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Dedicated September 2023

Plus Ones

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Taylor, on June 12, 2023 at 8:07 AM

I know this is always a hot topic and I am probably not in a unique situation but here for advice regardless. I have 2 good friends that were in relationships when I sent out save the dates a while ago. Their SOs names were on the save the date envelope. Since I have sent those out they have broken up with those people. One of them is still single and the other is in a VERY new relationship (like only a couple weeks together). I don't really want people I don't know at my wedding so I was planning on just inviting these 2 individual people and "revoking" their guest. These people know numerous other people who are invited so its not like their guest would be the only person they are comfortable with. Is that rude? I am addressing the invitation to just them when its sent. Should I also reach out to them individually?

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24 Comments

CM · on June 13, 2023 at 5:20 PM
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Truly single people do not need a +1 unless it's a destination wedding for every guest. It's a generous thing to offer, but definitely not obligatory. If you start giving out +1s to some singles and not others, IMO that opens up a can of worms. I would not have sent a STD to the then SOs for this precise reason, just verbally told your friends of your intention to include their BF/GF. I would send STDs only to SOs who you would want there no matter what.
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Dedicated September 2023
Taylor · on June 13, 2023 at 5:35 PM
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To be fair she was with her previous boyfriend for like 7 years so I thought I was in the clear but that’s neither here nor there. I only know about her current SO through a picture on instagram so I am assuming they are actually dating but not 100% sure and don’t feel like it’s my place to be nosy and ask.
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CM · on June 13, 2023 at 5:42 PM
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I can understand why you thought you were in the clear, too. IMO you are under no obligation to include a +1 for someone in a brand new relationship, those saying that no one else has the right to decide on a couple's level of commitment notwithstanding. In my view, there can be common sense limits.
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Dedicated September 2023
Taylor · on June 13, 2023 at 5:44 PM
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Thanks for the advice. To your other point no one that is single is getting a plus 1 unless they are in the wedding party. I definitely don’t want anyone to be asking why certain people got to bring a guest and others didn’t.
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