People calling me By FH's last name

I didn't change my last name. I'm not too worried about correcting his family. If there's an opportunity I do it, and i of course sign everything with my name, but I mostly just let it go.

I'm hyphenating legally but going by my maiden name professionally. I honestly don't care if people address me as Mrs. Maiden Name or Mrs. FH's Surname. I don't mind either and expect to hear a lot of Mrs. FH's Surname.

Do you plan on changing your name? If so, I would probably let it go. If aren't planning on it, you should definitely correct them.

You may have to deal with this the rest of your life.

We still live in a society where a woman is "expected" to change her name after marriage. Hopefully once the excitement wears off, people will be more careful about calling you by your legal name, not the name they think you have.

If I was you I probably wouldn't correct people, unless it continues, especially from your H's family, that is a little weird tbh

Don't make a big deal about it. They're probably excited for you

I know some people feel very strongly about this, but I personally don't think it's a big deal. Many people use their spouse's last name socially but keep their maiden name legally. Your DH's family maybe thinks that's what you're doing, so they think it's okay to call you by his name. If you don't really mind, I would just let them do it. Keeps everyone happy, and you still have your maiden name.

I would only make a deal out of it if it continues after the 3 month mark. It is probably just excitement and a way to keep the newlywed feeling alive. I have vendors that have started calling me "Mrs. XXXX" even though the wedding isn't for 3 more months. I'm taking it just as a way to show excitement for me.

If they don't stop eventually, be firm about your feelings. "I have explained my feelings regarding taking DH's name and I feel disrespected by your constant use of a name I am not going to be taking. Please, call me Lyla or Ms. XXX".

If you're not changing your name at all though I would calmly continue to correct them. I don't care how excited you are, call someone by their correct name (assuming you know it). They should respect you enough to call you by your preferred name. I don't care that the societal norm is still for a the woman to change her name, if she chooses not to change it, accept it and use the last name she prefers.

This would rub me the wrong way, but i agree with @lillybean. i'd let it go unless they continue doing it after the wedding excitement wears off.

Yeah I dont see the big deal. Let it go! Itll stop!

I didn't change my name. Some people did that to me too just more to try to be funny.. it wore off soon enough. Give it a wee while to see if they stop before you make a thing of it. I know it is annoying though.

It sounds like they are being jerks and doing this because they don't agree with your choice. I don't believe its excitement. They know you didn't change you name. Seriously, every text? Who calls someone Mrs.X in every text? This sounds like passive aggressive crap. For them, I would keep correcting them or start ignoring them when they call you by the wrong name.

For others who do this accidentally, I would let it slide or just correct them once and then let it go.

Maybe petty, but i would refer to your husband as "Mr. Yourlastname" to their faces/via text. It's not "excitement" to deliberately fuck up someone's name, so fight fire w fire

My parents have been happily married 40 years. My mother didn't change her name. About the only people who insist on hyphenating it, or using her birth name as her middle name is my grandmother/her mother in law. But then, she's known for that kind of behavior, to put it mildly.

I'm not changing my name and my last name is not the same as my son's. Often I'll get called by his last name, depending on who it is, I make the choice whether to correct or not. The people that I know who have changed their name after marriage is 50/50, so most people don't get offended if you correct them.

I didn't change my name and I didn't correct people unless it was a matter of legal documents. I answer to everything as long as I know you are talking to me

My mother, who I told multiple times I was not changing my name , and told her about a combo name we may use socially (and that I used on a gift to DH, which she saw), still got me champagne flutes with Mr. and Mrs. DH's last name. SIGH. I just gently remind people that I am not changing my name. But it confused many people at the wedding about what our plans were as we had told everyone previously that neither of us was legally changing our name.

I think you should continue to nicely correct them. Hey MIL, remember that I'm not changing my name! Repeat as necessary.

I didn't change mine and I do correct people who call me by his name because it does bother me. It's just a gentle reminder that I am Ms. R not Mrs S and would like to be referred to as such. It's mostly stopped now but I still get it occasionally. I think people should respect your choice, so I wouldn't hesitate to let them know that you are not changing your name and hopefully they will get the hint

Did you tell them you were not planning to change your name at all or that you just hadn't YET. I can see how they may think you just haven't gotten around to a legal change if you are saying you haven't done YET (implication is that you intend to). If you don't intend to change it, be more clear with them.

If you are sure they understand that it is "never" and not just "haven't gotten around to it, maybe next week" then just keep gently reminding them.