pre-engagement Wedding Planning

Hi Kaylie,

I like this WeddingWire article for you- How to Plan Your Wedding In 6 Months. It lays out which planning aspects you should be concerned with each month!

Also, see the WeddingWIre Checklist so you can get an idea of some of the nitty gritty details that you may want to jump on sooner than later. You can totally customize your checklist so don't feel obligated to keep every piece of the checklist.

I don't understand why he would wait until September to propose when you've already booked a wedding venue and officially have a wedding date? I mean by those standards, you ARE engaged to be married. You really need to start booking vendors now and he should just propose already. If that's not an option, then I'd just act like you're already engaged, because you should have all you big vendors booked before the end of the summer.

I don't really understand, to be honest. You're engaged when you decide to get married. The question really is just a formality.

In my opinion, if you have a venue then you're already engaged. The ring is just a symbol- it's not the end result. When I proposed to my fiance, I didn't give him a ring. I knew he would want to choose his own.

View Quoted Comment

Thanks Jay, that's a great reference

If you're both 100% solid on your plan to get married then you're engaged.

I'd start looking at photography and catering at least. You don't have to buy your dress quite yet but start thinking of styles. Researching takes a long time so you can always research but not book until you're sure.

I'd book vendors now. I know in your mind you aren't technically engaged, but like others have said, you have a date and a venue...you're engaged, just haven't gone through the formalities!

Vednors book up FAST. Waiting until September or later might mean stress for you since you'd have a harder time finding vendors that have your date open. Get all of the vendors out of the way (Big ones- caterer, DJ, photographer, stuff like that) and then you can hold off on the little stuff for later.

It could be sooner than September, I have no idea! We just have a big trip planned in Sept. But we both value a formal proposal, and we would wait until he proposes to tell extended family and friends. We are just more traditional in that sense I guess. So we'd prefer to wait for that before planning, if we can. But yeah some of them we may get a head start on!

View Quoted Comment

I'd just talk to FH about how quickly vendors get booked. You were lucky to get a venue, IMO because may-August is INCREDIBLY busy for weddings and many venues are booked a year in advance! Then he can either propose earlier or you two can agree to book the major vendors!

Are you in Los Angeles or Louisiana? If Los Angeles, then you really can't wait until September to start planning a wedding for May. The best, most affordable vendors get booked at least a year in advance and weddings in California, especially Southern California are very expensive. I agree with other PPs, you are already engaged so act accordingly. The ring can come later.

Why is he waiting until September if you already know he is going to propose? Most venues and popular vendors book a year out, especially in popular areas, so I'd just start booking vendors too since the venue is booked.

Yeah, I'm confused along with other PPs... this seems backwards. What is he waiting for? You've already started wedding planning... he needs to pull the trigger.

Waiting til September to plan a May wedding is way too late. By then you should already have just about every vendor booked. Just think September gives you less than 8 months to plan a wedding and that's just stressful. You've already started planning by booking a venue so you mind as well continue planning now so everything is be the way you want it to be. You guys have already made the commitment, the proposal is just for the ring at this point.

Don't worry about the proposal..its just a formality...i'd say go ahead and plan it wedding that way you will not be thinking about the proposal and will actually be surprised when it happens

I was sort of in your position. FH and I talked a lot about getting married before we were officially engaged, and even went so far as to discuss venues, time of year, ideas for the wedding, etc. It was important to me to have the proposal moment too, and I didn’t consider us engaged before that. But we didn’t set a date or book a venue until it was “official” with the ring - I think if we had, that would have trumped the ring and made it official.

So basically, I’m echoing other PPs to say you are already engaged and congrats! If you don’t wanna tell people until you have a ring, that’s fine - but DEFINITELY start booking vendors now. I’m getting married same time as you and have been planning since Jan - and have already run into vendors being booked on my date. May is super popular - start planning now!

Your fiancé doesn’t need a ring and to get down on one knee for you to be engaged. My fiancé proposed, didn’t get on one knee, and I didn’t get my engagement ring until 2 months later. He literally just asked me if i wanted to marry him and I said yes and that was it lol.

I wouldn't plan a wedding until I was proposed to. If he was ready to plan, he would propose.

Is the delay the ring purchase/money or is the ring the vacation to have a "perfect" engagement? In either, I agree with the others to start planning now, if you have a specific date so soon. If you wait until September to tell extended family, they will probably know that they're behind when you explain the may date and details right after the "formal" engagement. If it's the showmanship and having a "good" engagement story to share.. I feel it's overrated and will cause you unnecessary stress, because you will be in a limbo, you will see vendors being booked, time slipping by, feel you can't ask for help cause you're keeping this secret. If you're already in wedding planning mode, the engagement in September may not be as special as you think it will be.

Explain to bf the complications, maybe purchase a plastic ring, if that's the hold up and you're committed to the May date. Ask him to do a local engagement sooner than later. This would now be your lovely story. A real story.

View Quoted Comment I agree. If you insist, make sure you know all the details of cancellations, what deposits you lose, if you can reschedule a vendor (assuming the stars align and can get all vendors on the same rescheduled day). Some deposits may not be refundable, and there will be payments due between the deposit and the wedding date. That's more money that might be lost. Do you know why he's stalling? Is it getting money together for the ring, waiting for a special occasion, etc?