Planning my sisters bachlorette

Contact each person individually (whether my phone,, text, or email is up you) to ask about budget. It is always a good idea to check what people can afford before scheduling activities.

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I'm probably overthinking this but how would you word that? I don't know why I feel like it's awkward to ask people about money haha

View Quoted Comment I would say something like "hey, I'm starting to think of some ideas for [bride's name], and I wanted to reach out and see if you had any specific ideas that may fun. I also wanted to check in with you about a specific budget you'd be comfortable with, as I want to be respectful of everyone's financial situations when planning." Or something to that effect. That way you're explaining why you're asking about budget and also opening the door for them to give an opinion on what to do, so you aren't just asking about money.

It's never weird to ask about budgets. It's actually recommended. But make sure they specify if it's total or just for the activities and food. Like Hannah recommended, ask them individually. You can always group text to see what everyone would be interested in doing.

I agree you should definitely ask upfront about budget. That said, I think it goes better if you give some context too, like stating the location, activity ideas, meals out, and estimate pricing.
My MOH sent an email saying that we booked a house and it would be within $250-400 a person depending on attendee count, plus another ~$100 in activities and house snacks, and the girls would cover their personal meals out at restaurants. It can be really hard to answer a budget request without context (ie. I may spend $1000 on a weekend out of town, but would have a much lower budget for a single night out). Also make sure you include costs for decorations/shirts IF you are hoping to have financial help on those! And remember, as awkward as you feel talking about money now, it will be SO MUCH worse if there are disagreements after you’re on the hook for the cost.

Thanks all this is super helpful - it's honestly not going to be super expensive but i still want to be super respectful cause even eating out 4-5x and 3 activities can add up.

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This is super super helpful - i like the idea of giving them context - makes me feel way better than just saying whats the budget haha.

I think starting the conversation and asking for an anonymous poll to see everyone’s budget is a fantastic idea! There’s a couple of apps or websites that allow you to do it. You could give them 3 price ranges and go with the one most people vote for.


After that, I would plan with the bride and leave the rest of the girls out of the planning process entirely to avoid a too many cooks in the kitchen situation that happens so often. Once you nail down the plans, you can send an invitation or an email letting everyone know the details.

For my friend’s bach, her sister, the MOH, sent a Google form asking people’s budgets, travel preferences, activity preferences and then planned a trip that aligned with what everyone had replied. There was a section to make suggestions and the location ended up being where I suggested! The MOH handled all of the planning though. It wasn’t a great weekend, as travel details aren’t her strength, but I know everyone felt heard and not put out at all.

In my opinion, asking the girls simply to tell you their thoughts or what their budgets are is a bit too broad and you will likely get a range of responses which won't assist you.

What I would recommend is brainstorm 2 ideas (maybe 3) for different bachelorettes, and estimate what it would cost per person for both. Then, reach out to the girls individually and present it to them as:

"We are currently deciding between 2/3 options for NAME's bachelorette party, option A would be .... at an estimated cost of $X per person, whereas option B would be ... at an estimated cost of $Y per person. If you could kindly let us know if either of these suit you and if they'd be within your reasonable budget - just trying to plan ahead so we can ensure everyone is happy and comfortable with the plans before anything is booked."

Also, to add, I think there are certain costs that it’s cool to pass onto guests and some that aren’t. Like I wouldn’t be thrilled about paying a certain amount of money for house booze and snacks that I had zero input on—I’d prefer being asked to bring 1-2 bottles of alcohol and an app to share. That helps girls feel more in ownership of their budget, as well as guaranteeing there’d be things they want. I also don’t think it’s cool to ask people to chip in for decor or similar “extras”.


In your case, I’d list specific activities you’re thinking of in a poll with prices and ask guests to check off whether they’re okay or not okay with the cost.

I'd recommend speaking with the bride first to get a sense of the types of activities she likes and then create 1-3 options with different budgets for the girls to vote. You could also include date options in the same communication. Google survey is pretty easy to use and free. If you are comfortable, give the girls a deadline to respond so you are not waiting indefinitely.


Once you select the activities and dates, Id communicate to everyone so they know what they are signing up for and I personally think it's a good idea to try to get a non refundable deposit upfront from people who are committed to come. Can be a percentage of the total budget. This will help you offset expenses that you have to pay upfront and also prevent people from being wishy washy/flaky backing out at the last minute and other girls picking up the tab.
I'm also a fan of delegation if u can. If someone has a great idea or wants to help, let her! Just make sure whatever she ends up doing, you are in the loop.

Use the BACH app! This will solve all your needs for sure!