Postponing/Cancelling the wedding with less than 2 months to go

I'm sorry your going through this OP. you should not feel guilty or embarrassed for wanting what you want.

I am so sorry you're going through this. Proud of you for making the mature decision to postpone the wedding until you guys can decide whether you're able to get on the same page or not.

I haven't personally experienced this and I don't have much advice to give, but I think you're doing the right thing. I'll be thinking about you, keep us updated!

It's ok to have those feelings, but be comforted that you are doing what's best for you. Maybe you could ask your FH or another trusted loved one to help you make the calls. Take care of yourself. Hugs.

All I can say is I am sorry Nessanay. Postponing is probably for the best, because you don't want to get married and in a year or two divorce because you are on such different pages. Do not worry about being embarrassed, you are doing what is right for BOTH of you. This is a HUGE decision, not like one of you doesn't want a puppy and one does.

So sorry that you're going through a rough time right now but as PP said do NOT under any circumstances feel any shame or guilt for taking care of your needs before others.

Don't feel embarrassed or guilty, dear. You made the right decision for you. To make such a difficult decision with the pressure of an upcoming wedding is too much, so I strongly believe you did the right thing. I've never been through this, but you sound like a strong young woman and I bet you can handle this new challenge.

Thank you everyone! It has been very tough. My bridal shower was supposed to be this coming Sunday. I have spoken with my parents (the people who I was most afraid of telling since they have helped so much already) and with my maid of honor. They have been a great support. I just have to start making a list of everyone else to call, starting with vendors.

So sorry you're going through this. I think you two made a wise decision to postpone to figure what is best to do for the both of you.

Don't feel embarrassed, it's a very courageous thing to slow down and say "wait a minute, is this what I want...is this what we want together?" A marriage is a lifetime of 60+ years together and you and FS need to be on the same page on all aspects of it. Your vendors will understand and more importantly so will your family and friends. Use them to turn to for support.

Don't be sorry, don't be embarrassed; the decision to have children is a giant one, and frankly, a lot of couples don't put enough thought into it. It's good that you both did, even if the end result of that thought might not be what you hoped for. Postponing is wise.

Big virtual hugs to you.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but you have to be happy...years down the road you will regret not being able to have children since you do want them.it could cause you to be bitter or even divorce I can't imagine walking away after 7 years, but at the same time I want kids as well and if he didn't I would never be fully complete.

I'm sorry you're going through this but have nothing to be embarassed about. You're doing what's right for you. This might be hard but getting married now and sorting it out later would not have made sense. Wether or not to have children is not something you can meet half way and comprise on.

You are doing what is best for both of you at this time and that is what matters. I remember the embarrassment I felt after my ex and I cancelled our wedding but after some time I realized it was for the best. I know its hard to walk away from 7 years but you deserve to live out your dreams for your life just as much as he does. A hard lesson I learned from my experience is sometimes love simply is not enough. Your gut instinct is never wrong, listen to it.

Lucille1,

I agree completely. The issue is that he is not sure if he does or does not want kids. He said hes scared and hes said yes since we discussed calling off the wedding completely, but I fear that it is out of desparation to keep our relationship. I don't blame him for how he feels, and I can't fault him for having these feelings. I definitely agree there is no compromise on children and it is a make it or break it for me. He just needs time to figure out what he wants and I can't gamble 60+ years of my life and my want for kids on a 50/50 chance.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I am glad you are considering your future and having these conversations before the wedding

Thank you everyone for your encouraging words, good thoughts, prayers and advice. It is very appreciated!!

My FH and I postponed our wedding, and it was absolutely the best decision for us. OP I understand your feelings of guilt and embarrassment because I felt the exact same way. It was tough making those phone calls and having those conversations, but the overwhelming emotions do eventually go away.

After we decided to postpone, we took 3 months and went through couples counseling and didn't plan anything for the wedding. We took the time to really focus on our relationship and make sure that we did want to spend the rest of our lives together. Of course that amount of time will vary from couple to couple. Take as much time as you need to figure it out and don't feel pressure from anyone else who cares to comment on your relationship.

Waiting until you are on the same page is the best thing you can do. The regret later would be harder to go through than the embarrassment now. Hang in there and keep reminding yourself that EVERYTHING happens exactly how it's suppose to.

On this subject, for etiquette... Are we supposed to pay back monetary gifts that we have received now? Or do we wait until we know for sure we wont be staying together/getting married?

I have only received monetary gifts thus far (aside from the time that those close to me have put in for our wedding shower and such).

Hi Neasanay - No need for guilt or embarrassment. Having children is a big commitment you two should be aligned on before marriage. Take your time and figure things out. Thinking of you.

Lucille1 - Yes, we are not sure of anything yet. I think that is a good rule of thumb though. Since there is no date, we will send back.

Thank you!