People backing out after the head count is in?

Same has happened to me- I am told just hang on for the ride because more may just not show up....It's tough and upsetting because you spend a bunch of money and it's just wasted... Hang in there!

Ugh i know exactly what you mean, i had one friend of mine tell me that her brother and wife were undecisive because fridays are their shopping nights!!!! So i told my friend to forget it, i didn't need people like him at my wedding, i was only inviting him because of her, but i haven't given my final count yet and am completely terrified of giving it and people backing out, i seriously don't think they comprehend, its very dissapointing!

This is true for almost everyone......we had a cuz to back out of the wedding party 2 wks before the wedding, a bridesmaid not sure if she would be able to get her dress in time, godparents promise to pay half for wedding dress and buy favors, a mom says she not coming cause she is not the one walking me down the aile and a whole table didn't show up at the reception after calling and emailing them to comfirm.

This is my biggest fear happening.

We are inviting 115 guests, hoping for 80% of guests to come. and hoping NONE will change their mind

Because caterers will generally make 5-10% more food than expected I have found in other business functions I've planned to round down instead of giving an exact number of RSVPs. This accounts for some no shows without eating into your budget--no small issue at $25-50+ a plate. It's a bit easier to call a week later or two days before the wedding asking for 3-5 more plates than it is to take that away when you already paid. Consider taking a good look at your RSVPs and subtract out half of the people who think may bail.

Ugh! We don't have our final count turned in to the caterers yet and we are already having this problem. Our deadline is in two weeks. We have to have an exact count because each guest has a choice of 4 different meals. The caterer needs to know the exact count of each meal selection for ordering purposes. We told our guests that they have until August 24th to decide. Yesterday my FH's uncle emails us to say they changed their mind as they decided they can't afford it. They have known since January we were getting married and received their invitation almost 3 months ago. They said they were coming and now 1 week before the deadline they change their mind!!! I have friends I could have invited 3 months ago. Now a lot of my B list has scheduled other things like business trips! I am almost through my B list and still need to find 5 more people to show up to my wedding. We I have decided that if we have less people there then we are planning on asking the caterer to box up their meals.

Southerngirl...I totally should have done that!!! Someone told me about doing that too, but I didn't because I figured he would have figured it out with the seating chart...but that's not due until 3 days before the wedding. damn. oh well....good advice for others!!

Remember people who say they are not coming will and those who say they are won't, so hopefully everything evens out, this is why we went with we supplied the food for the buffet style meal

This is why I have an A and a B list for the people that might back down at the last mintue

Make sure you have a long B list. I have a long B list and I have already blown through about half of it because most of my friends have other plans now. Most of which are business trips lined up.

Sorry it's so frustrating! If it is only a couple of people, it is likely to work itself out. Can you get a definite from them ahead of the wedding, even the day before? Then you won't wonder, and if you have 2 extra dinners you can find someone who wants them that night. Or you may hear from someone between now and then who thought they couldn't attend but found out at the last minute that they could, that is what happened to my sister. There isn't much you can actually do other than wait and see how it sorts itself out though, just have faith that it will. And either way, you'll have a great day!

I say forget them. At least that will save you on the bar tab. I was warned ahead of time that this will happen. It's still annoying, but there's nothing you can do. A friend of mine was recently in a fight with her sister, so her sister decided at the last minute not to go to a family wedding because she just couldn't stand to be around her. childish.

People are doing that to my shower this weekend. And I had to cut my list. My wedding is OOS for most people so I hope they are sure that they are making that trip. People really don't realize how important attendance count is for weddings... until they have one of course.

My mother (who really is my grandmother, she raised me) she is on the fence about flying out for my wedding also. It hurts and its so dissapointing.

This makes me SO mad... and I am kinda freaking out about this myself right now. Not only are we paying $100 a person for these people to come we have reserved seats for them and are expecting them!!! How can people be so rude and just NOT show up???

I have to have my final count to my venue in 2 weeks and that leaves 2 weeks for people to cancel or back out... ughhhhh