Parents Inviting Their Friends

I don't find you're being unreasonable. It's you and your fiance's day that you want to share and celebrate with those you know and love. She should be respectful of your wishes.

Since you've got some time, I'd look at her list and see if you can at least arrange a time to meet them. Engagement party, holiday event, something or other. Talk to her about why it's so important to her that they get invited. It's only 6 people, so I'd try to make it work before dismissing it completely. If, by the time you send out save the dates, you still fell this way then don't invite them. It really should be up to you who gets invited.

Thanks guys, I’m just going to stick to my guns and keep the guests personal to us.

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I let my mom and dad invite their friends. I put a cap on the number but I knew having a few friends at the wedding was important to her and my dad. They are not paying for the wedding either. Personally I didn’t want them to feel like because they aren’t paying they can’t get anything during the wedding process.

We had that issue w my MIL- she wanted to invite like 6 couples, but we gave her 1 invites (2 guest). She wasn't happy but she accepted the fact that we paid for the whole thing.

Could you be realistic with her and explain the reason why you don't want to invite people you don't know us because you are paying $X per person?

My parents are not paying for anything, and I'm inviting the friends they requested- only because these people are practically family and have been a huge part of my life. I would never invite some random people- even if my parents knew them. Keep your stance, I think you're right in the situation.

Our parents are contributing so they got a lot of people FH and I wouldn't have invited on the guest list. We have met them all, though. There's no one coming to our wedding that we wouldn't recognize. If you have not met them at all and your parents are not contributing financially, I don't think it's unreasonable at all for you to say no to them.

I cannot fathom why people would want people they don't know to witness something so personal. Therefore we are only inviting people we personally know well

@Melissa I know it's mad! My mum's friends love to ask about my wedding but definitely don't expect/want to come!

My parents are asking for something similar, but they are contributing generously to the wedding and they are (for the most part) people I've known since I was a kid.

Is it that these people invited your parents to their kids' weddings and now feel obligated to invite them to yours? Or some similar situation?

I know all my parent's friends so this is why it is not a big deal for me to invite them. I would probably let them invite one or two I didn't know if she had any. In the grand scheme of things $600 to make them happy is worth it to me

Six people is very reasonable. My parents insisted on paying so they could invite 40 of their friends because there was no way in hell I was paying for 40 extra people. They are paying for the venue/catering and we are paying for everything else.

FH's parents had a small list of people they wanted to invite which I was totally on board with. They have a large family so a lot of guests from "their side" are family.

Granted I have only gotten 2/3 lists from parents (FH's parents are divorced), but his mom and my parents would like us to invite 2 friends each. Granted we know them, so it's not a big deal. If it were more than 10 each, we would have a problem.

I don't understand people using their children's wedding as their big social event for all of their friends. It is an intimate occasion not a block party. I'm a hard nope on this.

I am in a similar situation. My FMIL has at least 16 people on our invite list that I have never met. My FH says he knows them, but they aren't an active part of his life. He has met them on occasion. He can't understand why I don't want to invited people I have never met when I'm not inviting people we both know because the guest list is too big. His parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner but that is all. I say stick to your guns. I am trying my best to remove these people from my list.

I asked my dad if there was anyone he wanted us to invite and he asked for three couples (six people), two of the couples being people who have been friends of his my whole life but I don't know well. My mom didn't want to invite anyone (they are divorced). My FW and I are paying for the whole thing and are estimating 80-100 guests. In this case, though, I was so touched he wanted some of his friends there as I am marrying a woman and it meant a lot to me.

The only one being unreasonable is your mom. Your party, your guest list.

My FMIL did this, but its a little different. she asked me to invite her best friend and family, a husband and two kids. I didnt understand why, until FH told me he knows her personally, and that they've been family friends since he was in diapers, and he and his brothers inspired her to start a family of her own.

if this were not the case, i wouldnt let people just invite others to my wedding. i get that its your mom, but if you dont want them there... that's your call. i dont think you're being unreasonable by any means. i wouldnt want people we (as in FH and I) couldnt pull out of a lineup on our wedding day, either.