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Arlene
Devoted March 2020

Planning is no longer fun

Arlene, on July 29, 2019 at 3:27 PM

Posted in Planning 33

Bear with me.. I use to be VERY excited in wedding planning. I use to dream of doing stuff with my MOH or BMs but now I just feel let down and I finally had to let it out. Out of my huge bridal party I only have 2 local my JR BM and my MOH, my jr BM is only 14. My MOH got pregnant and just had her...

Bear with me..

I use to be VERY excited in wedding planning. I use to dream of doing stuff with my MOH or BMs but now I just feel let down and I finally had to let it out. Out of my huge bridal party I only have 2 local my JR BM and my MOH, my jr BM is only 14. My MOH got pregnant and just had her baby and before and after and during pregnancy has not been very involved which is fine. People have lives I do not expect anything. The rest of my BMs are out of county or up state so it is hard to see them unless get togethers. My FH Best Man lives 1.5 hour away but always makes sure he is set up and taken care of, my MOH and I have yet to talk about anything and it is my best friend, Different dynamics, she has canceled on me many times and that is okay.

However I am sad, I should be excited to go to my 2nd dress shopping but I am not. MOH cannot come and hasn't been able to do anything and that is fine my JR BM and her mom were going to come but they had a family emergency so my out of state BM and out of county ones are going to try and come but I said it was fine no need to waste money to come down and travel. I do not mind taking my mom only but I did want someone elses opinion who is more modernized as my mother is elder. I feel I have been doing this on my own with me and my FH and I just feel on my end it is kind of embarrassing to ask others if they can come with me to look at dresses again. I honestly am over the planning I am over it completely and just want to marry my best friend and move forward in life. I am not asking anyone to pay for anything I am not asking anyone for help, just to come with me to try dresses but it seems impossible. I now regret and wish we did something smaller or a DW. My mother is ill and my dream was to have her walk with me and my dad down the aisle and I will do that. But the planning part is making very sad and I had to express it.. I have had a few friends offer to come but same time I feel horrible even more because they aren't in the bridal party so I just feel weird. I think I wish my MOH was more involved or I had my BMs closer rather than being 3-6 hours away.. If you got this far in reading..thank you lol any advice or encouraging tips are greatly appreciated.

33 Comments

  • Christine
    Dedicated April 2020
    Christine ·
    • Flag
    I am right there with you. Of course I didnt want a wedding ceremony. I just wanted to go elope or go to the court house and we could have a reception afterwards but he would not go for that at all. The wedding planning is very stressful and pricey . I haven't asked for help though. My bridesmaids are my daughters and his groomsmen are my sons which are all kids so they cant really help much . All I want is to marry the live of my life , my best friend and a this wedding stuff doesnt matter to me !
    • Reply
  • Shannon
    Beginner August 2019
    Shannon ·
    • Flag

    I so wish I had advice here but I feel it 100% this has been my wedding all the way. My best friend was my MOH but we had a huge blow out and didn't reconnect tell 6months later and I had let my sister be the MOH, that however really back fired and I should of known better. She was there always when my bestie was my MOH but did a 360 on me when I asked her to do it. Needless to say, my daughter will be standing next to me now((should of done this in the first place)) cause my sister hates me((normal family drama there, happens every year)) My BM's work, I am a stay at home mom, so it makes it hard for them to meet up with me. I got lucky and one when gown shopping with me, more like she dragged me cause I didn't want to lol, but that's as far as it has gone. I've done all the planning, prepping, diy stuff, all on my own. My excitement left months ago and I ended up super procrastinating up until a month ago(( I now have two weeks to finish everything)) cause I had no motivation to do it on my own. Doesn't help that I am raising 5 kids in the process of it all and my FH works swing so he is never home. His BM and groomsmen kinda keep me on track via message. However it's not the same with having people here to help.

    • Reply
  • Saki
    Dedicated October 2019
    Saki ·
    • Flag

    I'm sorry you're feeling down when it should be the most exciting time of your life! It's so hard as adults to schedule things that work with everyone's schedule and to be honest, it only gets worse as you get older and people start having families. I feel you on this, though. I'm feeling a little down about not having anyone around - I live in UT and everyone I know lives in VA, so I've been doing everything on my own and it totally sucks, but I ordered dresses online and took pics when I tried them on and sent them to my bff and mom and they gave me feedback that way, and i didn't have to go to a bridal shop by myself. This worked out fine for me, but I do wish i had people here to help with other details.

    If you have friends offering to go with you, take them up on it! it doesn't matter that they aren't in your bridal party, if they want to share in this with you, you should let them!

    • Reply
  • Future Mrs. B
    Dedicated October 2019
    Future Mrs. B ·
    • Flag

    I am totally with you on this one. Today, I told FH that wedding planning is really unfun, I am tired of trying to constantly please people, while working in parameters that are constantly changing, with FH constantly wanting things to be "cheaper or free". I just want to elope (not an option). This is supposed to be fun and romantic, but for me it is annoying and frustrating. No one is happy most of all me. You are not alone...not today!

    • Reply
  • L
    Just Said Yes June 2019
    Lisa ·
    • Flag

    I was just recently married and had 8 girls in my bridal party. Like you I was excited to be plan and while initially my girls were happy for me and also seemed excited to help plan, at the end of the day, most of them did not help with much. My matron of honor also got pregnant and gave birth before my wedding so she was consumed by that and planning her own baby shower. I relied a lot on my own mother and my now husband with for all the planning. Don't get caught up in the other stuff, the day is about you and your FH.

    • Reply
  • Arlene
    Devoted March 2020
    Arlene ·
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    It is okay and yes everyone is busy and lives far, I am learning that.

    The major sad part to me is that I have been engaged since September 2018 so its a long time planning but it seems as if thats not enough but it is all good in the neighborhood, I will be just fine Ty for your kind words! Smiley heart

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  • Arlene
    Devoted March 2020
    Arlene ·
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    That is smart!! Yea I am definitely in agreeance with you for sure

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  • Arlene
    Devoted March 2020
    Arlene ·
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    Sounds like me! With only 1 kid lol props to you!

    It is alright..I just hoped honestly my MOH could came, prior to her being pregnant I still don't remember much involvement and thats okay as I stated I understand.

    I actually have been pretty quiet about everything and I no longer speak much of my wedding plans. I am just moving in silence lol and handling whats needed. I am trying to shake the funk too but eh, it is still there. Thank you for your kind words Smiley heart

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  • Arlene
    Devoted March 2020
    Arlene ·
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    True thank you!!

    and yes I plan to just take my mom! or if she does not feel well, I might go alone, as of right now I feel better doing it alone. My mom is ill so it depends on how she feels, some days shes great some days depending on diaylsis shes not and I would hate to have her drive 2 hours for me to go town downtown LA (more affordable shops) so I am playing it by ear. Luckily that shop can get dresses done in 2-3 months so if I have to wait I will. lol I really am over it all for planning, I just wanna marry him already and start our lives. Wedding planning is fun but when you don't have support its lonely. I have my FH support for the planning for our stuff but its different when you dnt have your girls with you as that is always a little girls dream you. It is okay though, thank you so much for your kind words.Smiley heart

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  • Arlene
    Devoted March 2020
    Arlene ·
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    Thank you for your kind words!!!

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  • Arlene
    Devoted March 2020
    Arlene ·
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    Thats how many I have as well, 8 lol.

    Yea I am not letting it get to me even though much already has but I am trying to pause on dress shopping because it now doesn't feel exciting anymore so I will re visit that topic maybe in a week or so again lol because right now, I just want to throw in the towel and take a trip and marry my FH already.

    • Reply
  • Shannon
    Beginner August 2019
    Shannon ·
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    That's what I ended up doing, keeping to my self and going. Only bring things up when I am asked. You'll get through the funk, specially as you get closer Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • Arlene
    Devoted March 2020
    Arlene ·
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    True thank youuu❤️
    • Reply

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