People making decisions for us...

So you don't mind the almonds, photo booth, dessert table- that's a great starting point. Why not have future husband talk with his family- and request that they run anymore ideas by you both first. And I would be appreciative of the help that they are offering. I think a lot of the problems I am reading about are mostly about the Moms, families etc feeling left out. Yes, it is your wedding, but you have two families now- yours and his coming together. Start your life off together on solid footing. When you look back, it won't make a difference about smores/chocolate almonds. Just my two cents

Well, I am trying really hard not to tell you how to feel, lol, but you SHOULD care about that damn photo booth and trolley, lol!!! Tell them, as a couple, what a previous poster said: "We have no room for those items, please return them." When they come back with (and they will, trust me!) with the following statements:

"Oh we are trying to help"

"What is the big deal? We are paying!"

"Geez you are SO sensitive"

Repeat it over and OVER: "We have no room for those items in OUR wedding. Please cancel or return the order." If you have a DOC have him/her deal with it on the day.

Listen, my first husband was a "I am only trying to help!" kinda guy and his mom was the SAME way. On our son's first birthday party, which was a Winnie the Pooh theme with a Winnie the Pooh cake, what did she do? She brought ANOTHER cake. I was like, WTF? I put is aside and said, nicely, I am sorry you went through that trouble, Junior has a cake. This was 21 years ago, I have let it go, lol!!!! Rein this crap in now or you are in for a world of hurt with his family "just trying to help."

Frankly, the father of the groom is the least incorporated person in the wedding so it won't be too bad to have him wearing a different suit. I understand he will stand out in pictures but if you have other extended family in the pictures, they will too. I know it's annoying though, I'm dealing with the same thing with my FOG. To be honest if you are really wanting to take the reigns with your wedding do it. It's all about communication. It sounds like they are super willing to help you out. Maybe they just need guidance. If you tell them what their job is then they can focus on that and use that helpful energy toward what you want. I don't think they are meaning to take over your wedding. Sorry you're frustrated. It will all be great in the end.

I stopped reading halfway through and cannot imagine how upset you must be because I already "just can't with these people" just from reading it. I am so sorry. They really need to back off. Do you want me to come over and kick them? Because I'm in the mood; I had to create a come to Jesus moment for a guest situation on my end only today.

As a side note..... I think a nice compromise on the chocolate dipped almonds would be to have the s'mores and the almonds kind of alternated at each place on the table. That way people have a choice and can even trade off if they like one more than the other!

It's time to sit for a heart to heart chat first with FH because this is the first step in building a future. Once you have both decided what you want and expressed how you feel it is time to sit with his family. Go in with a point by point speech. Explain that every finished task has been put back on the to do list and its adding stress. The times and spaces aren't adding up. The wedding is mostly being paid for by your parents and its insulting to assume they cannot afford it. The dress that needs ordered will be done in 24 hours or she is out. Then remind them you are all becoming family and this should be fun not a power struggle. Tell them how excited you are to become one of them if only you can make it through this wedding without losing your mind.

I'm from the opinion of "no pay, no say" but some people take the "pay, say" opinion WAY too much to heart. Your FH needs to get involved and say that ALL potential decisions need to be cleared with BOTH of you before anything is done or invites may be yanked.

So...is this your wedding or someone else?

I get the whole helping factor but not speaking to you first isn't how this works. sounds like they are trying to help but in an orderly fashion. I am sorry you're going through this!! keep your head up and enjoy a bath with a bottle of wine! try to let go of the wedding shenanigans for a few moments and recollect yourself!

Wow... just WOW! These people have some nerve, I can't even fathom how someone can be this way. I am so sorry you are dealing with all of this. I suggest you stop all wedding planning communication with them. Don't give her any more opportunities to talk $%&*. If she asks about anything, just politely respond that you have everything under control and it is going well (even if not!). They clearly are not respecting ANY kind of boundaries, and the fact that they can't even see your point, that you are not ungrateful just need to be involved, is ridiculous. How vindictive to just up and cancel everything too. I say let her have her tantrum and cancel everything, and just have her show up to your wedding - that is planned the way YOU want. Do you have a coordinator at all? If so, they could step in and help manage the situation. In the grand scheme of things, it wouldn't be horrible to have these extra things - more desserts, yum! - but it is the principle that matters, that they need to consider what you already have planned and run things by you first. Even for just the coordination of it all, e.g. the timing of the trolley. Good luck!!

I would only do that if you’re inviting your mom too. Otherwise, why even give her the satisfaction of being invited to that meeting.

Honestly, I would tell them that since they are making all the decisions they can have the wedding without you and your FH. I am not above threatening to go to the courthouse. You want to make all the decisions for my wedding? Cool, you can have it without me. No bride, no wedding. They are crossing the line and they have to stop.

I say do not settle for what you do not want. I have learned that trying to satisfy everyone will leave you a wreck and unhappy. It's YOUR day dear, do as you please because this is a moment you will remember for the rest of your life, a story that you forever tell and have to re-live. You don't want it to be a dreadful story. I send you love and light. I hope all works out.

I have wedding cancellation insurance (I have a chronic illness), but this is the fun part of having it. Anger us enough and it's canceled and we will elope. No harm or foul.