Planning alone. Ready to elope.

Nobody cares as much about your wedding as you do.

Generally, you'll be the only one (next to FH) who will care about everything that happens with the wedding. The best thing you can do is find ways to enjoy the process, post on here when you need help/support and focus on the fact that it isn't about the wedding, it's about the marriage.

It's true what Mrs Morales said, but your FH should be helping you plan at least a little bit.

You are not alone! You have us here to help Is your FH helpful? Does he give you any suggestions or whatnot? How about your bridal parties?

I am sorta planning my wedding alone, going on this website definitely help!

Have you considered eloping? Or having a really tiny ceremony?

It would be much easier on you if you planned something simple. Like, a courthouse ceremony with a nice dinner afterwards, with only a few select guests.

ETA: Just realized that your title was "ready to elope", lol. Wedding planning should not be this stressful all the time. We've all had our stressful moments, but it shouldn't feel like this.

It sound like you have two situations going on here. The planning is the easy one. I am planning about 85% of the wedding on my own. I have FH's input here and there and we go to all the vendor and venue meetings together and I have one BM who voluntarily is active in helping me with the florist and some other items, but other than that we don't have any family helping and I prefer that because I get to plan our dream day how my FH and I would want it. Too many people giving their input may get crazy. Take a breath and start by find a really good wedding planning checklist and working on things one at time instead of trying to tackle the wedding as a whole.

The second issue I gather from your post is that you are concerned with the cost of things, such as $2,000 for catering. If you feel the guest list is getting away from what you and FH have budgeted for then that is something you need to have a discussion about sooner rather than later and make a decision on. Good luck!

This site can be very helpful, also pinterest, google, sadly it's true what MrsMoralesToBe said. I get quite lonely planning because it's just not common here....at all. It's going to be huge roller coaster of emotions hun. Best advice I can give is buckle up and enjoy the ride. Best of luck to you

Maybe it's just a little early for your family to feel rushed to plan? .. I started planning at 7months out and it still took my mom 2 months to get me a list of names she wanted invited...- other people are busy and have their own schedules and lives to worry about

I would agree also with the last poster, sometimes it takes family and friends to really get into the wedding. Once they do though, you might just be tired of all the questions! haha

It sounds like your budget may not fit your guest list. You can't afford $2500 for catering? We need more info. Location, venue, etc.

Agree with Kassy.... if you don't have a 'wedding', no one can get upset about not being invited!

Based on your budget I think you should be planning a courthouse ceremony, or have a religious officiant marry you in a local park, garden, or waterfront public space (where you don't have to pay), with close friends and immediate family as witnesses, and then you go to dinner. There are plenty of officiants you can find on WW who will do this for you. Ours was beautiful, if I may say so!

Another option is what's known as a 'cake and punch' reception... this is where you don't serve a meal, instead you serve snacks and cake/pie, and drinks. Pretty much self-explanatory, it's casual and can be in the church basement, a public library party room, someone's house, in the yard, or could be at a park (make sure there's some kind of cover, just in case.

http://offbeatbride.com/2013/01/cake-and-punch has a good description of how to do a modern one. And for the record.... with a cake and punch reception, you *could* do Olive Garden

I was in your situation. I wanted to elope but I let my FH and my aunt talk me out of it. My FH wants the wedding but isn't very helpful in planning. I found the checklist on WW helpful and started running ideas by my aunt who cares more about the details than I do and I bounce ideas off my best friend who has been my greatest supporter for 2 decades. I have made my FH promise not to complain about the wedding since he doesn't want to plan. I also have found that since I stopped nagging him to help or give opinions, he is more willing to help with specific tasks that I really need his help with. So far he has helped pick the cake, the food, and his suit and collected addresses from his guests. He also translated for me with our baker since they both speak Portuguese. Everything else has been up to me with a fair amount of help (or dictating) from my aunt. I think having someone you are close to who will just listen is the most important thing.

I'm getting married just a couple of months after you and my parents and family aren't in a rush to plan anything either. We have the major vendors booked and everyone is relaxing until we really need to buckle down and get things done. What is it exactly you need help with? My FH is helping financially but I'm basically planning everything with his approval. I basically give him a couple of options and he picks the one he likes best. It's true that no one cares as much about your wedding as you do so it's normal to be planning on your own. We are here if you need to vent any time!

@saranoland - if you really want to do a full wedding, but cut down the guest list, you can do the following.... which was my original plan, and maybe was yours?

- 2 sets of Parents

- 4 sets of Grandparents

- Any siblings & their spouses or long-term relationship partner

- 2-3 Bridesmaids & their spouse or LTR

- 2-3 Groomsmen & their spouse or LTR

If you do this, you have invited only your "immediate family" - that means not a single aunt or uncle can come, close or not... but this is impossible for anyone to argue with , because if you draw families as concentric circles, your parents and siblings and grandparents are in the first ring... it's equitable. I suspect that was the basis of your original 25, since that would work out to a max of around 26. But not sure.

Thank you all for posting back. That helps a ton! There was another wedding board I'd posted on, but it seems like everyone there has a huge budget and just has a planner. I feel a little more normal knowing you all are planning a lot on your own, too.

I guess I should have included part of the thing hindering my planning: the reception is at someone's house (a friend of my to be in laws). It adds a lot of the little things: knowing how much room we have, finding tents, tables, linens, chairs. Also, who will be there to meet the caterer or rental delivery people? I don't know if I can assume the owner of the house will do that stuff. I've tried to find out, but no luck getting answers so far (like I said everyone else is really laid back about this).

And yes, the other issue is the budget. I've tried to talk to my fiance about it and I'm not getting a lot of input. I think he assumes his family will chip in, but if they haven't offered yet, so I'm not expecting it.

And mostly--its the principle: $175 per person is insane. This is a pretty basic wedding: no liquor, just (cheap) beer and wine. No venue fees. No fancy transportation. No favors. No DJ (iPod). Cheap DIY invites and decorations ($300 for invites and decorations). Less than $200 for flowers. And I'm not looking at dresses over $300. Our big splurges are the photographer ($****) and my fiance is buying a nice suit that he can use again vs. renting. The killer is the catering $30 plates (by the time I add in the hidden 15-20% fees and taxes).

And the wedding will be in the Muskegon, MI area if anyone knows of a cheap catering option. If I can bring the catering down to $20 vs $30pp, we'll be fine.

Lastly, re: help, I only have one bridesmaid... and she lives on the other side of the country. My parents passed away and my FMIL (who I do love) just doesn't do stuff like this, so she's hasn't been the much help so far.

I guess a plus is the stress helps me work out harder, so that cheap dress won't look so bad lol!

Mostly I planned the entire wedding myself; FH helped here and there.

In the year and a half of planning that I've put into this wedding FH literally helped me with...

1. Making his side of the guest list.

2. Agreeing upon a budget.

3. Picked out his and the groomsmen attire.

4. Went to interview the florist.

5. and the DJ.

6. Just signed his name on the contracts, he didn't look over them, negotiate with vendors, etc.

7. Went to the food tasting.

8. Helped assemble invitations.

You have just over a year. You have your place, now take the next couple of months and shop around for catering. Look up caterers, and discuss with them what they can do for $20 pp. Many will have packages but they can switch it up and accommodate too. Look up different restaurants and see if they will cater. Work on one thing at a time and you will be fine.

Check out the vendor tabs for caterers! I am getting married in Michigan as well and I found some decent priced options before we booked our venue which includes the catering. I don't know what type of food you are looking to have but we had BBQ catered for our 50 person engagement party and that was only $500.

We are having a small wedding because it's what we can afford. We are only inviting our siblings, parents and grandparents... no other family. FH is secretly inviting on bio aunt, and we're both inviting honorary aunts as our parents friends, but we're keeping that on the DL :p Our families have strictly been told that we are not inviting any other family, it's not negotiable, it's just how it is. If it causes drama, it causes drama and honestly I don't care much. It's what we can afford, and if other family want to come celebrate with us after the wedding they are more than welcome to! We can picnic on the beach. But for the wedding our absolute max was 58 people and we've whittled it down to inviting 46 including our bridal party. The greenhouse we are having our ceremony in only seats 50 people so that's also something we can tell people if they are upset they weren't invited - our venue can only accommodate a certain number of guests.

I have done 99% of the planning so far. I asked FH before I started planning anything if he had preferences about what we did decor wise or food wise etc. He said he wanted fun, friendly and good food.

What I have done:

- booked appointment to see venue and subsequently booked venue

- created example menus and booked tasting with caterer

- researched and booked the photographer

- booked the officiant

- made the rentals list and booked rentals after comparing prices

- booked the HandMUA (tho that's normal)

- researched florists

- Purchased cake topper, rushnyk, and ceremony backdrop

- found our invitations

- made the guest list with our invited family and my friends

- made the seating chart

FH has:

- visited and approved of venue

- met and approved of photographer

- approved of my invitation choice

- approved of my cake topper choice

- agreed to be home for caterer tasting

- added his friends to the guest list

- asked his dad to make lutefisk and a family friend to make deviled eggs (because those go well with tacos on a hot summer afternoon)

Stuff we did/are doing to save money: We changed from a dinner reception to a lunch reception and are doing a taco bar which is a cheaper option (bbq is also a cheaper option). We are only having beer and champagne/prosecco for alcohol. We're having minimal decorations and most will likely be diy or stuff that was on sale and matched our colour scheme. We've picked out our invitations and they are all ready to get "put in the cart" online when a good sale comes up.

ETA: wow I didn't realize I had written so much!!

I planned pretty much our entire wedding, he is a full time student and works 40 hrs a week too. I was part time at work dealing with my sick father for much of it. It was my therapeutic escape. Anyways, I agree with the others about local restaurants. If it is at a house,do you NEED fine china or real linens? yes they are nice, but expensive. Anyone belong to a church or social group like the Elks or Moose or VFW that maybe they can borrow the tables and chairs? Depending on food and feel of wedding you might be ok with nice plastic or paper plates, and nicer paper table cloths. Also check local craigslist for these types of items. Also my IL's did about nothing for the wedding, MIL made the FG basket and pew bows, and came to my shower( nice gift then, no card for the wedding no nothing). They paid for nothing but a few craft supplies to make those crafts.