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Dedicated April 2022

Passing of family member

Cindy, on October 26, 2021 at 9:48 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 6

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I know everyone mourns and handles things differently . Last night my fiancé uncle passed away . I feel terribly sorry for him. I’m very close to his family especially his mom who just lost her brother . We’ve been together for 2 years going on 3 . I never met the uncle but heard great things about him . My fiance told me His plan to go visit family / funeral . I asked him if he wanted me to go and he said no .

Is that usual ? I understand if I was his girl friend . But we’ve been together for sometime and have been engaged for a year .
It’s hard because I don’t want to make it about me .

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6 Comments

Latest activity by bevbabe, on November 1, 2021 at 8:53 PM

Super July 2020
Cool · on October 26, 2021 at 10:03 AM
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I don’t think anything is usual when it comes to grief. Everyone handles it differently. I would gently offer your support and willingness if he changes his mind but support him going on his own also.
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VIP January 2019
Maggie · on October 26, 2021 at 12:38 PM
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I agree with this. I understand why you would want to go to be there for him. But you can be there for him before and after, too. Follow his lead here and it will be fine.
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VIP April 2022
CountryBride · on October 26, 2021 at 12:45 PM
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When my fiance's grandma died I never met her he didn't want me to go because he wanted to grieve and he has a hard time letting anyone see him cry I wouldn't take it too harsh
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Expert September 2022
EGD · on October 26, 2021 at 1:04 PM
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Everyone grieves differently and there could be a multitude of reasons he has stated you don't need to go with him.
When my maternal grandfather passed, (FH was actually the one to deliver the news to me), I had asked him to come to the services with me, I was very close to my Poppy and it was a devastating loss and I needed the comfort of FH to get myself through the day.
A few years later my paternal grandmother passed, though I grew up seeing my grandma and it was sad to lose her, we weren't close and I didn't feel a need for FH to take a day from work to attend the services.
FH could have different reasons for requesting you not go, like mentioned above he may not feel like he can grieve properly with you there. If his request is you not attend, I would respect his wishes.
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Devoted February 2022
Kristie · on October 26, 2021 at 1:48 PM
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It's true. Everyone grieves differently. I would just tell him that you love him and that you're there for him anyway he needs you to be.
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Devoted June 2023
bevbabe · on November 1, 2021 at 8:53 PM
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I wouldn't hold this against him or read too much into it. Maybe he wants to grieve alone. Tell him you'll be available to talk and be there for him in any way he needs.
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