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Devoted September 2018

Plus One Questions

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MrsR314, on August 8, 2017 at 3:06 PM

Hello ladies and gents! I'm in the midst of coming up with my save the date list. But, I'm going back and forth with plus ones. My mother has told me how rude it is to not offer everyone coming singly a plus one. But me and my FH have talking about making a cut off. If the guest has a friend at the...

Hello ladies and gents!

I'm in the midst of coming up with my save the date list. But, I'm going back and forth with plus ones. My mother has told me how rude it is to not offer everyone coming singly a plus one. But me and my FH have talking about making a cut off. If the guest has a friend at the wedding and no relationship they can't bring someone. But if they either have a relationship over a certain length or have no other friends at the wedding we were offering a plus one.

I can't decide if this is actually rude or not. I understand that the whole point of weddings is to meet people BUT I'd rather have a distant cousin or friend take up that spot than give it to one of my friends fling at the time.

I don't know. Does anyone have experience with this?

Any advice helps please and thank you!

ALSO, how do I make it SUPER clear that there is no plus ones? I have a few friends that will just assume all weddings give plus ones.

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24 Comments

Devoted September 2018
MrsR314 · on August 8, 2017 at 4:01 PM
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It's really hard when thats the culture of that age crowd. you never know whats going on haha. Do you have a time cut off for when they need to be either 1 guest or with plus one? Ex: by invitations RSVPs or like whatever your venue allows?
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Dedicated January 2018
Almost Richardson<3 · on August 9, 2017 at 9:07 AM
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@Samantha - If they are not in a relationship by the time invitations go out, they don't get a plus one. If they start dating someone the day before invites go out, I'll send the invitation to them plus their significant other, by name.

We just don't want super-random people at our wedding. In my opinion, it's not a 'family BBQ' situation where you can just show up with a friend - it's an intimate and EXPENSIVE celebration, and I don't want to pay for a friend of yours to come and party all night.

Just to clarify, it's not as though the people not getting plus ones won't know anyone else at the wedding. There will be plenty of cousins around the same age.
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Master December 2016
Nancy · on August 9, 2017 at 9:43 AM
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I don't get why there's so much fuss about Plus One or SO? Just address the STD or Invite to John Smith and Guest or Ms. Wilson and Guest. If the guest brings a friend or their current Bed Buddy, who cares?
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Expert September 2017
Brooke · on August 9, 2017 at 9:49 AM
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This was a tough one for us as well but we ended up doing plus one's for those who were single and older - if they lived together or were in a relationship we also did the plus one. On our RSVP response cards we had "We reserved __ seats in your honor" and then there were three lines below for "Accepts with Pleasure", "Declines With Regret" and "Number of guests attending" so there was no question lol.
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