I have decided that any post I make on here is going to be LONG haha so I am thankful to anyone who chimes in!
As we begin planning/our vision for our day comes together, I am struggling with what to do for if we Have to allow dates to "bridal party"....I put that in quotes because we are having a small ceremony and while we are inviting super close best friends to in a way be "attendants" or "witnesses" for us, we don't want more people standing up in front at the alter than there are sitting in the chairs to watch Lol! So they will not have to buy certain things or any of that, we just want them to come along!
We will be having a ceremony on a private mountain property, 30 mins drive in a truck from the house/"venue", with a "wedding weekend" feel to it, with Just our close friends staying in the rooms of the house in order to alleviate cost of the travel --- it makes the accommodations part free for them (parents and other close relatives are staying at other places nearby because they have the means to and are happy to pay for a mini vacation) At the house on the property, we just want to have a good time/party/go enjoy the scenery and activities in the days before the ceremony...and then since our parents or few older relatives attending do not party or drink, we will be having dinner with all guests the night of in town, then going back to the house for a bonfire/house party...(we have already lived together several years so are not worried about going off to a hotel or anything but more just want our friends to have a good time celebrating that night!)
This is of course all a tentative plan. But as far as wanting to use this house for sleeping arrangements, And thinking about logistics for going to get ready and not leaving anyone awkwardly waiting around when you are Really in the middle of No where....I am wary of what to do for plus ones....
So far, the breakdown of this "non bridal party, party" members attending/their situations includes:
My FH's best friend and his wife who is a good local friend of mine too
My FH's single (and not interested in having a date at all) college roommate who is like a brother to both of us at this point
My younger sister who has a new boyfriend that we have met once (some issues I see here are she would be helping me with a lot, she is MOH, we also want it to be us staying in a room together the night before to have that last family/sister time, so he would need to stay in his own room since he doesn't know anyone else, or stay offsite alone)
My best friend from high school who I still talk to everyday and is super excited about being involved, but who hasn't met my FH yet, and who is married but I have only met her husband at their wedding, (which was a traditional one that I went to, single!)
My best friend from being college roommates/since, who has been single for years, dates around a lot, and currently moved to a different state so whenever she does date people I never meet them...she does frequently travel alone though if that informs anything!
An old family friend/neighbor from childhood who is special to my family, will know all of the family well, who invited my FH and I to her wedding that was a traditional one, but that was again, also the only time we have met her husband.
If my best friend has been willing to go on girls trips throughout the years, do you think she would be willing to leave her husband behind for 3-4 days and go to my wedding solo? Will my single friend feel bummed without a date there if everyone else does have their husband? Since this is not a typical reception, I just sort of think you aren't having the parts of a wedding where you would be missing out if you don't have a date...such as having someone to dance with? To us, we do want to avoid just filling "spots" with random people when we initially set out to do this ceremony this way so that we weren't having an intimate moment in front of people that could care less/aren't a part of us or our everyday lives....We are trying to find the balance of having the right people there to make it fun and stress-free, and Also not offended extended family that might have been expecting an invite or other friends that may not be able to attend.
My solution for the married couples to not split them up with the way the rooms are, would be to rent a separate cabin nearby so they could have rooms to themselves, but I feel like it then takes away from some of the "girl time" and still leaves the SO's waiting around all day when we go into town to get HMU done etc...because my FH is a pretty reserved guy and is just having his 2 guys come who are all best friends....I don't think he would be too happy about having to include potentially up to 4 guys he barely knows in his daytime plans!
I think to me, destination wedding should include everyone that comes into town as much as possible....but what do you do when you also want it to be intimate and only be people that you can truly laugh&cry with throughout the special day?
I AM AN OVERTHINKER! But Happy to hear Any comments 
