Please confirm that this is not appropriate..

Tell her that asking for gift cards is just like asking for cash, which is seen as incredibly rude and you just don't feel comfortable doing that.

Yeah definitely don't do the little card in the invites. People can either get you gifts off your Macy's registry or give you cash through their own choosing.

Yeah the idea that all the kitchen stuff and linens are for you would kind of irk me. I mean, FH still sleeps on sheets and uses towels.

Anyway, no gift cards. Just tell her people can stick to the registry or give cash if they really want.

Thanks for the input! I see her this weekend since I'm helping take care of her after her surgery so I'll mention it to her then!

I'm not 100% on this, but I think Home Depot has a registry. You obviously don't have to do that, but it might get her off your back while getting you stuff you need for the new house (paint, fixtures, tools, etc.)

@alwagsms. Okay I'll look into it! We spent all summer renovating every room inside so it's beautiful but the outside is an ugly brick house so I plan on changing that as well as landscaping. So basically I'd need to register for flowers/mulch hahaha. I'm going to tell her it's not appropriate and if we happen to receive cash then we will use it towards the outside of the home.

Home Depot and Lowes have registries. You can register there, and people can decide.

@jessiejv thanks for confirming that it's actually a thing! I've never heard of them having one!

It sounds like she has good intentions. We'd love to get lowe's or home depot giftcards, but I wouldn't put it anywhere. Maybe suggest she can tell some people if she wants?

Our friends had that in their registry and I don't think anyone got offended. Wouldn't you rather get things you need instead of the crockpot you don't want. It's your day. People are happy to celebrate regardless. The way I look at it is if people are getting mad because I registered at more than one place or would prefer gift cards or honey fund or whatever, they probably shouldn't be at the wedding anyway.

@sarah w no I don't feel like that. I don't want a new crock pot but we definitely need one. Like yeah at the end of the day who wouldn't love senseless crap but we have things we actually could use/need. Redoing the outside of my house which is completely fine is a luxury. And something we should pay for ourselves.

AlwaysMs and Savanah, last I checked Home Depot and Lowes do have "wish lists" but they're store-specific. So if most of your guests are local and can go to THAT store it could work out, otherwise I don't think the list is accessible online.

I got invited to a shower last year (a 'bring everything unwrapped at the request of the bride' one to boot) that said Home Depot Gift Cards Welcome! at the bottom. I know it's not intended to, but it comes off so ungrateful and presumptive.

Sarah - The "It's your day" mentality is no excuse to be rude.

Thanks for making me aware of that holly!

@holly home depot has store specific wish lists, but Lowe's does offer registry services now!

@sarah it always bothers me when people say "well if they get offended they shouldn't be there!" So if your nearest and dearest are following proper etiquette and do find it rude, you don't want them around? Yes, we don't all get offended by the same things, but that doesn't mean proper etiquette shouldn't be followed.

About a year ago I went to a shower and they asked for home improvement gift cards and had a small registry somewhere else. I didn't think twice about it being poor etiquette. I ended up getting them a gift card.

I honestly think asking for home improvement gift cards is just like registering for new sheets . What's the difference between upgrading your pots and pans and linens or upgrading your house by purchasing new floors or paint with gift cards? I don't think you should ask for cash or do a honey fund but gift cards for home improvement are fine in my book.

Asking for a gift card IS asking for cash.

Also if she's throwing the shower why do you need to provide her "a little card"? Haha this seems backwards to me too.

@livefree&bride she thinks that they might have something at the store like how babies r us gives you a card that says "registered at babies r us" so she thinks they have them or something Idk lol. I ordered and printed the invitations and have been writing out the envelopes for her. I figure she's throwing it and paying for it and I just want to help with little things if I can because it's such a nice gesture and she's busy running a business so I try to take some of the load off with little things! She's also having surgery tomorrow and is not allowed to walk pretty much up until my shower so she's had a lot of preparing to do to keep her business running smoothly and she won't be able to go anywhere for a couple months