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Just Said Yes October 2017

Plus one we don't approve of

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Lauren, on February 20, 2017 at 11:20 PM

Hi all, my FH and I have a bit of a predicament. My bridesman (a male cousin who is straight and I'm close with) has an on and off again relationship with a girl. My FH and I aren't fond of this girl. There aren't many people we ought right don't like, and she is one of them. Without going into too much detail, she just doesn't fit with us and we do not feel comfortable with her at our wedding as it would cause unnecessary drama. The majority of my family on this side do not like her either. Would it be inappropriate to ask my cousin not to bring her? Am I allowed to deny him a +1 to ensure she isn't there? I'd appreciate any input! We are absolutely torn over this.

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Expert April 2017
BridalBethany · on February 21, 2017 at 11:12 AM
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My 18 year old cousin saw that she didn't get a "+guest" on her invite and she actually asked me if she could bring her abusive & controlling boyfriend that she is on again off again with. I thought it was so rude to ask and it put me in a bad position. But I told her she could cuz I wanted to avoid family drama and I don't think he would do anything stupid that day
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Dedicated June 2017
jellybean1122 · on February 21, 2017 at 11:18 AM
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Etiquette aside, you obviously care enough about your cousin to ask him to be in your wedding party. If you were to tell him he couldn't bring his girl, no matter how on-again-off-again they are, he would likely be upset. With you. Extend the invitation to them as a couple. If they are "off" at the time of your wedding, she likely won't come anyway. Or if they are "on" they can decide if she'll come or not. But in order to maintain your relationship with your cousin, you've got to include her.
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