Parents Inviting Their Friends

@engineerinlove I do think part of it is that they feel they need to return the favour, but the weddings that they attended were ones where they were an active part of their friend’s child’s lives growing up (my dad is my stepdad so the connection is via him).

So, as none of these people are in any way a part of my life, I don’t feel the need to reciprocate.

I see both sides of the argument, but I’m going to go with my instinct and say no

"No" is a complete sentence.

If they aren't people that you and FH know and care about, they don't need to be invited to your wedding. Especially since your parents are not footing the bill.

Yeah, my future in laws gave us a list of friends and it was not presented with 'it would be nice if you could invite them' - more of an expectation that we had to invite them. it kinda peeved me a little. my parents are paying and are okay with it but i just dont appreciate anyone telling me who i have to invite, especially when i expressed to everyone i wanted to keep it small, which neither side is respecting.

My parents and future in laws both had a few people they wanted to invite that we weren't planning to invite. Not active in our life but we've respectively known them for years. Our compromise was they didn't receive a STD and only were invited when we were comfortable with final our guest list. Good luck!

My Nana said for my wedding that she wanted to maybe invite two or three of her good friends (they knew me when I was much younger), but since FH and I are paying our wedding ourselves she offered to give us the money for their plates. Which I thought was a fair compromise!!

When it's time for you to create a guest list in 1 year then decide who you are close to and want to see at your wedding.

Way too soon for guest list talk. I'd just tell my mother it's too soon, let's discuss when the time comes. Maybe in the next 1 1/2 years you will meet these people and love them! Who knows, that's a long time

As a mother you have to understand that the people we wish to have at our children weddings are those nearest and dearest to us. They may or may not know you, depending on your age, how long the friendship is etc. You said you decided to pay for the wedding yourself. Thats fine but honestly would it kill you to allow your mother to invite her friends and if money is an issue have her pay for it. Yes it is your wedding, and we understand that but it is also partly our change to brag, partake, beam, and share this joyous event with our friends also.