Planning a wedding you DON'T WANT

I had this same issue and we've comprised on a small wedding of about 40 and we are both very happy and excited

The key thing to remember is that this is his wedding too. No you should not try to talk him out of having the wedding he wants but you should communicate your concerns. Let him help with the planning process so that it is less stressful for you.

I don't think you're awful at all! I do think you should be honest with your FH though.

My guest list is let's say 40 including children ... But not including if they bring a plus 1 ... But he literally has his mom dad 1 friend and sister plus her 3 kids ... Majority are people I know so I kind of felt we could skip the wedding and go to Vegas or just the courthouse and still honeymoon .... But reading your story it's like I should go ahead and do it ... I mean he is willing to help plan but still fml -_-

August 5 is a Sunday. I doubt the courthouse would be open for you to get married there.

Hire a professional officiant (civil or religious) to marry you in a nice setting (even a private dining room in a restaurant) and invite immediate families and best friends to celebrate with you.

If you don't want a wedding, you do not want a wedding. However, your FH annot read your mind, esp if you are pretending to be happy. Communicate with him, tell him your reasoning.

I've told him but it's something he wants so we are going to do compromise and do something small ... I don't want to spend the money not partake but intimate would still include almost 25 people of mine including kids

Let's back this up a few dozen notches. Without getting all verklempt, can you articulate why you are opposed to a wedding with guests? (Side note: whenever you get married is your wedding, whether it's just the two of you and an officiant or 10,000 people in an arena.) At its core, a wedding is joyous event that brings together the most important people in each of your lives to celebrate together. What's so terrible about that? If you don't want to spend a bunch of money, you don't have to. Host a small number of guests well and skip the "fluff" like favors and fancy linens and an expensive dress and programs, etc.

There is room for compromise here. You don't have to go along with a huge, expensive wedding just because he would like one. But he shouldn't be pressured into giving up on his dreams just because you would rather sneak away to the courthouse.

ETA: Not denigrating courthouse weddings in general, but it's only fair if it's what *both* people want.

View Quoted Comment Hi there! I saw this and I would actually love To hear your ideas for a small wedding. You’re the second person that Has said “they were so glad they DIDNT have a courthouse wedding.” Having a wedding gives me anxiety, but I also know it could give me joy. So your tips would be great!