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Maria
Master June 2018

passive aggressive priest?

Maria, on August 23, 2017 at 1:31 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 26

I contacted a nearby church saying that I would like to prepare for marriage. I left them a voicemail and the priest called back that same day. Meeting the following day. Once he seemed to acknowledge us and give us the first steps, I booked the church in PR. He's really nice and we were honest...

I contacted a nearby church saying that I would like to prepare for marriage. I left them a voicemail and the priest called back that same day. Meeting the following day. Once he seemed to acknowledge us and give us the first steps, I booked the church in PR. He's really nice and we were honest about living together and he said we could continue preparing for marriage.

That was months ago I've booked Pre-Cana at their sister church and put down a deposit for our PR church. I had my parents go to three different churches in PR to pick up my baptism, first communion, and confirmation. For weeks, maybe a couple of months I've been calling and emailing to let the priest know I have my paperwork and that I booked Pre-Cana. It's a small church so I haven't been calling all the time like it's customer service. 1 phone call here, another email there. One time while I explained who I was to the receptionist, she said she remembered me. I'm nervous because I haven't heard a response. Cont..

26 Comments

  • HappilyEverSearson
    Dedicated September 2018
    HappilyEverSearson ·
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    OP I really hope things get straightened out for you. I'm so grateful now for the ease I've had at my church. I was going to have yo get a copy of the annulment from my first marriage and then our Deacon reached out to the diocese himself and obtained the copy. He also did this for my baptism, reconciliation and confirmation certificates. Hang in there, keep us updated!

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  • Maria
    Master June 2018
    Maria ·
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    @LuckyAK Did it work out? Are you in contact or did you change churches? Was it no big deal, they were just busy?

    @Kt90210 I think I've heard of Old St. Joseph's. My friend has been there. I'll ask her. It might be a bit much to commute every Sunday but I'll do it if need be. I'll check St. Titus too! Thanks!

    @lkg72 I actually don't know. We left things with the understanding that I would become a member of the church, collect my paperwork, and sign up for pre-cana. He made it sound like the process was paperwork. Submitting something for the diocese to approve. I really don't know the specific details.

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  • Maria
    Master June 2018
    Maria ·
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    Thanks @HappilyEverSearson!!!

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  • Brianna
    VIP May 2018
    Brianna ·
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    I hope things work out for you! Seems odd to me that they wouldn't do all of your pre-marriage work based on if you were giving donation envelopes every week...

    We are working with an older priest at my church, but I think he is understanding to the younger generation (we live together, FH isn't even baptized). We have already done the FOCCUS test, gotten all of the paperwork together, and completed pre-cana. All that's left now is to get the dispensation from the Bishop.

    Unfortunately, it seems like everything that goes into Catholic marriage prep and the wedding all depends on the church and priest you have. Wishing you luck in hearing something back from your church!

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  • BoudreauToBe
    Master July 2018
    BoudreauToBe ·
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    Growing up, our church literally defined you by your envelopes. It was the same process for getting a confirmation sponsor - they would call the churches to see if you went and judge your attendance by how many envelopes you gave.

    Hence, why we are getting married in FH's Episcopal Church.

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  • Maria
    Master June 2018
    Maria ·
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    Thanks @Brianna. I hope so too! I might just have to start over somewhere else.

    @BoudreauToBe I'm sorry to hear that but I'm glad you're getting married where you feel comfortable. Question: Was this "literally defined by your envelopes" explicitly said or was it just implied but in a way that was obvious to the community? Just curious how upfront the dynamic is.

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