People not respecting an adult only wedding

Stand your ground! If they don't want to follow the rules and stay home, too bad for them!

Tell them, "Due to limited space/seating at the venue we will not be able to accommodate any additional guests. We still hope you and your husband/wife can celebrate with us."

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We did all that from the get go. Apparently they think it's still ok for the ceremony I do not know why.

Their local religious congregation may view all weddings as open to anyone. It is quite common in some religions. So they honestly may not 'get it' that your expectation is by invitation only, for the ceremony and for the reception. If they are traveling with their kids, they need to arrange child care to start before they, the parents, come to the ceremony and reception. Or else, to your sorrow, the parents too will be unable to attend any of the of the ceremony or reception. Because their children are not invited, nor are other guest's children. You have to politely but clearly put it out there

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The ceremony is technically in a public space, a park but it's 15 minutes long. I don't know why anyone would want to get a kid all dressed up just for that.

Can you offer to help find them childcare? You may be able to find someone on care.com or through a neighborhood Facebook page

Since it's in a park, they may be thinking that 1 - their kids don't need to dress up or 2 - there will be a space nearby for play or 3 - some combination of the above and that when it comes to it, you won't "be mean" and keep their kids out

You're probably going to have to lay it out in plain language, unfortunately

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How frustrating! Hopefully you can have a conversation with them soon and let them know that the ceremony will also be adults only. At this point I would be pretty blunt about it. They are in the wrong for inviting additional guests.

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They have excuses that make it harder. My FH's sister in law is saying it is the only time of the year her niece can fly out and my cousin is saying she wants her daughter to meet everyone. It makes it really hard

Tell them no kids or they can't come. With child free weddings you really have to hold your ground and make it clear or you'll get kids.

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Your wedding is not a family reunion. They can plan something the day before/after if they want to get together with everyone in the family.

This is a common problem for all brides who want an adult only wedding/reception. You shouldn't have to say anything more than "adult only" for your friends/family to understand. However, there are some who will make it about them and their issues and then try to make you deal with their issues. As politely as you can, stay firm and let them know that out of respect for you and your FH, that this is an adult only ceremony and reception. If they can't make it due to childcare issues, that is unfortunate, but those are your wishes.

This is a hard situation since they are flying in for your wedding. I mean how can you tell them to leave the kids at home when it’s not like they’re only across town? I have a cousin from Virginia who is coming in for our wedding in Michigan and he is bringing his child to our “adult only” wedding. But, he is immediate family so we’re allowing that. If you are being firm with the no kids thing then I would arrange childcare for them and just tell them there kids will need to leave directly after the ceremony. Do not ask them, tell them. There is no excuse for them when they show up and there is a babysitter waiting for them! I know it’s hard but you just have to be firm. You’re paying for it! It’s your say.

I am offering childcare at both the ceremony and reception to avoid anyone trying to bring their children. We originally were going to have a 13 years and older wedding, but due to the venue's max and FMIL not including any kids in her guest list, I put my foot down and said adults only. Anyone under 18 who are brought can stay in their parent's hotel room (if they are old enough to) or stay in the room with the sitter. FMIL isn't a fan, but oh well, it's not her wedding. It's funny though. When I mentioned anyone under 18 staying with the sitter, she was like "would you like it if you were 17 having to stay with a sitter?" But when I mentioned it's proper etiquette to invite spouses together, she said you don't have to invite anyone you don't want to your wedding....uhm what?

Sorry, off topic. But I would just be firm like everyone else has said.

View Quoted Comment That’s the problem she is flying out with a child. It is a cousin but we do not consider that immediate family. Our cousins have over 40 kids we had to tell several no. We wouldn’t be able to have a wedding if we allowed cousins kids. She’s saying she won’t come to the reception either but I know my uncle is going to freak out about that and we can’t afford to pay for childcare it’s hard enough paying for the wedding

View Quoted Comment I cannot imagine. I would never get all my kids gussied up, for 15 to be in place before the start, a 15 minute ceremony, then tell them, hey we are all going off to party and eat, and you can't one, so let's drop you off at the babysitter now. Common sense to me would be to tell them from the start, three is an adult only party, and not get them ready for anything but something fun with the babysitter. But I learned from some of the denominations in town here, families often do it. Usually with high drama when the kids are sent off . . . You are the hosts, you decide the guest list, and those who initially misunderstood need to graciously accept being corrected. Stand by your decision.

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I know their excuses make it hard, but you will absolutely have more troubles with all the parents of other cousins and etc if you let this kid come. Call them up, tell them you are sorry but she cannot bring her children to the wedding or ceremony. Find the phone number of a good babysitter near you for her, let her know her daughter can meet everyone at events after the wedding or maybe the rehearsal dinner, but you cannot make an exception for her when everyone else is following the rules.

View Quoted Comment We have a really small family and we have been close with cousins and aunts and uncles my whole life, so that is just my family dynamic. Not everyone considers cousins immediate. But if you’ve had to tell other cousins no to their kids then they need to respect your wishes. I don’t know what else you could do other than getting someone to watch them for the reception. Maybe your venue has a space for those kids to hang out with supervision and not in the reception space? Then their parents can still go check on them? You could probably get a neighbor girl to watch them for the night for cheap! If your venue can swing that. Or maybe that cousin just doesn’t come. It’s your wedding, stick to it! Some people just do not get the no kids thing. Super frustrating.

View Quoted Comment Our venue is a Contemporary Art Museum it’s not meant for kids and we can’t afford a babysitter we are spending so much to have the wedding

View Quoted Comment Well then maybe you should just tell her to not come if she plans to bring her child. In a nicer way obviously... but there is clearly nothing you guys can do to accommodate for her child.