Plus One Rules?

View Quoted Comment Okay that’s your opinion, we can agree to disagree.

We are also having a smaller guest list (75). We invited couples by both names, even if we've never met the SO, and regardless of length of relationship. If they're with someone they refer to as a SO or partner regardless of time, we included them. We don't have many single guests at this point (most friends/family are in serious relationships or already married with kids) but because we have to limit our guest count, we didn't give a plus one to the single guests. You just have to do what works for your vision and budget. Hope this helps!

View Quoted Comment Yes it does. Thank you!

View Quoted Comment

It's not an opinion, it's etiquette, aka good manners. It would be rude and disrespectful to not invite a guest's SO simply because you have not met them yet. Whether you've met them is irrelevant.

View Quoted Comment I’m not going to argue back and forth. Have a great day.

I agree I’m only doing very specific plus 1s. We only want to have people that we are close with. We got the list up to 110 and then got it down to about 85. We just don’t want a bunch of fandoms at our wedding. I’d people rsvp with no because they can’t bring their flavor of the week then do be it.

Randoms***

Your wedding. Invite who you want. If people can’t come because they can’t bring the person of the moment who you don’t even know then that’s on them.

We invited all of the significant others of our guests. This included relationships as long as 4 years and as short as 6 months. There were a few people who we hadn't met before, because some of our close friends lived on the other side of the country and we simply hadn't seen them in a year. Who were we to say that our close friends couldn't bring their significant others just because we hadn't met them yet? Albeit, these were not local guests. We also did not allow anyone to bring random dates though (true plus ones).

One suggestion is to call your venue on their limits due to COVID. We originally had everyone with a plus one, but had to cut guest list significantly due to COVID. I had some really sweet relatives call me to let me know they were not planning on bringing a plus one anyway and if it helped our situation to know that, it would make room for someone. Hope this helps!!

Significant others aren’t really plus ones because couples are a social unit. Plus ones are dates/friends that single guests get to bring.



We aren’t allowing plus ones, with one exception. One guest is allowed to have one because she won’t really know anyone else and we want her to have a good time. I already know who she is bringing, which is nice but wasn’t necessary.
We are inviting all significant others because inviting one half of a couple is poor etiquette and I want our guests to be happy and enjoy themselves. I would not attend a wedding where I couldn’t bring my fiancé and felt that way from the start of our relationship. I’d be upset if an invite was only for me. Most people I know are the same way. It’s worse if the bride and/or groom has met the person. That leads to wondering why the significant other is so disliked that they can’t come.
The way we are doing it is that if a couple has formed before our invites go out, both parties are invited. After that, we probably won’t be able to make it happen.

All significant others need to be invited if they are dating at the time invitations go out, regardless if you've met them or not. Couples are a social unit. You can't invite someone to witness and honor your relationship whilst not respecting theirs.

Our guest list was the first thing we worked on because your guest list will determine your venue which is a huge portion of your budget. We limited +1's to couples who were married or engaged. Those who were dating received a +1 if we met their significant other AND they had been together for at least a year. However, we did have several couples who met the 1-year criteria, but because we decided on an open bar, those whose relationships were volatile we decided not to extend an invitation.

Plus ones are only for single guests; it isn't a plus one for someone that has an SO. If they have an SO, it would be considered rude not to invite them. If I was invited but my SO wasn't, I wouldn't go and I'd be offended because etiquette says they should be. You can save on the guest list by cutting plus ones for the truly single people.

View Quoted Comment Exactly this, and because you're simultaneously asking them to come celebrate your relationship while also disrespecting theirs.


As others have said- the only exception is if someone who is single and they get in a relationship after invites are sent or of they breakup after invites are sent you can vito their bringing a "placeholder" because it was to a specific name.