Initially my fiancé and I were not planning on having a ring bearer since we do not have any young boys on either side of the family that we actual know. We were thinking maybe our closest friends son, it they idea came and gone months ago and we never talked about it since.
My fiancé and I were at our friend's house last weekend where surprisingly they brought it up(!). They said if we didn't have a ring bearer their son could definitely do it and it would save them the hassle of a sitter. They also mentioned that if their son was the ring bearer, they would also want to bring their one year old, and both kids would leave with the grandparents (who are invited to the wedding) after the reception and we could go on our way and continue the party without the kids.
We aren't allowing any kids, except my nieces who are the flower girls, since they are in the wedding.
I told my fiancé that I didn't think it was a good idea to allow one couple to bring their kids because it looks like favoritism and I feel it could just create problems. The ring bearer being at the reception is one thing, but the brother is another. We are excluding A LOT of kids, friends and family. I told him I think it's best to not have the ring bearer so we aren't put in an awkward situation. He doesn't agree and said people can just get over it. He added that it seems like our friends wouldn't have a baby sitter if we didn't have the son as the ring bearer and allow the brother to come, too. I told him it's not our problem that they cannot figure it out - they've known about our wedding date since July of last year. They have family that lives close by and the family also have a sitter recommendation for them.
We are still undecided as to how to move forward. What are your thoughts?