Please help me decide what color dress MOB and MOG should wear!!

I understand wanting colors to flow and look great in pictures. As a MOG I am experiencing some major issues with the colors the "Bride" has chosen for the MOB & MOG to pick from. It has always been my understanding that the MOB chooses her dress color & style first and then the MOG gets to choose hers. As the MOG and with my skin tone Champagne/Gold or Dusty Rose being the two colors she has chosen. I was in tears as neither of these two colors are flattering on me at all. I am willing to wear colors that do not clash and will look great in photos. I understand where they want it to flow, BUT I have NEVER heard of the bride choosing for the moms. SO, one of the ISSUES I have is , I was also given an ultimatum by her, if I do not wear one of the colors she has chosen and if the shade of the color chosen (ex dusty rose) is not approved by her then I will be removed from the bridal party, be put on the guest list as well as I will not be allowed to have a mother son dance!! As you can imagine, this is extremely upsetting to me. I understand it is "her day" .. I am not trying to cause an issue. But it is also my sons day! And I should have a say in what I am comfortable wearing to my sons special day.. Everyone is saying just pick a dress, its her day.. its a few hours.. I personally do not feel I should be forced to wear something I am not comfortable nor feel confident and happy wearing to my sons wedding, my 1st born is getting married, I should care about what I look like and feel comfortable in wearing. Nonetheless I shouldn't be removed and have a mother son dance taken away from me as his mother but she is also taking something away from my son, her new husband. I would welcome any input from others looking from an outsiders point of view.

I definitely am feeling many feelings about this, anger, hurt, disrespected, manipulation, scolded.. and many more emotions.

Thoughts?