People adding plus one

Ultimately, do what you want. But, you came on here to ask for advice. You are getting such advice. You are getting it from brides and guest who have gone and done similar things. You have made your mind up, which is yours to make. Just wanted to let you know of similar experiences and how it makes the other side feel. Just keep that in mind when planning your day.

I wouldn't go to a wedding if my fiance wasn't invited (even if we had been together less than 6 months). But I probably would have asked before just assuming he could go!

I've said this on another thread, but just as "friends" need to understand venue restrictions, "friends" who are getting married need to understand that it is disrespectful to ask someone to come celebrate their commitment and love but to leave their significant other at home. One of FH and I's "rules" were that if we weren't close enough to value their relationship with another person enough to invite both of them and take up that space in our venue, we weren't really close enough to invite them to our wedding in the first place. Making "cuts" so you can celebrate your marriage while all your friends leave the SOs they don't live with, or have been dating for less than an arbitrary amount of time, or you haven't yet met (as someone who does long distance that rule is especially annoying) is not honoring to your friends or showing that you value them.

I'll do you one better. We invited John and Jane Smith. Period. That is what the invitation said. She RSVP'ed for 5. FIVE. I am assuming that the other three are their children, ages 1, 3, and 9. I am okay if they really want to bring the older child, but I don't want a baby crying at my wedding, or to have to figure out high chair accommodations at the reception. What's more, these people are local, so they are not traveling from out of town, and all the grandparents also live in that town. They are DH's friends, so poor guy has the task of calling her and explaining that we were not planning to accommodate small children.

But WTH would someone think it is okay to bring THREE uninvited extras???? People never cease to amaze me

Completely disagree with adding a plus one just because someone has a significant other - that is not a good enough reason for us. I understand inviting your coworker's spouse/friend because they won't know anyone else, but if your coworker(s) are coming and they know each other, I see no obligation to expect or invite their significant other especially if you don't know them.

My wedding day is not for people to have a date night; it's not a day to make small talk to people I've never met or have not see in a while.

It is RUDE in my opinion to assume that you have a plus one. I would never do that and If i wanted to bring someone I would ASK at the very least. Assuming you get a plus one is careless and ignorant.