Personal Attendants

It's a " you weren't good enough to be a bridesmaid but me my slave" job. Not cool.

I'm not 100% sure what a Personal Attendant's duties would be. Following to educate myself.

What's the difference between a personal attendant and a MOH?

They're called DOC's and they are paid.

You'd be honored if you weren't close enough to be in the BP but fair game to get coffee and hold the gown when the bride pees?

You can include her. Invite her as a guest.

MOH = honored guest

Personal assistant = errand bitch

I think the fact that you said you're not super close with your cousin but would include her as an attendant says it all. I would be very insulted if I was asked to be an attendant. I think for most people that role has a very negative connotation. It's like saying "will you be my servant?" Or as @sarah m. Put it, "will you be my errand bitch for a day?" There's nothing appealing about that.

No way would I ever dream of having a friend of mine be at my beck and call like a slave all day. If my BMs want to make a fuss over me then so be it but I will never make anyone do that.

It's 2017 not 1774.

Awful. This is awful. I got conned into being a personal attendant for a friend and now I do not speak to her. I felt like her bitch all day and it was a terrible feeling. You do not do that to your friends.

You want a personal bitch for the day, you hire someone.

If someone isn't all that close to me, I don't ask them to be AT my wedding, let alone IN it. Posts like this reek of "I want as many people possible to fawn over me on my princess day" imo.

Lilly- 100% agree!

I asked my future stepmom to be a personal attendant - I want to include her without my mom feeling like she is taking her place in any way. However, my future stepmom won't really be an "errand bitch". She's getting her hair and makeup with everyone else in the party, will help adjust my train and veil before walking down the aisle, has a corsage, etc. I'm not planning on having her make coffee runs or do all the set up or anything like that

I've never heard of such a thing before WW but it really seems like a shitty job. Between my DoC and mother everything should be covered.

Thanks, Rica, for the kind response! Having her do a reading is an awesome idea. I appreciate it

No.

I would never think of my cousin as my "bitch" and would not be running her ragged all day by any means, but thank you all for the insightful comments.

Honestly my FSIL had me do a reading at her wedding. She had 9 bridesmaids and her brother and I had been together 10 years at that point. I was pretty insulted.

@rica - I have heard of some people just asking the individual to come get ready with them and think that's a great idea, too. Part of me didn't know if that was enough to make her feel included so I wasn't sure. But maybe that would be enough! I'll have to think over my options. Thanks for your help!

@Devyn - Did you call her a "personal attendant" too? I guess I've never put a negative connotation with it so it never sounded bad to me but maybe that is what all the hostility is about! I feel like weddings where I'm from are much more low-key than most so I certainly wouldn't be having her running to get us coffee or waiting on everyone hand and foot.

I was included in the getting-ready stuff. I was given flowers and a gift. I was invited to pay for my own hair and makeup while her BP got theirs done on the bride's dime. I was given *most* of the same treatment as the BP that was being "honored" but I was expected to practically chew the woman's food for her, I wasn't allowed in pictures (in fact, the bride told the photographer to move me because she was afraid I was in some of her getting ready shots), and I wasn't in the programs or anything.

It's a bitch title, not an honor title. But go ahead and agree with the 2 people that agree with you that this is some sort of honor when it's really not.

@LillyBean17 - I'm not sure what you're getting so upset about. I have thanked everyone for their opinions. I haven't agreed with anyone. I simply responded to the people who gave me alternatives and didn't treat me like crap while doing so. I'm sorry that that was your experience; I would have no intention of treating anyone that way. Again, thank you for your comment.