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Halie
Just Said Yes September 2023

Paying for bridesmaids hair,makeup,dresses?!?!

Halie, on September 29, 2022 at 8:13 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 35
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I am having a smaller wedding in a little bit less than a year (September 2023). I have 5 bridesmaids that are my two sisters and then the others are my sister in laws.

I want to give a little back information-

I am paying for my entire wedding party members AND their families hotels for the night before, night of, and morning after the wedding.

It is a micro wedding but we are paying for everyone's alcohol

I am only asking them to buy a dress that I have found for less than 100$ (they can choose to buy a different one but I found this one I love and its super cheap so I am giving them the option to get it if they would like).


Now onto the hair and makeup......

Is it rude to ask them to pay for their hair and makeup? Total for each person for both services is less than $200. I want them all to get their hair and makeup done because I want us to all have the same sort of look. I dont want us to clash in our pictures and the pictures end up not coming out good.

Is it rude to tell them they cannot be a part of the bridal party if they refuse to pay for these things?


35 Comments

Latest activity by AnitaAndrew, on October 11, 2022 at 6:37 AM
  • Erin
    Rockstar May 2022
    Erin ·
    • Flag
    Because you want them all to get their hair and makeup done professionally by someone, yes it would be a faux pas to tell them they have to pay for it.


    Since you are already paying a lot for them, and it sounds like your budget is running out, you may have to concede on the hair and makeup and let them have the option to do it themselves or hire a professional if they so desire. I would have suggested putting the money toward the hair and makeup instead of their travel accommodations, but it sounds like that’s now a sunk cost and there’s no going back.
    If you can end up swinging it after all, I’d suggest doing what we did: paid for all their makeup but left hair up to them. Makeup is more complex and bad makeup is more noticeable. For hair, you can do a simple ponytail or half-up-half-down and still look great.
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Devoted February 2023
    Kristen ·
    • Flag
    The question I would ask is do you want your bridal party to be there for you for the purpose of love and support on your special day? Or do you want them more for aesthetic purposes?
    • Reply
  • Taylor
    Rockstar October 2022
    Taylor ·
    • Flag
    Considering getting professional hair and makeup done is a requirement for you then you definitely should pay. Since you’re already paying for so much I would see where you can adjust your budget to fit it in
    • Reply
  • Halie
    Just Said Yes September 2023
    Halie ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    All of my bridesmaids are family members and have been family members for atleast 7+ years (and some of them, my entire life)

    Of course I want them there for love and support but I also feel that if my sister said I needed to get my hair and makeup done for her wedding I would not expect her to pay for it.

    Now if it was some outrageous cost, that would be a different story. But, I am going out of my way to make sure that everything is affordable for them and giving them a year to save up the money for it.

    • Reply
  • Halie
    Just Said Yes September 2023
    Halie ·
    • Flag

    I also want to add that our wedding ceremony and reception is all local to everyone. So traveling expenses aren't something that they would have to pay an outrageous amount for.

    • Reply
  • Erin
    Rockstar May 2022
    Erin ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Were they already told this would be covered for them or is that just between you and your FH at this point?
    • Reply
  • Halie
    Just Said Yes September 2023
    Halie ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    That is just between me and FH at this point. I am wanting to get as much advice about the situation before I address it with them.

    My budget has a lot of wiggle room and not a lot of things are set and booked. Therefore, I do have areas that I can adjust costs.

    • Reply
  • Erin
    Rockstar May 2022
    Erin ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Oh ok good then I would definitely suggest you reallocate all of the hotel costs to hair and makeup since you would prefer that to be done professionally.
    • Reply
  • Cece
    Rockstar November 2022
    Cece ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I would definitely adjust costs elsewhere and pay for the hair & makeup services since you are requiring them.
    • Reply
  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
    • Flag

    If you're requiring hair and makeup, then you'd need to cover the costs for your bridal party. You certainly don't need to cover hotel costs. I'd definitely reallocate your costs. It would be extremely rude to ask them to pay for their hair and makeup, unless it's optional (which it's not in your case).

    • Reply
  • Michael
    VIP October 2023
    Michael ·
    • Flag

    Will they all be okay with the look that you want? You might not want to surprise them with the style you are looking for.

    • Reply
  • T
    Dedicated July 2017
    ti ·
    • Flag

    I agree with the previous posters, it is understandable that you don't want to/perhaps can't budget for all their hotels, alcohol, outfit and hair but what you should be paying for is their outfit and hair/make up as opposed to the hotels.

    If you want to dictate what your bridal party wear or how their hair is etc then you need to pay for it.

    I only cared about mine wearing the same dress so I bought all the dresses and said wear whatever shoes etc you like. I offered them to use my hair stylist if they wanted as she was at the house anyway, but it would have been at their own cost as I was happy with them doing their own hair in whatever style they liked.

    Most people expect to have to pay for their own hotels etc to go to a wedding, but typically the bride & groom would cover the cost of the wedding party's outfits.

    • Reply
  • Wattina
    Just Said Yes July 2023
    Wattina ·
    • Flag
    It’s your wedding and as crazy as it might sound but it’s a fact whatever you say should go. It’s your day … my bridesmaid are responsible for their own dress, make up, hair and parts of my bridal shower and bachelorette expensive. And if you Google a bridesmaid responsibility it will say so.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    Because you have a specific vision you are requiring for hair/makeup and dresses, it’s your responsibility to cover those costs. Spend your money on that instead of hotels that are guests’ responsibilities. That way, they spend what they can afford and they don’t have to pay a lot of money for a dress that is worn 4-5 hours at most for the lifetime of the dress.
    • Reply
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    In that case, I don't see why you'd need to pay for a hotel for them because they can just stay at their house. Instead I would pay for their hair and makeup sine you are requesting they have it professionally done.
    • Reply
  • Sylvana
    Devoted August 2021
    Sylvana ·
    • Flag
    You do not get to make those decisions with someone else's money. Other than a dress, everything else is voluntary, including bachelorette parties or any other wedding related event outside of the actual wedding itself. If you want their hair and make up done a specific way, that's on your dime, not theirs. These people are supposed to be your nearest and dearest. Those who you couldn't see spending one of your biggest days without. If having their hair and makeup done a specific way is more important to you over their support, then do not ask them to stand up there with you. And please be up front with the costs if you have all of these requirements and demands. Not everyone has the funds (or the desire, for that matter) to spend their hard earned cash on funding your wedding vision.
    • Reply
  • Sylvana
    Devoted August 2021
    Sylvana ·
    • Flag
    Meant to add - pay for the hair/make up and let them pay for their own hotel room, should they so choose. While paying the room is a nice thought, it's immediately cancelled by demanding they pay something else instead. Cover the costs that are most important to you and let them decide what they want to do with the optional costs.
    • Reply
  • K
    Just Said Yes July 2023
    Kendra ·
    • Flag

    I agree with Devoted. Since you want the hair and makeup a specific way you. should pay for that and let your family pay for their own hotel and transportation.

    • Reply
  • H
    Savvy September 2024
    Holly ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Agreed! It’s super generous of you to want to pay for the hotel accommodations. But if you think you aren’t giving enough with only paying for hair and makeup maybe you could Tell them you will also put $100 toward their dresses. Then if they want a more expensive dress that’s on them. Or pay for a spa day the week of the wedding for them. There’s lots of things you could do if you think just paying for hair and makeup isn’t enough.
    • Reply
  • Connie
    Beginner September 2023
    Connie ·
    • Flag
    It’s not rude, it’s very normal. When they are signing up to be a bridesmaid it’s expected they are also agreeing to the expenses. That’s why people ask them if they want to be someone’s bridesmaid. If they don’t want to take on those responsibilities then they don’t have to agree to be a bridesmaid and instead a guest
    • Reply

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