Possibly skipping the dancing...

You're still having music right?

Uhm...can you make it earlier in the day?

I've never been or hears of an evening wedding with no dancing

I went to a wedding that didn't have dancing and it was fine. It ended by 8/shortly after cake but I enjoyed sitting and chatting. As long as you don't expect it to be an all night party, then I think your guests will be fine.

@Lauren Yes, we would make a playlist for background music. Not an awkwardly silent dinner.

@Colombiana We could, but our venue doesn't really like doing earlier weddings. Plus, a full meal in the afternoon seems awkward. We originally wanted an apps and cake afternoon reception. But, most of the venues we looked at didn't like that idea.

Neither my husband nor I really like to dance. We had a DJ just play music (we didn't want him to emcee, we just wanted music playing in the background). We didn't even have a dance floor (our wedding was in our backyard), but dancing happened! Haha. When we made our "toast" to our guests thanking them for coming, I said how we didn't have a dance floor but there was going to be music and if you felt like dancing, dance! And lots of people did Everyone still had fun. I'd suggest having music, even if you don't plan to dance, and see if it's even possible for people to have room to dance if they choose to (i.e., figure out if you're just going to be in a room full of tables, with literally no space to dance even if people wanted to). I'm glad we ended up having people dancing at our wedding. Heck, husband and I joined in even though we don't like dancing

@MrsOtoBe We're definitely not looking for an all night party. We have to be up obscenely early the next morning for our honeymoon flight. Plus, I think we'd like some alone time after the reception where we aren't exhausted.

I love to dance at a wedding so I would miss it to be honest, also even for the people who don't dance it's usually extremely entertaining to watch the people that do dance, especially after people have been drinking for awhile

So basically you're having more like a fancy dinner party. . . ?

I wouldn't expect it to last long into the night. I'm sure people will leave after dinner. But as long as you're ok with that, nothing says you HAVE to have dancing.

Maybe even think about doing heavy hors d oeuvres or food stations instead of a full dinner. So at least people can mill around and talk to other people. The dinner conversation at a set table can get stale pretty quick.

@JillR that was kind of my original vision, but I couldn't find a venue that liked the idea! They were all like "Sure, I mean we can do whatever you want... But here are all the reasons it would be awkward/you shouldn't..."

I do not think it would be a problem. FH and i are not much of public dancers, however, we do plan to dance all night on our wedding night. If you are having music and alcohol, do not be surprised if some people dance. Also, do not be surprised if people sneak out just right after dinner. Not everyone mingles.

@Rachel that's really helpful!

So, additional question - I don't think we want to party long into the night, but we have absolutely no problem with our guests staying and enjoying the DJ and drinks after we leave. Have you been to weddings where the party has continued without the bride and groom? I'm not saying we want to split right after cake, that would be rude.

I think you're wedding is going to be very nice. I don't really have any experience with staying after the bride and groom have left. They might stay? Would you do a "big exit" or just kind of quietly duck out at some point?

We didn't have dancing, just music but we also only had 15 guests and got married in a hotel suite where there wasn't too much room for dancing.

We are in your shoes except we like to dance. We have very few dancers but still plan on having a dance floor and DJ etc. Our DJ is very professional and we spoke about what we expect and his role in the evening is etc.

If you don't want a late night, then you can put the end time on your invite so people know and expect that. Are you planning on ending the night after dinner?

@VC, no we'd definitely like to stay and and mingle. I guess it just depends on how long dinner and cake take.

I have. BIL's wedding was this way. We had dinner and drank a lot. It was also a shorter reception since there was only dinner. It still ranks as one of my favorite weddings though, but that was because the wedding truly reflected the bride and groom.

Dancing makes the wedding IMO. Lack of dancing = sucky wedding

Do your guests like to dance?

Does your venue have a dance floor? If so, will you just be putting tables and chairs on it? Otherwise I think it would be hard to stop people from dancing unless you just played slower songs in the background. People might get confused though if they see an open dance floor.

There's nothing at all wrong with not having dancing, but I definitely think it depends on the venue. And as others have said, you definitely have to realize that it will end earlier than a reception with dancing would, which it sounds like you're fine with.

@FutureMrs.Dyson: Maybe? A lot of them will be my parent's age, aunts and uncles, family friends, etc. Most of our college friends probably won't be able to make it because we're having the wedding near my parent's home, and our friends live in another state. One of the things I'd like to avoid is having a dj trying to get people to dance if they don't want to. I've been to weddings where that has happened and it's always uncomfortable.

After reading all the feedback I'm thinking we may still have the DJ, and open space for dancing, so the guests have the option. It's really not that we want to prevent dancing at all costs. I just don't want FH to feel like he has to dance all night. And we'll make sure DJ knows he's not there to emcee, and not to feel like he has to keep the dance floor full. We went to a really awkward wedding last month where the DJ ran the show and kept urging people to get back on the dance floor even when they were clearly not interested.