Plus-one etiquette?

Sorry, it cut off my post. Here is the second part to my post:

But, Sarah had asked BF's best friend a few times already when BF and I are going to 'get engaged', so I'd assume she knows that my boyfriend and I are serious?

I don't know, maybe I'm just ranting. But I'm feeling hurt that BF doesn't get a plus one to a wedding that he has to travel for, and especially since Sarah seems to understand that my boyfriend and I are in a serious relationship.

Should I just get over it or have BF ask his best friend to ask Sarah about it, since BFF and Sarah are really close?

Save the dates do not always indicate plus ones. Wait until the invitations are sent to get upset. It is rude to invite him but not you, but it is really up to him whether he would want to attend without you.

So he is your "boyfriend" not "Fiance"? I agree with Olivia why would you want to attend if she's not prominent in your life? Although it isn't good etiquette invite just your boyfriend and not you, at the end of the day he should decide whether he attends with or without you.

I'm lost. Use names, fake ones if you have to. Not my BF, BFF, best friend, and Sarah.

STD's often don't indicate plus ones. Wait for the invitation. If your BF is talking with the bride or groom any time between now and then, he can casually raise the subject in the context of needing to make travel plans.

If your BF isn't close enough to the bride or groom to talk to them directly, rather than go through a friend, you should probably reconsider attending this wedding at all.

I didn't indicate who got a plus one for STD. Wait until the invites are sent...

Wait until the actual invitation comes.

Okay...as Alex's SO, the two of you are a social unit. This means the two of you get invited to events together, both of you by name. You are not his plus one. The STD he received for Sarah's wedding should have been addressed to both of you.

Plus ones are for truly single guests and it's up to the couple getting married whether they want to give their guests plus ones. Yes, sometimes when STDs go out to a single guest (someone who is not in a relationship of any length) it may be addressed only to the single guest and not include the magic words "and guest," indicating that he or she may bring a plus one. Often, the "and guest" will only be added to the envelope of the official invitation closer to the wedding.

Alex is in a relationship. You shouldn't be his plus one. You should be invited by name on the same invitation. I suppose there's a chance that Sarah has her etiquette on SOs and plus ones jumbled up and either intends to address Alex's wedding invitation to both Alex and you by name, or intends to clarify that Alex is invited with a plus one (though inviting you as his plus one when she knows you exist and could easily get your name is still rude). But, right now Alex's STD to Sarah's wedding indicates that he is invited and his girlfriend (you) are not.

It's disrespectful to your relationship for you both not to be invited as a couple. For that reason, Alex should decline this invite when the formal wedding invitation arrives. Sarah is rude for not inviting you and Alex attending this wedding without you (if you're not invited) would be telling her that what she's done is okay. It's not okay.

Now, Alex could attempt to clarify whether or not you are actually invited by contacting Sarah, but I'm not sure I'd bother. It sounds like your boyfriend and Sarah are acquaintances, not friends, of they've only met a few times, and traveling across four states to attend Sarah's wedding sounds like way too much for an acquaintance. But, if your boyfriend really wants to attend this wedding, then he should probably contact Sarah and say something along the lines of "We're considering travel options and figuring out whether or not we'll be able to make the trip for your wedding. I noticed Laura's name wasn't on the STD, is this a mistake?" Ordinarily I'd say that wedding guests shouldn't try to add extra guests (plus ones or children) if their invitations did not indicate they could bring one, but this is a case where half of a social unit was left off. Either Sarah will confirm you are both invited, will confirm he is the only one invited, or she'll realize it was a mistake to have excluded you from her guest list and will take this opportunity to respond as though you were invited all along. If it is clarified that you're both invited, make plans to go if that what you want to do. If you find out that you're not invited, then Alex should reconsider whether he wants to attend. Remember, him attending a wedding that his it her half is not invited to sends the message to the couple that it was okay that they disrespected your relationship.

I sent out STD's, but I only sent them out to the one person even if they had a partner that they were serious with. It wasn't me being rude, it was just that they were not married yet. If you don't hear from your boyfriend that he got a plus one on the actual invitation, I would ask him about it, though I wouldn't push the subject due to it not being in his control really.

In my opinion, I think that if you have been with someone for at least 6 months you can bring them to a wedding without any issues.

I sent out my STDs and did not include plus ones. Wait until the invitation comes.

Just don't go if neither of you know bride/groom that well and don't care? It is rude if she doesn't invite you, but neither of you will be missed at a 400-500 person wedding. I would skip

I would also skip, if they are inviting 400-500 ppl they could afford a plus 1 somewhere in there

As PP have said - wait and see how the invitation is addressed. STDs do not always indicate plus ones/guests. I don't think I addressed mine to include them.

I didn't include plus ones on STDs, I did try to include people I knew were in relationships, but I'm sure some of them just got addressed to one of them (mostly on FH's list because he decided to tell me as I was maili by them). When invitations went out, we did our best to invite them by name because we weren't giving plus ones to truly single people outside of the bridal party with a few key exceptions. I agree, wait until invites go out to be upset or not.

Maybe it was a mistake? I was so overwhelmed with invitations that I sent a few without giving them a plus one, lol . It was an honest mistake, though. The difference here is that they straight up asked me ( they're my close friends, so I would expect them to be up-front with me, as I would be with them!) of course, I was able to fix that VERBALLY. I told them that I was sorry for my mistake and that they are welcome to bring a plus one. Simple.

@bluehenbride they're not engaged right now and have been broken up in the past. It would be rude to exclude her on the actual invitation but clearly the bride has the boyfriend on her guest list. I only had married couples/long term relationships on my STD. If you put a guest the STD then you are obligated to give a plus one even if he's not in a relationship when the invitations go out.

Wait, what? I literally could not follow wth the question is.

Def wait for the invite.

I sent my pre-wedding invitations to the person I knew, not to the person & guest. The invite listed the person & guest.

OP - just to be clear I'm not questioning your relationship! I just understand why the bride would not write a guest on the STD :-)