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Halie
Just Said Yes September 2023

Paying for bridesmaids hair,makeup,dresses?!?!

Halie, on September 29, 2022 at 8:13 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 35

I am having a smaller wedding in a little bit less than a year (September 2023). I have 5 bridesmaids that are my two sisters and then the others are my sister in laws. I want to give a little back information- I am paying for my entire wedding party members AND their families hotels for the night...

I am having a smaller wedding in a little bit less than a year (September 2023). I have 5 bridesmaids that are my two sisters and then the others are my sister in laws.

I want to give a little back information-

I am paying for my entire wedding party members AND their families hotels for the night before, night of, and morning after the wedding.

It is a micro wedding but we are paying for everyone's alcohol

I am only asking them to buy a dress that I have found for less than 100$ (they can choose to buy a different one but I found this one I love and its super cheap so I am giving them the option to get it if they would like).


Now onto the hair and makeup......

Is it rude to ask them to pay for their hair and makeup? Total for each person for both services is less than $200. I want them all to get their hair and makeup done because I want us to all have the same sort of look. I dont want us to clash in our pictures and the pictures end up not coming out good.

Is it rude to tell them they cannot be a part of the bridal party if they refuse to pay for these things?


35 Comments

  • Latissa
    Beginner October 2023
    Latissa ·
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    No it's I was my cousin wedding we paid for our dress,shoes, hair and makeup. It's ways you can get around things if they know someone who does hair and if someone knows how to do make up. Plus it shouldn't be a problem because I'm pretty sure you getting them gifts and you already paying everything else. It wasn't a problem with us because she brought us jewelry to wear for the wedding and robes. They should just be happy that their apart of the journey. Good luck and congratulations
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    If you're requiring professional hair, nails, makeup etc then you would need to pay for it. "Signing up" to be a wedding party member does not mean that the couple getting married is entitled to spend the BM's money.

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  • Michael
    Rockstar October 2023
    Michael ·
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    Sure. It can work okay at times where bridesmaids sense an obligation to get hair and makeup done on their own. But that does not work out so well if they are having to pay for on-site hair and makeup in the style the bride wants -- at high prices. If your bridesmaids are told upfront how much they would have to spend, that is their choice to follow that. I did have one friend's bridesmaid who could not even afford her dress, so there are also tougher situations.

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  • Hector
    Beginner October 2024
    Hector ·
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    Hello,
    Being part of a wedding party in general one should know that you it will get pricy. Best man rents grooms tux and plans bachelor party and so forth. Maid of honor plans bridal shower and bachelorette party and so forth. With that being said expenses have to be made.
    Yes I do think it is a great gesture that you are offering to get the hair and make up done. That’s awesome.
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  • Cassy
    Beginner April 2023
    Cassy ·
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    I won't pay for my bridesmaids. We discussed it and agreed.

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  • Sylvana
    Devoted August 2021
    Sylvana ·
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    THIS. I don't understand when weddings became this thing where people suddenly think they have the right to make decisions with other people's money just cause you're getting married. No one says yes to being in a wedding party thinking the bride now makes their financial decisions until the wedding day. Financial situations can change at the drop of a hat but apparently, in this day and age, people need to keep a separate savings account in case they agree to join a bridal party. I don't know.....It just all comes across as selfish and entitled. I will not be accepting any more bridal party invitations since you can't tell what you're signing up for anymore and apparently budgeting responsibly comes after the "obligation" of getting your hair and makeup done for someone else's pictures.
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  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    YES. I couldn’t imagine in a million years telling my closest friends that they are required to get professional hair and make up services, or to dictate what they wear to my event, then tell them my demands are on their dime! That’s such an entitled bridezilla move.
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  • E
    Savvy October 2022
    Erika ·
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    If your requiring it you should definitely pay for it, especially since you want everyone to have the same look. What may seem affordable to some is not always affordable to others. Yes, they should realize cost come with being in a wedding but it does not always happen that way. If the wedding is local to everyone then hotels are not totally necessary. I would reallocate some things in your budget ☺️
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    And this is what I'm worried about. The age of social media ie. IG and tiktok has upped the ante in prewedding events way out of the range of the normal person. Effectively ruining relationships and inflating entitlement everywhere. A spot in the wedding party is no longer an honour for the person being asked, because with the expectations as rampant as they are, who would want to do it?

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  • Bailey
    Expert October 2023
    Bailey ·
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    Sorry, it is not normal to require your bridesmaids to pay for professional hair and makeup. A dress? Yes, definitely normal! Even shoes, sure. But H&M? No.

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  • Connie
    Dedicated September 2023
    Connie ·
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    I guess its normal in my social circle then? Because everyone I know had their bridesmaids pay for their own hair and makeup.
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  • Erin
    Super May 2022
    Erin ·
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    @Connie were they given the option to not go with who the bride hired and do it themselves, though?


    I’m about to be in a wedding where the bride hired a professional H&M artist. If we want them to work on us, the bride is asking we pay, but she also said we can decline and figure out H&M for ourselves. That way she created an out for anyone who was not comfortable with the price point.
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  • Cecelia
    Beginner November 2024
    Cecelia ·
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    I'm sorry maybe I'm being a little biased, but I've been an maid of honor once and bridesmaid twice and each time if I wanted to have my hair and makeup done professionally, I paid for it. To be honest you're already paying for basically everything, I don't believe it's fair for them to expect it of you. Now if you want to be more particular about the style and look then I would then I can see where your needing to pay for it then.

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  • Monique
    Savvy March 2023
    Monique ·
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    When you are asked to be in the wedding one should expect to pay for their own. I'm only having 4 people in my wedding, 1 moh 1 bridesmaid, 1 best man, and 1 groomsman. The ladies are responsible for their dress and hair. I'm paying for the MUA. The men are paying for their own Tux. They are responsible for getting anything they are wearing. #MyWeddingMyWay

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  • A
    Just Said Yes October 2022
    AnitaAndrew ·
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    Goooooooooog
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