Please help

I think we need a lot more background in order to offer advice. Mainly: why? Was there a specific incident? How did you find out?

Well we dont have alot of background information but I would say it really doesnt matter if he likes her or not as long as he conducts himself as respectful towards her. Hes not marrying her, he is marrying you so as long as he shows that he loves and respects you enough to be polite and respectful towards her then it shouldn't be a problem. That also should apply to your mom/family. As long as they are treating him with respect as well. I think it should definitely warrant a conversation to get to the root of it and just ask him why he feels the way he feels. And then go from there. Ask him will family gatherings/holidays be a problem for him to be around your mom and talk about ways to make him feel more comfortable as well so he doesnt think that you are just targeting him. You want to make your FH feel comfortable about the situation while trying to balance family life. Good luck!

I found out that this is pretty common. I dont like my FH parents- very rude, opinionated and make me uncomfortable. I tolerate them and limit my exposure around holidays. FH feels the same way. To me this can be normal. Still ask him why he feels that way. When he marries you, he is marrying into your family. So learning how to tolerate your mom and your mom tolerating him will be helpful.

You know sometimes relationships like that can take time to develop. I didn’t initially like my in laws either when my husband and I were dating but gradually I developed a very loving relationship. It was because I didn’t know them much before

You spouse need not like your parents, ever, and your parents need not like your spouse, ever. Don't count on that changing over time. Sometimes it does, often it does not. Both sides need to be able to be polite and respectful of the other, to not block a parent child relationship. But they may set a reasonable but low number of times they will visit in a year, with child only visiting Mom or Dad or Mom and Dad a reasonable number of times. What you must be in agreement about is frequency of visits. If you see you and hubby visiting your parents twice a month, that may be way over spouse's tolerance level ( and parents'.) If you think a holiday, parents birthdays, and 2-3 other occasions a year max, with you visiting at least once a month on your own, you may find things workable. If you like to visit 1-2 times a week, you may want to rethink things. If is one thing to be polite to someone you really dislike once every two months. Every time you turn around, no. It is a great help to live hours apart, with infrequent planned visits. Hard to be in the same area. Talk about frequency, distance, whether he will expect you to observe holidays in your own home, visit family on the holiday, visit close to but not on the holidays. And what about his family, same questions.
Often the make or break thing is not a spouse disliking parents. That is tolerable. But things break apart when someone sees their parents and the family they come from, as their primary social life. Rather that their spouse. Both of you need to talk, and listen. Think, 30 years of this.

Why not??? That's so disappointing....more details!

My fiancé and my sister don’t like each other and I’ve pretty much said that they don’t have to like each other but at least be civil. Once we start having kids, I don’t need that toxic around. I pretty much said I won’t have a relationship with my sister if she doesn’t stop. He’s your man, all that matters. Your mom doesn’t have to like him but she can be civil and vice versa.

For a long time the relationship between my MIL and I was a complete challenge and battle. I felt like she was always over stepping her boundaries and she probably felt l was disrespectful. I had to step back and take a second look at her. I was able to decipher it is her intentions that count not necessarily her actions. Once I did that I was more receptive to her and she to me our relationship improved greatly. And while she still does things I don’t like I’m easier on her because I realize her intentions were good. Hopefully you can get your Fiancé to have a change of heart about disliking her it will trickle over to her and she will begin to treat him in ways that makes her like able to him.

I mean not everyone gets along. Without any other details, I would say as long as they’re both respectful each other it should be fine. I would listen to his feelings and if he feels he should limit his time with her I would be supportive of that.

As long as your FH is respectful of your mother and can be polite when she is around it's not a huge problem. My FH isn't a huge fan of my mom (she is the polar opposite of his mom) but he is kind, respectful and polite when she is around. You do not need to be best friends with your parents or you In-Laws.

Unless he is blatantly rude to your mother, then why does it matter? Not everyone has to like everyone else. He just needs to be respectful to her. You don't really need to do anything.

I don’t like my fiancé’s mother. She’s very manipulative and belittles him constantly but it’s how he grew up and he just accepts that she is the way she is. My job isn’t to like his mom and his job isn’t to like mine. His job is to be respectful of my wishes on who I want to continue to stay in my life such as my parents and vice versa. My job is to love and like HIM and support his relationships with others even if I am not fond of them. And he does the same for me. It’s hard but it’s not his obligation to like your mother as long as he loves you enough to tolerate her and be respectful.

View Quoted Comment Because I live with her and my dad still and they don’t want me going out because of the coronavirus

View Quoted Comment

So is it that he doesn't like her or he's just mad at her for the inconvenience?

This is not catastrophic or uncommon. The fact that he seems to have hidden his feelings for a while is a good sign, it means that he's been courteous towards her, which is all you can ask. I don't like my FMIL. I'm kind and courteous to her. She does not always return the favor, but I remind myself that I'm doing it for my fiance, not for her. If he is not treating your family with respect, then that's another matter entirely, but you won't always love or like each other's friends or family and that's okay. It's not okay if he treats them poorly or tries to keep you from them, but if he just doesn't like them, that's not something he can control.

View Quoted Comment No he doesn’t like her at all

View Quoted Comment

Has he told you why he doesn't like her? If it's not because of the quarantine then what's the real reason behind his disliking your mother? Knowing why can help everyone give you proper advice on how to deal with it, but I will say that he should always be courteous no matter what & never attempt to turn you against her (mom should be this way as well). Speaking of, how does your mom feel about him?

View Quoted Comment He says my mom is to controlling because she doesn’t want me to do stuff that I don’t want to do like moving with him and his mom in a area I don’t like and I want to get a house

View Quoted Comment If you don’t want to do those things either, why does he dislike your mom? Have you guys discussed how you’re both feeling about living together? Is he not seeing your opinion as your own? Have you tried couples counseling?

View Quoted Comment My mom loves him she doesn’t like what’s going on with us right now because he is being really mean to me