I was invited to a small, intimate wedding later this month. As background: the bride and I have been friends since high school, but as close as we once were. This is her second marriage; it's also her groom's second marriage. We're in our late-40's.
The verbal invite included a "maybe you can have a plus-one dependent on space." (The bride's parents were planning to have a quick ceremony and reception in their backyard on a Friday evening; the house/yard is huge, but still a house.)
The invite arrived in the mail with a plus-one included. I invited my love interest (new relationship with an old friend) and sent a note to the bride with our dinner preferences, as requested. She responded: Sorry, I was joking about the plus-one. (The text came shortly after a series of texts came from a mutual friend asked a series of questions about my plus-one and lecturing me about the propriety of bringing a "new, unknown person to an intimate wedding.") This rubbed me the wrong way, because he's not new to me even if the romantic aspect of our relationship is. Besides, I was offered a plus-one on the invite. I wanted to be agreeable (and not cause the bride stress), so I decided to just roll with it. No worries, right?
A few days later, I receive a message that the day of the wedding has changed along with the venue. Now, the wedding will be held on a Sunday night in a ritzy resort. (Her dad had a work-event planned that was cancelled.)
Having to add an additional night to my travel plans/time-off from work, I am now staying with my date Sunday night; he offered to let me stay the night of the wedding (save on expenses) and offered to drop me off/pick me up from the wedding so I can have a cocktail, if I want. (I'm a lightweight.)
1st Question: Would it be rude to ask the bride if I can bring my date now that the day/venue has changed?
2nd Question: The wedding shower was this weekend. I was not invited. Is this the new "normal"? It feels like a bit of a slight...
