Personal Attendant + Day of Coordinator

I think your need for a DOC really depends on how big your wedding is, how many elements/vendors you have to organize, and if you have a contact person at the venue who can help with meeting vendors as they arrive. I definitely think hiring a pro is preferable to asking your friends and family to fill all these roles. Even if they said they were on board with helping out, IMO they should be enjoying the wedding day by your side and with their friends and family.

I wouldn't put the burden on family and friends during my wedding. Even if people offered to act as hosts, I would hire a DOC.

If you aren’t paying him or have a contract stipulating his role, he owes you nothing, including communication in the months leading up to your wedding. Especially if something was going on in his life. 6 people don’t need to be in charge of the vendors getting paid. Put one person (best man maybe) in charge of that. I think you’re putting too many hands in the cookie jar, and this is a good way to cause confusion and chaos throughout the day.

I had a DOC and she did an amazing job. Our Seat Cover Vendor had an accident at their warehouse to where some of the seat covers were ruined. Our DOC handled it without even bothering me with what to do. Would I not have had a DOC I would of had to deal with the vendor myself and worrying about that situation. I highly suggest getting one.

I would hire one if you can afford it. When I first got quotes from quite a few DOC, the lowest one I got was $400 from a girl who had good reviews and was just starting out. I don't think guests every want to be given a job at a wedding, it takes away from them being a guest.

What does a personal attendant do?

I'd hire a DOC if you have multiple little things you need taken care of. While it is a bummer your friend might flake it is not something you have paid for.

If we didn't hire the one from the venue, the gal said we could have family. The venue DOC is $800....My MOH serves as a DOC at her church so she's told me not to hire one.

Well if your MOH said not to hire one, why you asking us?

What time is your ceremony at?

For my 4pm ceremony the bridesmiads and I will begin getting ready at 8am so they would not be able to decorate.

You really shouldn't rely on your loved ones to do all of this for you, just like you should not have asked a friend to work (I'm assuming for free) for you. This is all pretty rude.

Hire someone to handle your stuff and allow everyone else to just be a guest.

It sounds like you asked him to be your DOC assuming because of his past work experience. You really shouldn't expect people to "do you a solid" just because it's your wedding. Being a DOC requires alot of work and time and it would be best if you hired a professional instead of expecting someone to do it for you.

I'm hiring a planner because not only do I know that I won't be able to relax on my wedding day if I didn't, but ALSO because I don't want anyone else to take on the burden of doing anything extra for my wedding. Part of her duties are to set things up but when it comes to breaking down, I paid the catering company a little extra just to make sure that not only I but also that NONE of my family or friends have to lift a finger on that day. It's a day of celebrating, not working.. unless you're getting paid. Don't ask family or friends to do things for you except to be there and celebrate.

Thank you everyone for your responses - some weren't as positive as I would have hoped... I guess things all come down to culture, personal preference etc.

I live in the Midwest and work in Marketing for my full time job and have helped plan countless fundraisers for non-profits my past life. When I plan company events - it's just me working on the event until the day of.... then on the DAY OF THE EVENT - I always have our management team and any employees willing to help with setup, tear down, name-tag table etc- regardless if they get paid or not...

I see my wedding in a similar light - instead of management; it's friends and family closest to me. I get people asking EVERYDAY what they can do to help - right now I have a lot covered and very little can be done by others.... Maybe it's Midwestern values, personality, call it what you want. But people in my life want to help, they want to feel included, the want to "give back" to my FH and I (we help friends out all the time) and aren't always focused on the paycheck. That's what friends are for..

This hickup with my Day of Coordinator wasn't something expected, I've been friends with him for 14 Years. He's a person that my fiance asked for his permission to marry me, he was the only one there to witness our engagement proposal and take photos... His girlfriend had an affair last fall and he's been very distant ever since and it's taken a toll on our friendship.