Poor Etiquette?

Haha 😂 it’s really just such a ridiculous thing to do, I don’t think “poor etiquette” can describe it. It’s just foolish and funny 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️
I’ve completely kept wedding details off of social media because I don’t want anyone to be hurt for not being invited. I couldn't imagine posting something like that, does she not care who comes to the wedding!?! That is absolute nonsense

In doing that she is essentially inviting all of her Facebook friends. But the way Facebook works, a lot of people might not see her post. I think its just better to message like you said or have family members gather them. I wouldn't say it's bad etiquette, just odd.

That just feels tacky and a bit dangerous. Is she really going to invite everyone that DMs her? Does she even know everyone on her friends list? I'm just floored by that. But I have seen people I care about do a lot of wedding related things I wouldn't be caught doing. I know I'm not the epitome of etiquette but wow!!!

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I know right. That was my thought process too. I'm like so technically you aren't creating your guest list but allowing your friends to create it. Yeah I have never posted my wedding date on Facebook because I don't want someone to see it and then not get invited..

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I guess so. She is also the type that has everyone and their mother on Facebook. Like I think she has like 1500 friends or something. I was just like ok this is nuts. Even my FH was like what the heck is she thinking!

I wouldn't say it's poor etiquette aha but then it's also kind of weird? It's like what if people you don't expect to invite message you wanting one based on that post aha. Like that seems odd to just put it out there like that but then again that's how some people are aha.

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Right, good point. I'm just wow that feels super impersonal too.

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Exactly. Maybe not poor etiquette just kind of weird and maybe not the best idea.

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She'll be in for quite a shock. I hope she knows save the dates require an invitation.

I find this a little odd. Most people want to come up with a guest list, tear it apart, make it again and then get the addresses for everyone for the save the dates and then for the invitations. Maybe if she wanted to post something about maybe saying "we are sorry we couldn't invite everyone we really wanted to be there, but we know life can get in the way and as long as you thought of us and we of you, is sometimes enough, but if you would like to help us out with our registry", that might be something to post on social media, at least in my mind.

It is her wedding, and she can post it if she does not mind the loss of privacy. However, like you, I would hope she remembers that it is not polite to talk or with about a party and invitations, where those not invited will hear or read it. She should be careful to only post that info where only those who are invited may see it, on a private or restricted page. Either that or invite anyone

I agree with you. I reached out to everyone I wanted addresses from individually or by groups, like I asked one cousin for his 2 brother's addresses and his parents (my great aunt and uncle). I also borrowed my mom's address book. I CRINGE when I see people post things like that on social media. The worst is when people make post about guests needing to RSVP and a TONNNN of people comment stuff like "guess I'm not invited" "I'll come if you have too many declines" "I guess my invite was lost in the mail" I always thing it's rude of brides and grooms to make posts like that, it like rubs in it non-invited people's faces and opens them up for people to outright say something. Idk I guess I just feel that its like how when you were a kid you wouldn't talk about your birthday party around kids who weren't invited...

My cousin's wife did that for their wedding. I only saw it because she tagged him in it. I felt so weird about responding to it that I just didnt. I was a little bummed that I wasnt added to the list to begin with, but I'm also not that close with my cousin.

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That's what I did too. I just looked through my mom's address book. The few addresses we don't have on my FH's side; his sister has them and will be giving those to us. I know I felt so weird when I saw it. I was like what if someone messages you and you don't want to invite them. I had a friend a year ago post about people making hotel reservations for her wedding; even that made me cringe a little bit. It wasn't as bad as this more like "Whoever needs to book, book now because you aren't staying with me and Tyler (her husband)."

I think it's SUPER weird. I would never DM someone our address randomly, not knowing if they planned on inviting me? How weird!

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Exactly! The bride and groom are the ones creating the guest list not people who decide to DM them their addresses.

A girl I went to high school with did this on Facebook, literally said "whoever wants an invite to our wedding hmu" To each their own, but that is a TERRIBLE idea in my opinion. People come out of the woodworks enough wanting to be invited to a wedding, I can't imagine how many people would hop on that bandwagon lol

To me that wasn't a good way for her to go about getting addresses. What if someone she doesn't want to invite DMs their address? Oh well. It's her sticky situation to handle!

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Yes that it is. All I could think was "Yikes" when I saw it. That is going to end badly. I was curious and looked to see if she still had it up, she does.

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The only thing that might work to her advantage is that it is a DW so maybe even with sending the STDs and eventually the invites maybe some will drop out due to the expense of that. But it's just so awkward.