Plated or buffet?

When I think black tie, I think plated. We are choosing a buffet because it's exponentially cheaper, but if I had a choice, I'd pick plated for sure. However, if it means that much to him and you've decided most things, it would be nice to let him pick. FH doesn't give a crap about anything, so when he says he has a preference on something, I really think about if we could make it work. Outside of playing Bubble Butt as he goes down the aisle. That's a tough one to compromise on lol

I don't really think it clashes with the theme, and if your fiance is right and he hasn't gotten to decide much, I'd probably let him have this one like you said.

It may not be your ideal thing, but I’d give him this one.

You can have a nice formal black tie event and it still be buffet style. My wedding will be buffet which I love. This gives people the opportunity to pick especially when I’m a picky person my self. Let him pick as you will get he upper hand and most things. The food menu is all my fiancé unless I happen to think something is just nasty. I have servers which will help keep the event very eloquent.

My FH hasn't had many opinions on things and I know if he said there was something he really cared about, that would make me inclined to give in and do what he wanted...within in reason of course!

I agree, I do think plated with Great Gatsby but I also don't think that doing stations would be a big deal. I personally think its very rare to get good plated food at a wedding and thus we are doing stations. What kind of food does he want to serve?

I'm a BIG proponent of plated -- especially for a more formal wedding. However, if this is the only thing FH really wants, I'd do a buffet. But, with the Gatsby theme, I'd expect the buffet to be over-the-top opulent, which will likely be pretty expensive. The cost of doing a lavish buffet might bring FH around on a plated entree.

If this is the one thing your FH wants, go with his idea of Buffet!

Do stations! It's like a jazzed up buffet. Also easier for planning since it doesnt matter what protein people are getting.

It kind of depends. For your vibe I would definitely recommended plated! We wanted plated, but ended up doing a custom menu and had so many choices we could only do buffet. But we are having less than 70 people, so I think it will be fine, and is a more laid back day time vibe.

If this is the only thing that he has really wanted, then I would go with it. I don't think that it would go against your theme, and it would make him happy.

I have attended plenty of formal/ black tie events (weddings and other events) and most have gone away from plated. They typically have a carb station and craving/protein and vegetable station. Plated is so hard to do well and taste decent. That food has been sitting in a hot box for hours, or even precooked an entire day ahead! (Husband is a chef) And your tasting is a poor example of what you get day of because it is really easy to cook something up for 2 people vs 200. If I never see a rubbery chicken breast and limp asparagus on a formal dinner plate I'll be so happy.

You can do themed food stations with small plates. This will help your guests move around and mingle. This gives you lots of choices that will help meet food allergies and preferences. Think of carving stations with chefs, tiered platters, etc. Class it up with lots of nice linens and glassware. It is always nice to not be stuck with the chicken you picked 3 months ago as a guest when the steak looks so much better. This gives your guests more choices. Your guest will be served faster and less hangry. Helps with the drinking too if they are fed faster. You and your groom can graze while you mingle with your guests and not miss out too. It also helps your fiancee feel included in a celebration that is also his.

View Quoted Comment Agree!! Stations will still have that feel that he wants with the glamour aspect you're looking for!

Have you considered stations? It may be a nice compromise for you both. The display is a little more artistic and elegant, which would lend to the Gatsby theme, and there would be plentiful food for your guests to select as they choose which I imagine would please your partner. Best of luck!

What's his reasoning for it? Buffets are sometimes nice because they're sometimes cheaper and there's a selection of food, but any wedding I've gone to that had a buffet, everyone has had to wait in line for a really long time to get dinner. Kind of kills the atmosphere when everyone is lining up in the ballroom with a plate. By the time some people get their food, the ones who got theirs first are often done already!

I’d say for a Gatsby theme, plated. Any chance he’d like a dessert bar and could choose those items? But honestly, it does feel good when both people get a say in their wedding so stations sound like a nice compromise and if he really really wants the buffet, making him happy with his wish will make for a happy wedding. ❤️

We are doing buffet because it is cheaper and people can take what they like.

Oh!! Will there be food during cocktail hour?? If there’s an appetizer table or two could you let him choose those items? It’s an appetizer buffet! 😂

We did stations which is a fancy buffet. Pasta and meat carving station. Side dishes were set up next to carving station for guest to get on their own. We also had salad and bread preset at table. Evening was very elegant. Cost was $100 more compared to doing plated but less food wasted due to guest being able to fix own plate. We have recieved amazing reviews from our guest on food and the evening overall.

A black tie wedding calls for a plated multi course meal. This is part of basic black tie etiquette. Hosting a black tie wedding isn’t just about how you expect your guests to dress, but more importantly about the level of service you’re providing. If you’re having a buffet it is not a black tie event.