Plus One?

Other people will probably say suck it up and be there for your friend, but if it were me I would remove myself from the wedding and not attend if my long term partner wasn’t invited.

I wouldn't go. She know you two are together. Is there a reason as to why she's not allowing plus ones?

That's a very personal decision, but I personally would never attend a wedding to celebrate someone's relationship if they clearly had no respect for mine. Hard pass.

Plus ones are for truly single guests to bring a random date. If someone is in a relationship (whether it's a month or a decade), that couple is invited as a social unit. Since money doesn't seem to be the issue, is it a capacity thing? Stepping out of a bridal party role is typically a friendship ending move. It sounds like she's being ridiculous, but I would just think about whether you want to cut ties with her or not. I would definitely call her out on her behavior, but that's just me.

I would still just be her bridesmaid anyway. I see how you're annoyed though because honestly you're moh and you should be able to have a guest/your partner attend to. I let my bridal party to have their partners or a plus one for sure!


Is she just restricting the guest list to married couples and single? Or does she not have space?

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Yeah she says its because of "money", which in the beginning I would 100% understand. However, I now know that they got a giant lump sum dropped on them and I know how much everything costs because she obviously tells me and money is not an issue. (To the point of her bring a decorator in to "redecorate" the church hall now). It just really hurts me.

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She has the space. She is restricting it to married, engaged and serious couples. Guess I answered my own question. Thanks ladies.

I personally would be Incredibly hurt, to the point I would question the friendship.


There are so many layers to this that I find upsetting (she lived with you two, knows you as a unit, etc), but being the MOH, she should cherish and respect your friendship enough to invite your partner. I firmly believe that if someone is close enough to be your MOH, their happiness on the day is also of most importance.

How is a 2 year long, living together relationship not serious??

I would never attend a wedding that my husband was not invited to as well. It is her right to not allow them or to not invite any one she doesn't want to invite but it is also my right to turn down the invite. I would remove myself from any future wedding planning and it is up to you to continue your friendship once the wedding is over.

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This. It is completely different if you're single and wanted to bring a random date. But you and your partner are clearly a serious item. I would honestly be so upset if my FH chose to be in a wedding where the couple clearly did not respect my relationship.

Before you do anything, I would try to have a heart to heart. Explain that your partner is not a plus one, you’re in a committed relationship and it is really important that they be invited. If she tells you to pound sand, then I personally may choose not to attend. But most of us have never planned a wedding before and may just not understand proper wedding etiquette. (I’m on these forums, in large part, to make sure I don’t commit some major wedding faux pas.) I’d like to think that if I did, my friends would give me the benefit of the doubt and address it with me. I know if my best friend said something was important to her, I’d honor that regardless of what stress I’m under or if I understood it. If she won’t, maybe she’s not as good a friend to you as you are to her.

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Yeah I'd definitely drop out. She doesn't respect you and only wants what she wants which if she's asking you to attend and knows you have a significant other and is intentionally not inviting them that's pure disrespect.

I would try to have a sit down conversation with her first. But as my own question has pointed out, it’s rude to not invite guests when they are in a relationship and clearly yours has been going on long enough to be considered serious.

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That really sucks, I'm sorry you're in that position. Have you asked your partner how he feels about it all?

Your boyfriend should have been invited by name, no “plus one” involved! I totally understand her not wanting plus ones, but you guys are in a serious relationship and this is not a plus one situation.

I would pull out of the situation, her intentionally not inviting your boyfriend means she does not value your relationship. My maid of honor (bff since high school) lives across the country and I’ve only met her long term boyfriend once and it was a no brainer that he is invited to our wedding. I guess it depends on the situation but that’s just my opinion

I'd pull out of a wedding the second I could use the term "bridezilla" to describe someone.

Her disrespect for others' relationships is a hard effin' pass for me.

I would absolutely say something. It's not her business to decide for you how serious your relationship is. ALso, she can't even use the "no room" excuse if shes inviting your extended family (no offense) but i would think MOH's boyfriend would trump MOH's aunt.

I'd have a conversation with her and ask why she is not extending invites to partners. I'd also explain why it hurts you that he isn't being included.


My now fiance was in his friend's wedding a couple years ago and I wasn't invited, and it definitely hurt my feelings. In their case though, they weren't giving any of their bridal party members a plus one because it would've added too many people. They wanted to be fair so they did no dates that weren't spouses. Making exceptions for certain people felt unfair to them.
I dont agree with her at all here, but maybe she has some reasoning she hasn't explained? I'd at least try to get an answer as to why she's doing it this way, before removing yourself from the wedding. Then go from there. Good luck!