Plus One?

I generally dislike the idea of plus ones, but including someone's significant other isn't the same thing as a random plus one. An actual person, with a name, that someone is in a committed relationship with, should receive more weight than just a random wedding date. Your bridezilla friend is penalizing people for not conforming to the social construct of marriage.

I'd have a long hard talk with her about how the women in her bridal party are supporting her and spending money on her and how allowing each of them to bring their partners would greatly enhance their experience at the wedding. If she refuses to budge, then you need to decide whether or not you want to attend the wedding without your partner. If the answer is no, bow out gracefully.

I wouldn't attend a wedding if my husband wasn't invited (even before he was my husband). That is SO rude.

She may be telling you one thing yet living another. Just because she’s saying they have all this money or presenting her life one way doesn’t mean that’s they actually truth. Or her FH and his family may be playing a part in restricting access to the funds. They may be doling it out to specifically pay for certain things as they approve of it or only he has control of it and she’s embarrassed to admit it. Honestly after all you and your family has done for her I’d go to the wedding and then slowly back out of the friendship. But if you guys are really close I think you need to talk with her before the wedding and let her know how much her actions has hurt you. And based on the conversation make your decision from there.

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***UPDATE****

Ladies thank you so, so, so, so much for all your advice on this. I decided to back out of the wedding. I attempted to talk with her about it, but she went into full defense mode and suddenly myself and my daughters (both were her flower girls) became "numbers" rather than people in her wedding party. I explained that if my whole family wasn't welcome than I could not attend because we are a unit and she doesn't have a right to define my relationship. She simply stated that her fiance's aunt has been with the same man for 5+ years and they live together as well and she told her the same thing "No plus one's" so she wasn't changing the rules for me. I think she ultimately defined our relationship as friends in that moment and in all honesty set her tone for how she is viewed by his family as well. I'm sure at this point, she is willing to turn people away at the door of the reception hall if they were not invited because she is personally telling not only family but also our friends that they are not allowed to bring their SO. I can't take part of something that is going to cause harm to people. It's not in my nature and it's not how I raise my girls. So thank you everyone once again for all your advice. I will 100% regret missing this wedding for the rest of my life, but I morally cannot stand for something like this.

Wait - if you live together AND have (or don't) have children together -- it's significant. Your bride is being a ((enter word of choice here)) and I think it's foul. I said no plus ones as well BUT that was the rule to what was a plus one versus a NAMED guest.

I CAN'T STAND when people get married and all of a sudden they get on a high horse and LIVE IN significants are not invited. While I'm trying to make myself a happy home, I'm not going to ruin others happy situations as I do.

Uh, don't you remember that until your wedding day, that you too are just that?? My goodness. You have every right to be upset.

Try talking to her with that logic. If she's still got a stick up her butt, you are going to have to decide what you do with it.

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You won't regret it as much as you would if you hadn't stood up for your family. Great decision on your part.

View Quoted Comment Good for you for having a tough conversation with her! It's not easy. It's a shame she isn't willing to look at it from another perspective, but at least you can know you put forth the effort and had the conversation.