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Beginner May 2021

Plus Ones- who is invited and who is not

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on December 18, 2020 at 6:36 PM

Hi Future Brides!

I need some advice on plus ones! My fiancé and I are trying to have as small of a guest list as possible, but you know how that goes. It’s extremely difficult! My two brothers have girlfriends. Both brothers are super young, barely 20 years old. My stepsister who is 19 has a boyfriend also. One of the groomsmen has been with his girlfriend for a few months. In scenarios like this, the guest count starts to rise very quickly. Is it rude to say that we are only giving +ones to married couples and serious relationships? Serious relationships- couples that live together? Engaged couples? I know my dad will be irritated to hear that my siblings can’t bring their significant others, but with me being the one to front almost all of the money for my big day, I need to keep it small.

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26 Comments

Beginner May 2021
· on December 20, 2020 at 12:35 PM
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Thank you all for your input! My FH and I want a small wedding- even before covid this was the plan! We have a list of friends we can’t invite if we chose to let our young family bring their SO.

I also believe that COVID just throws out all of the norms. At the end of the day, I gotta do me. If people decide not to come, great! We’ll get our small wedding lol
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VIP September 2020
Willow · on December 21, 2020 at 2:47 PM
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I'd have clear lines for who gets a "plus one"/SO invite.

Married, engaged, living together couples, long term couples (over 1 year) should absolutely be invited together, by name. Bridal party members and traveling guests should probably get a plus one as a courtesy.
Outside of that, if someone is under 18, living with family, and being invited along with their parents, I would not be inclined to invite their SO's. Same for people who have been dating for less than 6 months and may not even be exclusive.
I would not invite family I've never met. It may even come off as gift grabby. I'd also invite in circles. Draw the line at first cousins, or aunts and uncles
Good luck
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Master May 2020
Kari · on December 21, 2020 at 4:37 PM
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In addition to my earlier post, I'd also support not inviting the boyfriends/girlfriends of teenagers or those under 21, who are most likely still living at home with their parents.
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Master 0000
Judith · on December 21, 2020 at 8:00 PM
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These 19 and twenty year olds are old enough to enlist in the army at 18 ( 17 with consent), get married at 18 ( earlier with consent), vote, have a baby, pay taxes, hold jobs amd live separately from family, and travel internationally by themselves, but you don't think they can be committed to a SO, why?
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Beginner December 2021
Walter · on December 28, 2020 at 11:46 AM
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I think plus ones should ONLY be for married/engaged/living together/long-term relationships, definitely NOT for singles .. especially for a small wedding .. that's ridiculous, this isn't prom
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Super September 2021
Paige L. · on December 29, 2020 at 9:53 AM
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In a previous relationship I had, my significant other was invited to a wedding but I wasn't, because the bride and groom had never met me. It was beyond insulting and I found it so rude that a bride and groom decided my relationship with their friend wasn't valid simply because they hadn't met me yet. I am a fervent believe that everyone on your guest list who has a significant other should receive an invitation for themselves and their partner. Now, truly single guests do not need a plus one, but anyone on your guest list with a partner should receive an invitation for the two of them.
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