Parents are not contributing yet want to invite distant relatives.

Tell them no, and leave it at that.

You should never ask people for money, and you should also not cave in to their desires since they aren't willingly offering money. They don't need a long-winded explanation, no is one syllable. But, if you feel the need to explain, you can tell them that you are on a strict budget and want to make sure there is room for those closest to you. They can't really argue with that and if these guests are so important to them, they'll offer money willingly. I doubt it though. Some parents are just weird about these things and feel like everyone under the sun needs to come.

No is a full sentence.

if you want to say more "Sorry, we do not feel comfortable inviting people we barely know. Even if they are family."

If pressed "We have made up our mind. This will not change. We wont be talking about it again."

No is a complete sentence. I would however, advise telling them that you aren't inviting anyone you haven't talked to in a year. You are hosting the event, you set the guest list

Just tell them no and if they ask for more explanation than that you can tell them that it is just not in the budget. Don't budge on it!

No.
No.
No.

And then say no again.

Do not ask them for money. Say no and if they push tell them you're at your venue's capacity.

I mean 4th or 5th cousins don't even really count as family, IMO. I could run into one of mine on the street and have no idea. I couldn't tell you how many I have, their names, where they live, or the family connection. Tell your parents the guest list is set, you are keeping it small, and please don't extend verbal invitations, or it will be awkward for them to have to rescind them. In fact, it would be better if they don't discuss your wedding much with strangers.

I would just tell them you can afford 100 people. Not 150, not 110, and not 101 people. Then tell them you made your list of 100 and show them who is on it. Every person costs X amount of money for you & your fiance, and his parents. If they want to invite extra people not on the list (and you & your fiance are okay with that), they can pay the food, drink, favor, seating, etc. cost per person. It's not rude, it's just how life works.

Just don't send them invites. Let your parents explain to them why they aren't invited if they ask them.

View Quoted Comment Totally agree with all this.

This came out of left field for me because I heard stories about inviting more people that you barely know from other people but I didn't think my mom would do that. She did and I had a long discussion with her about budget and space and how it's my wedding and I want people I am super close to there. It's tough but you are in the absolute right to say no

Say absolutely not! 100 is what you can afford. We aren't inviting third cousins etc. That'd be absurd. Especially since we haven't seen them in ages. My mom is trying to say that her relatives in Italy may want to come and I told her straight up that she's paying for them then.

My mom tried to invite one friend and I shut that down immediately.

Her friend submitted her information on our wedding website. In the suffix section this heaux had the audacity to put “granddaughter”

Ma’am.

A suffix is II or V. Not granddaughter. Next, you were not invited. I know I said no kids. I also said no +1’s. Yeah, this is just a no. I deleted her information and told my mom she wasn’t invited.

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Omg! Lol! I'm dying! Did that really happen to you?! I would have died of laughter

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That is too funny!!! People are entertaining sometimes!

No pay no say. Lol

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LOVE THIS.

If they continue to press: sorry, we're at capacity and we literally cannot accommodate them.

We went through the same thing. I didn’t mind inviting people who were important to our family, but we couldn’t invite everyone since our families are huge. Make it clear who’s invited and who isn’t. For instance, if you’re inviting a second cousin, make sure your parents understand the adult kids (your third cousins) aren’t invited. And as others have said, it’s perfectly okay to say no. They will be disappointed, but it’s still okay to say no.

You can’t make money appear where it doesn’t exist. The budget can only accommodate your current guest list. Period.

View Quoted Comment Hey Nisa. Yes that’s a true story. I was like was this lady serious? I haven’t seen this woman in at least 6 years.

I asked my mom to let me know if there was anyone that I had forgotten / people she wanted to run by me. I told her to LET ME KNOW first. She decided to just invite this woman who I NEVER would have invited - she was rude to my grandmother and caused drama at the event I last saw her at.

I also got annoyed and pissed off that you assumed you can bring someone else. I literally don’t know who she’s even talking about. I felt like she was being sneaky by putting it in the suffix because you can clearly add another guest. She didn’t even bother to include her granddaughter’s name.