Postponed wedding... want to downsize new wedding considerable

Ok, i have to ask. what could have possibly made them decide that they weren't ready to get married in May, but two months later everything is wonderful!?

as long as it was communicated to every single person that received an invite that the wedding was postponed, i guess they can move forward however they want. i would probably be somewhat annoyed that they just up and changed their mind for two months though, barring any extenuating circumstances. it would kind of seem like they just uninvited everyone

You could avoid a lot of these questions / potential problems by postponing for 6 months or a year, or longer. This feels less like a postponement and more like it's just been rescheduled, in which case I DO think you need to invite all the same people again.

What's *really* going to change in 2 months?

If they waited longer, they could get away with shortening the guest list, IMO.

Thank you ladies!

Why was the wedding postponed? That's what doesn't make sense to me - if they weren't ready to get married, what would change in two months? Or were they just not up for a big wedding?

Out of curiosity, did your daughter have a shower already?

I personally would be upset if I attended a shower, brought a gift, heard the wedding was postponed, then received an announcement a couple months later that the couple was already married.

Otherwise I think it would also be best to wait a little longer in which case I believe downsizing would be alright.

No shower yet, although it was planned. The couple postponed for many reasons and initially were going to wait at least six months for a new date but because they live 1,000 miles apart don't really want to wait another six long months on top of the four years they've already spent in this long-distance relationship. You've all helped very much and it looks as though the answer is to invite the original guest list which makes perfect sense.

We were suppose to get married April 2013 but postponed after invites were sent for many reasons one not being ready. We are in a 6 year long distance relationship. We moved it to July this year and down sized from 165 to 133 changed venue, state that the wedding is in and everything because others had turned it into what they wanted. We waited longer so that when we downsized most people would not be upset since it was not a coupe months and with moving it to another most of the one we cut would not come anyway.

Hubby and I were supposed to get married in June 2004 and the invitations were already sent out to everyone and in April he got laid off and we weren't able to have it the way we initially planned, so we contacted everyone and told them that the wedding was postponed and canceled everything. We were going to wait a while, but decided why wait when we already had my dress and already had a deposit on his tux, and my MOH had her dress and her Hubby, the BM had bought his tux, and we wanted to be married. So in August of 2004 without inviting anyone, we got married on the back deck of the my BFF/MOH and her Hubby/BM's house with just us, them, my father, the officiant and a photog we found for $200 through the officiant, ordered takeout Italian and had our first dance in their living room with a CD of At Last.

A few months later, we sent out our announcements with our wedding picture. There were some family members and friends who were disappointed, but they got over it and understood our decision.

If you're going to do it this way (which I agree is weird-- what could happen in two months that would make them "ready"), then I think it is odd to not invite all 120 guests. But you can still do it and I'm sure people will understand if they have a good reason. BUT I think it's plain rude to elope and then send out wedding announcements. That is basically begging people for gifts/ money, even though they weren't special enough to attend the wedding, IMO. You may not send them with the intention of people sending you gifts, but that is how it's going to come across.

Here's the thing, if they planned to get married 5/3, postponed, and then decided to get married 5/2 it doesn't matter why. They have obviously worked out whatever issues they have. Downsize the list and invite the folks they want there. I think folks feel you owe them something and you constantly have to put their feelings above your own. I call flag on the play.