Plus-one etiquette?

I wouldn't stress out about your name not being on the save the date. Save the dates are fairly informal and some people aren't aware of the ettiquette surrounding who is a social unit VS who would get a plus one (Some people think only married or enaged couples would fall into the mr. and ms. category)

Basically TLR: The only formal piece of stationary you need to worry about is the invitation, since the invitation is the formal way of saying who is or isnt invited.

It's just a save the date, not an invitation. You don't know that you aren't invited yet

You two don't live together so she probably only sent the Save The Date to his address. Most people don't put +1 on a Save The Date, I'd assume if she knows about you she'll put a plus one on the invite or address it to you as well (if she knows your full name).

If I were her, I would wait to add SOs till the invites. Relationships change, and you are stuck with having to invite someone.

Most etiquette books say you must invite spouse, fiancé of a guest, and some would extend to long term or live in partner. Your BF can choose not to go.

See I really don't understand why people get upset over this. I hate the acronym std, it reminds me of an std. and sometimes that's what wedding drama is

Why would either of you even travel to a wedding of someone your boyfriend has met "a couple times?"

STD may just not have a plus one on it. Hold out for the invitations

This is why save the dates SHOULD always include plus ones, it would clear up any confusion where a potential attendee is not listed on the save the date. That said, yeah, because not everyone does that, you should probably wait until the invitation comes.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this sounds suspicious for some reason. How close were your FH and Sarah? Were they ever a couple or just friends/acquaintances from college or neighborhood? There's something amiss because your FH should want to travel with you to this wedding and want you to be a part of his social gatherings. If your friends from the past invited you to go away, you'd invite your FH first thing. You need to clear things up with FH and tell him that you'd be honored to meet his friends and share this event with him and you'd both have a great time together. He should want you there, not make an excuse that there will be a lot of guests. Let him find out by asking them if he could bring you, HIS FIANCE ("HELLO!") to this wedding.

Will&Tiara - she is not his fiancée. They aren't engaged.

In any case, I think a lot of these responses are missing the fact that they are in a *relationship*. She is not a "guest" or a "plus one". She should have been invited by name on the STD and the invitation as well when they are sent. OP, I would have your boyfriend clarify with the bride about whether you're invited for planning purposes (booking flights, etc.).

I'd also recommend waiting for the invitation before assuming you're not invited. We didn't address our save the dates to include plus ones, but did so on the invitations.