Post wedding anxiety?

Has anyone else been questioning things that happened on their wedding day?

It was a beautiful day. I just keep questioning how things could have been timed better.

You should focus on married life or TTC if that's what you want. My life has actually gotten stress free post wedding.

Is it possible that your put too much pressure on the night itself? I think sometimes the idea that the day and every aspect of it will be so perfect that minor hiccups seem catastrophic. Ask yourself: Did you have fun? Did your husband have fun? That's all that matters. Not the small details.

I've had a few moments of wondering if I picked the wrong hairstyle, wishing I would have spoken up with my MUA about the highlighting she did, and also fretting over some "must have" pictures that got left out. I understand how you feel to a degree.

Yes, but it gets better with time. I'm still struggling with a few things, but I feel better than I did a few weeks ago. I've been trying to focus on other projects and put the things I can't change out of my mind.

BTW, I thought your hair and makeup looked beautiful!

I'm not to the post-wedding stage yet but I can understand why you would be having these thoughts. It's easier said than done, but try focusing on the positive memories of the day and the things that went right. Just remember, you're married now. That's the important part.

No one knows what didn't come out the way you planned, unless there was some major disaster, like no food or no dj. But what's the deal with the photographer?

I'd relax!!! You're married, they had a ball, all is right with the world!

Honey, I missed your BAM, but I just looked it up.

Please go look at it, date twin! Look at your pictures. Everything looks picture perfect. I'm sure every wedding has things that could have gone better or smoother - just try to look back and remember the things that were amazing. And from the looks at your photos, your wedding was amazing. You rocked that dress, and your hair....gorgeous!

I'm sorry you feel this way, I totally understand. Yes, I think this can certainly happen especially to people who are naturally worriers, I've totally done this myself. Usually I look back on my wedding and remember how fun it was, but sometimes I look back and only see how my hair wasn't quite the way I wanted it, I didn't have a flower crown like I wanted, and I'm sure my DH's family all are mad at me for not spending enough time with them... This is just how I am, I worry, and I need to consciously decide to let it go. No one will be as critical of my wedding as I was, and I'm not making anything better by worrying. When I'm feeling sad about my wedding I try to look at pictures of everyone dancing and happy which helps me focus on what was most important - I got married to a great person and had lots of wonderful people around to support me. Weddings aren't "perfect" because of flower crowns or scheduling, they are "perfect" because of the love of the people involved. I know that sounds soooooo cheesy but I think it is true. Sending you a hug.

Although I haven't had my wedding yet, I understand. I get anxiety after a lot of events/situations/purchases about how I could have done/said things differently. Sometimes it can consume you. But you just have to remember that you had a beautiful wedding day and focus on the next positive thing in your life! Sticking to the positive usually helps me

I saw your BAM and you looked stunning!

My hair wasn't perfectly to my liking, I was late...almost 30 minutes & DH was pissed! He's a time keeper!!! We missed a few photos that I would loved to have had but I can't change any of it now. It was still the best day because I married my DH & that's honestly all that matters.

Thanks ladies, this is the encouragement I need. I don't know why I can't get out of my head what didn't go right, when so many other aspects of the evening did.

I honestly haven't seen any pics yet, so I really can't say anything regarding the photographer until I do. I just felt like the timing was way off. I'm hoping the end results will be good.

I didn't question too much afterwards, but About a week before the wedding I questioned everything. Wondering should I have had 10 bridesmaids, should I have had something bigger than the small wedding I planned, but in my heart I knew I was having the wedding I wanted

I panicked a lot during the planning, but not really much afterwards which surprises me when I think about it.

Did any friends or relatives take any pictures for you? Those could be fun to play around with while you are waiting for the pro pics.

I feel the same way. I have only seen one picture and I don't think it is good so I'm worried they will all be bad. I didn't take a moment to fix my hair, powder my nose, etc. I'm a sweaty mess!

I also worry I didn't mingle enough. My nieces two daughters were there and I spent a lot of time, too much time with them, people left before I even got a chance to say hello! It went by so quickly, just a blur. I want a do-over!

Ohh yes. I struggled with it bad because of all of the decor things that didn't go right for me due to lack of time and a few other circumstances (like my coordinator quitting 18 days before). I had a friend recently tell me that "There was nothing memorable about my wedding, decor wise"...with a "no offense" added in there. Pretty soul crushing considering the two years of thought I put into it. But eventually it gets better. My photo and video team did a good job of capturing what I did get done and I just try to focus on that.

I am a perfectionist, and after our wedding (which was a BEAUTIFUL day and everyone told us how much fun they had, what a wonderful wedding it was, etc.) I was still so focused on negatives - like the wrong tablecloths being used on our outdoor tables, or song choices that the DJ made. It REALLY helped to get our wedding video and our pictures back! After watching the video and seeing the pictures, I had a better feel for our wedding day from a third-party perspective instead of from my very narrow "bride" focused perspective. I could see how much fun everyone was having, how beautiful it all really was, and it made me feel SO MUCH better!

Also, I think it helps to busy yourself with post-wedding things - changing your name, preserving/cleaning the dress, selling wedding items, etc.

I really relate to these comments. There is a tremendous amount of pressure for a wedding to be the best day of your life and I think the reality for many women (although they don't all choose to admit it!) can be very different. I have suffered from anxiety since my teens and whilst I threw myself into wedding planning, nothing could really prepare me for how overwhelming the day would be. Whilst I loved the most important part of the day, our ceremony, anxiety took over during the reception and I got very overwrought by a combination of our timings going majorly wrong (evening guests left waiting for 1.5 hours as the wedding breakfast took so long to serve) and family dramas. In the evening I just needed to let off some steam so I spent the whole time on the dance floor with my close friends and didn't mingle at all. I felt really sad in the week or two after the wedding but I'm slowly realising that none of it really matters. Yes I would do things differently, yes I wish I'd thought more carefully about how to manage my anxiety but ultimately I can't go back and re-do my wedding day! I've had lots of lovely comments about how people enjoyed the day and I'm hoping that when I see the photos and video it will reassure me that I did speak to people and I was happy about the day. At the moment, when I try and piece the day back together, it just feels like I was walking along in a trance and I have big memory blanks - maybe this is what people really mean when they say it goes so fast. I didn't really feel I was present, but I'm hopeful that the photos and videos will bring it all back in a positive way. Above any of this the important thing is that I got to marry a wonderful man who takes care of me and cherishes me. No amount of worrying that I didn't spend long enough with great aunt Violet can take that away!

I know this is an old thread, but I could really relate to a lot of what you all said. And I am so glad it is not just me that feels like this. The wedding went well. Everyone says they had a great time. But I just can't shake some negative parts that didn't go to plan, and they are overtaking the postitive parts. I too don't have the photos or video back (hoping I like them!) so maybe that will help. The memory of the day just feels like a jumble of emotions. Extreme happiness during the cermomony. I was in a trance and had a massive (weird) smile on my face. The photos were great too (again in a weird love trance). Then I have the feeling of stress and anger as the music I requested during the meal wasn't on, instead there was this AWFUL dated music really loud. This kinda ruined the meal. I didn't like the starter.l. So I felt embarrased. The speeches (i'd been anxious about for the whole wedding process as my dad is quite shy) were amazing. My husband said the most moving things, as did our fathers. I was so happy. Then the band played the worst songs. So was annoyed again and no one danced. Then everyone did dance, but 2 of my good friends disappeared all night into the toilet crying their boyfriends didn't love them. I didn't really talk to anyone as I was dancing (and trying to keep people dancing). I have a memory of being rude to someone that wanted to talk, my partners relative. The hotel rooms people were in were not as nice as the ones of the website so people were disappointed. So many post wedding regrets. I did want the day to go perfect, and I am a bit of a control freak so when it wasn't the perfect day I imagined I freaked out and told myself I didn'y enjoy it.

But looking at the little videos I am enjoying myself and chatting to people and having a lovely time, I just don't seem to remember those parts annoyingly. Lets hope the video makes me see the day as it was, and not a crazy control freak pefectionist bride.

For me, my anxiety is based on what I failed to do for other people - the sentimental and thoughtful stuff. It was pure mayhem in the two days before the wedding; all fore-planning went out of the window. Even my dress wasn't picked up until after the bridal shop's closing hours because my mother, who was supposed to collect it, was unwell and I was busy with a crazy amount to do ... so you can only imagine how easy it was to let other things slip through the net. I have been having palpitations and all the usual anxiety symptoms since the wedding, knowing that I have likely offended or upset members of my new family - who bought and made really kind things for us to use as decoration and gifts that never got used because we were overwhelmed and f****d up. That and I choked doing my speech and couldn't find my notes so didn't thank a load of people then either!!! The wedding itself was lovely - full of good vibes, smiles, sunshine and laughs. Yesterday (being the day after the wedding) I was on cloud 9 with all the happy memories but today I'm finding it hard to breathe.

I've had the exact same experience, but just knowing I'm not alone makes me feel so much better! It's hard because I also don't feel able to express these emotions to anyone because others spent so much time and money on it.. I don't want them thinking I was anything other than ecstatic. Everyone comments on what a beautiful day it was and I know at the end of the night I felt it was absolutely phenomenal- it just went by too fast.

Then I had all of this time to reflect on things I would've done differently... I got my photos and saw my makeup wasn't how I wanted or I didn't smile naturally enough... I lose sleep over it! I know what it comes down to is that I spent two years pressuring this single day to be the best day of my life. I've never been married before and have been to very few weddings prior. I didn't have much to learn from and it's just not possible that everything is going to go right.

I'm trying to drop these thoughts and focus on the fact that I married my very best friend and we have a terrific marriage that others would kill for. Wedding imperfections or not, I wouldn't trade my MARRIAGE for the world!