Plus one etiquette

I would ask. Your FH is deployed--it's not like he's just busy.

I had this same issue but my friend was completely understanding. She said I could bring my mom if I would like to which was the plan. But I ended up going alone. Make sure to talk with her first so they're prepared and it's not a surprise

I personally don't mind if someone brings a friend as their plus one, but I know from WW that many brides feel differently. I'd just ask the bride!

Honestly, I would ask, but preface it with "I totally understand if this isn't okay with you, and please don't feel pressured to say yes, but..."

We had one person ask to do this. I was a little taken aback, but he won't know anyone except for me and my father, so I happily told him to bring a friend.

I don't understand how people are on team "those in a relationship should both be invited by name" and team "only those invited by name can attend, no guest unless explicitly stated" ..... I certainly hope that anyone on my guest list in a situation similar to yours reaches out to me to let me know so that I can tell them of course they should bring a friend! Going to a wedding where you know no one but the bride and groom, who are too busy to spend more than 5 minutes with you that day, sounds miserable. My guests are on the list because I want them to attend and have fun, and if that means bringing a substitute to their named plus one I really hope they feel comfortable doing so or asking me so I can reassure them that it's 100% fine.

I think it would be fine to ask. My BM's hubby is going to deployed for our wedding and she asked if she could bring her mom or MIL because she has a baby. Even if she hadn't been in our bridal party and knew people I would still have been ok with it.

My friend is bringing her friend instead of her fiancé. She has a 3ish hour drive and I definitely wouldn't expect her to do that alone. She'll definitely have to stay in a hotel after so I had no problems saying yes since that means my friend will be there to celebrate

Depending on how close to the bride and groom you are I would just ask and see what they say, but not expect them to say yes.

I would ask as well. I like the suggestion to ask via text or email.

I had a guest whose significant other was going to be unable to attend. He didn't know anyone else at the wedding and asked if he could bring someone else. I honestly didn't mind. I'd rather my guests be comfortable and having fun.

Hi Everyone! Thanks for the feedback.

I was making my own list and agonizing over asking her because I am also struggling with plus ones on my list haha but I ended up asking her and she was 100% fine with it! I felt silly after lol.

My friend was in the exact same situation. She talked to the bride and the bride was really cool about it. My friend ended up bringing me and the bride told me how Happy she was that I came and that she was glad my friend was able to bring someone since her fiancé was deployed. I think it just depends on the person. Personally, I would be cool with it but I'm in the camp that I want all my guests to have the opportunity to bring someone.

This is a tough one. As a bride though, I would really hope that you would ask me if it's okay to bring someone else because I would absolutely say yes. I'd be pretty disappointed if you RSVP'd no assuming it wouldn't be okay. If you're enough of a friend to be coming to my wedding, I'd be willing to have a potential stranger accompany you if it means the difference of you coming or not.

It is kind of strange though that she didn't already address it if she knows he'll be away. My MOH's boyfriend lives and works overseas and they already told me he wouldn't be able to attend. I asked if she wanted to bring someone else instead and she said she would like to bring her roommate. When I sent her invitation, I addressed it to her and roommate (by name).

Definitely ask. I think it depends a lot on the size and type of wedding. I've had one person ask if she can bring her mom if her girlfriend can't or won't come. First of all her mom is extremely rude. Second, we are allowed to have no more than 40 people in attendance. There are family members and friends of our parents who we could not invite because of this and our parents have already stated substitutions of this sort would be very upsetting. There's a lot of politics that go into the guest list/planning in general that most guests are not privy to.

I would just note that on the RSVP card that 2 adults are coming. If she knows about your FH then she should be able to figure out that you are substituting.

We are allowing the invites to be transferred. We have a lot of military family and friends on both sides, we are just putting "and guest" on the invitations for those

I would just ask. i would not mind at all. i've already budgeted for two guests, and i want my guests to have a good time. if they are more comfortable bringing a friend instead of coming alone, i want to accommodate them.

Will you know others there? I would send her a note saying you'll be there but that your fiance will be deployed. Then you can add in something joke-y like "just seat me at the cool kids table so I have people to hang out with!" it will give her an opportunity to give you the green light to invite someone else if she wants but it won't feel obligatory either.

I am glad that you asked and it worked out. I think you did the right thing. Its two sides to this. You have the bride who has invited everyone she wanted so she doesnt mind you bringing a plus one since she has already budgeted for it. Then you have the brides who have had to cut their guestlist and have a whole list of people who could fill your FH spot if he cant make it.