Bear with me..
I use to be VERY excited in wedding planning. I use to dream of doing stuff with my MOH or BMs but now I just feel let down and I finally had to let it out. Out of my huge bridal party I only have 2 local my JR BM and my MOH, my jr BM is only 14. My MOH got pregnant and just had her baby and before and after and during pregnancy has not been very involved which is fine. People have lives I do not expect anything. The rest of my BMs are out of county or up state so it is hard to see them unless get togethers. My FH Best Man lives 1.5 hour away but always makes sure he is set up and taken care of, my MOH and I have yet to talk about anything and it is my best friend, Different dynamics, she has canceled on me many times and that is okay.
However I am sad, I should be excited to go to my 2nd dress shopping but I am not. MOH cannot come and hasn't been able to do anything and that is fine my JR BM and her mom were going to come but they had a family emergency so my out of state BM and out of county ones are going to try and come but I said it was fine no need to waste money to come down and travel. I do not mind taking my mom only but I did want someone elses opinion who is more modernized as my mother is elder. I feel I have been doing this on my own with me and my FH and I just feel on my end it is kind of embarrassing to ask others if they can come with me to look at dresses again. I honestly am over the planning I am over it completely and just want to marry my best friend and move forward in life. I am not asking anyone to pay for anything I am not asking anyone for help, just to come with me to try dresses but it seems impossible. I now regret and wish we did something smaller or a DW. My mother is ill and my dream was to have her walk with me and my dad down the aisle and I will do that. But the planning part is making very sad and I had to express it.. I have had a few friends offer to come but same time I feel horrible even more because they aren't in the bridal party so I just feel weird. I think I wish my MOH was more involved or I had my BMs closer rather than being 3-6 hours away.. If you got this far in reading..thank you lol any advice or encouraging tips are greatly appreciated.