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Sandra
Dedicated May 2021

Postponing the wedding. (venting a little)

Sandra, on January 19, 2018 at 2:36 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 30
I'm devastated. We're most likely canceling the wedding due to funding. Life just keeps hitting us hard and we're not going to be able to afford it right now. One thing after another!!! I mean really, flat tire AND a new car battery in one week? FMIL has generously offered to help us move to Florida so we may be taking an entirely different turn on life, which is exciting... yet I'm so sad I won't be having the traditional wedding. But what do I send to guests? We sent our save the dates out, now I'm worried what guests will think. Go figure I have a pile of invitations sitting here. And what do I say to vendors? Will they return deposits for cancellations or no? I think this is more stressful than planning the wedding! Smiley sad
Sorry just needed to vent a little.


30 Comments

Latest activity by Sandra, on January 22, 2018 at 12:50 PM
  • Jennifer
    Super August 2019
    Jennifer ·
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    As far as your vendors go read through the contracts and see if there's a time frame to where you may get your deposit back. So sorry to hear about the postponing though

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  • LillyBean17
    Master October 2017
    LillyBean17 ·
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    That sucks things aren't working out for you. But if a new tire and a new car battery are putting you in such financial trouble, you should postpone anyway and get your finances under better control.
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  • Going to the chapel
    Master July 2017
    Going to the chapel ·
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    Vendor refunds - read your contracts. They should have a section on what will happen if the bride/groom cancel.

    Send a cancellation notice to your guests. It can be on a postcard to save money on printing and postage. You don't owe anyone an explanation of why this is occurring.


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  • Jennifer
    Expert March 2018
    Jennifer ·
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    We were in the same boat so we sent out post cards from Vistaprint.

    Postponing the wedding. (venting a little) 1

    Postponing the wedding. (venting a little) 2
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  • RustyTheDog
    Dedicated December 2017
    RustyTheDog ·
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    If your contracts don't let you out of much (I seriously doubt they will refund deposits since that's normally what a deposit is for- to hold the date in case of cancellation) and may even still hold you liable for more to be due, you may want to talk to your family about seeing if you can get help financially with the wedding instead of with moving. Moving can be expensive too, depends on your situation. Don't book anything new, see what you can scale back/remove and talk to vendors if they can reduce services (like the photographer working for only 2 hours for the price of the deposit so nothing is lost but no more is due).


    Best of luck!

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  • Sandra
    Dedicated May 2021
    Sandra ·
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    Oh this is so incredibly cute!!! I love this idea!


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  • True Lovers
    Beginner June 2020
    True Lovers ·
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    So sorry to hear of the postponing. You both will make it through. I applaud you on knowing what is more important and not creating more debt. Some couples would go on and be deeper in a hole still paying for their weddings. I know a couple of weddings that got postponed to another/later date. Sometimes life throws us curveballs and the one thing is you both still have each other. Let people talk...no one knows your business but you and the groom. People sometimes put their inputs and have opinions when they know they're having problems themselves. Weddings will always be. I agree...you don't owe anyone an explanation of why this is happening. Hope things get better!

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  • Sandra
    Dedicated May 2021
    Sandra ·
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    That is a big part of our problem, FMIL backed out of wedding plans and decided to put the money to help us move to florida... so our budget is literally at it's breaking point right now; then when my mother found out what FMIL did she recommended we cancel the wedding. (My mother also gave us a gift financially) so we are left with not much and not much time to save what we need.

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  • Red Queen
    VIP May 2018
    Red Queen ·
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    Why not just scale back and have a smaller/cheaper wedding so you can still get married?

    At the end of the day, that's the bit that matters.

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  • Nemo
    Master August 2018
    Nemo ·
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    Were you planning on moving to Florida anyway? Did you need the financial help for the move? Could you talk to her about putting the money back into the wedding since you're at risk of having to cancel the event and lose out on money you already put down?

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  • RustyTheDog
    Dedicated December 2017
    RustyTheDog ·
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    Yikes, I'm just sorry for you. Your FMIL sounds like a real peach to change the funds like that... have you told her that her change in plans would make you indefinitely post pone the wedding?

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  • Sandra
    Dedicated May 2021
    Sandra ·
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    We were already planning to move next winter before the snow. At this point we're not sure if we would need the financial help or not.


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  • Nemo
    Master August 2018
    Nemo ·
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    Gotcha, I'm so sorry. I would be devastated too. It seems strange that she would pull the wedding funding if you don't even know if you'll need help with the move yet.

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  • Sandra
    Dedicated May 2021
    Sandra ·
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    I think she's just planning ahead and wants to put the money aside... I don't even know.


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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    Did she make this decision unilaterally? This just seems off...

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  • O
    Master October 2017
    O ·
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    Check your contracts, but I don't think much can be done on that part. Also, what about wedding insurance, what does that cover? We purchased wedding insurance and had a cancellation clause in ours.
    I would definitely get finances in order first before planning a wedding if purchasing a tire, and battery put you in a bind.
    Would a courthouse wedding still be feasible with dinner afterwards?
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  • Forestwed
    Master May 2018
    Forestwed ·
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    If your wedding is in July aren’t most things paid for? You have 7 months to pay for whatever is left
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  • C
    Master July 2018
    Cuoghi ·
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    I totally agree with this statement. If the $500 you just spent made the wedding you had planned impossible, you both need to really address your finances and consider a wedding within you means, when the time comes. And please don't go into debt over your wedding, not a good way to start a future together. And most people who are married will also tell you it is not worth it. I really hope you can get your deposits back.
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  • Sandra
    Dedicated May 2021
    Sandra ·
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    It definitely didn't make the wedding impossible, it was just an example of all the bad luck we've been having lately. It's been one thing after another with doctors bills and car troubles and just a ridiculous amount of one bad thing after another. FH lost his job and has been working odd jobs since... It's been a mess. But we're making it through. The wedding budget, however, has been threatened and we don't have the extra funds to just frivolously add on. We shrunk our wedding in size to family only plus bridal party when FH lost his job, so save the dates went out to family. We had rented a small room at a resturant for a small dinner, no dancing or dj, instead of renting a tent and having the dreamy backyard reception i wanted, I had cut the elaborate wedding I started planning when I got engaged last june from $14,000 estimated to $6,000 and i've been working this past week trying to make it even less by asking my photographers if they could do a smaller package since we changed reception locations. it's been frustrating to try to get it down and then all this happens. it's just disheartening.

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  • B
    Dedicated April 2019
    Brittany ·
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    I would try to still go with the wedding date as planned by keeping it as small as your budget allows. That way you won't lose your deposits and you can still get married! And later on in life if you still want a big day then you wait for an anniversary or vow renewal.

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