Overcapacity for Reception!

We will be having our ceremony at SF City Hall, so it's nothing terribly fancy but we are renting one of the balconies out. A lot of our guests are locals and our event is on a Tuesday at 11am.

BIG question: Should we shave 10-15 people from our lunch reception (it's slated to be pretty intimate anyway) and just invite them to our ceremony? Or should we try to make it work the best we can?

We are also playing with the idea of having a night cap meet up at a local bar for those that want to celebrate later in the evening too for a second very casual reception. Any advice would be MUCH appreciated.

Simple, your wedding is a year away, so invitations are far from being sent out. Cut your list to 50.

And you NEVER invite people to the ceremony and not the reception/lunch. You can invite fewer to the ceremony but not the other way around.

You cannot invite people to your ceremony without inviting them to the reception. This would be extremely rude. You have two options: cut your guest list or find a new venue.

Never invite any more than what your venue will allow. I know it sucks to make cuts to the guest list, but it's better to do that than to go over your limit and have people standing with no food. Your wedding is a year away so lots can change between now and then. FH and I have made a rough draft guest list, and we know that some people on there now may not be on the list in 10 months because relationships change. We also had to take some off because of a guest limit. It's good that you're starting to think about the list now, but give it some time. You still have several months before save the dates need to go out!

Mine is october of this year. We invited almost 400 and the fire code was 300. I was worried about it. Only about 250 are coming. Dont fret about it! Everything will work out!

Yikes. Be prepared for any backlash that will come your way.

While you should count on everyone coming to your wedding; per etiquette, PLEASE do not tier your invites. Inviting a portion of your guests to the ceremony and not to the reception is rude. It's like telling your guests that they're not worth a meal. They don't actually get to celebrate with you. As you already suggested, do a nightcap. People will far better understand space constraints rather than ceremony-only invites.

If you shave anyone from the guest list, they should be cut...period. It's rude to invite someone to just the ceremony or just the reception. You can either cut 10 people, add on the extra expense to have them there (I personally wouldn't want it to be that tight in terms of space), or move reception venues.

Don't over invite and hope for the best. Cut the extra people you need to cut and have your 50 person guest list. Always expect for 100% to RSVP yes.

How are people going to go to a lunch wedding on a Tuesday?

Anyway, no, you need to find a new venue with that many guests, or cut your list.

Our contract is already done and my fiancee unfortunately is responsible for having already asking for the additional 9 invitees for their addresses. Despite being a year away we have already made our save the dates; which we are planning on sending out within the next month or so.

@Katie, you're very fortunate that things went well for you but you can't just bank on "it will all work out." Inviting any number of guests over your limit is VERY risky.

Use the address to mail them something else. Don't over-invite!!

"Mine is october of this year. We invited almost 400 and the fire code was 300. I was worried about it. Only about 250 are coming. Dont fret about it! Everything will work out!"

@Katie this is HORRIBLE advice and you're extremely lucky it worked out for you. Search the archives for brides in tears days before their wedding because their venue wouldn't allow for all the people who RSVP'd and they'd now have to tell some they can't come. You really should lurk more before passing out such bad advice.

@A.L. Not too sure how to answer that....so far A LOT of people are onboard with it. There is a thing known as paid time off here in California and it's not AT ALL uncommon for SF weddings to occur during weekdays. We are one of the most expensive cities after all.

"Our contract is already done and my fiancee unfortunately is responsible for having already asking for the additional 9 invitees for their addresses. Despite being a year away we have already made our save the dates; which we are planning on sending out within the next month or so."

Then why are you asking?

Thanks @SoonToBeStarkey! That's a really good idea.

@Elizabeth ............read above. People keep saying change my venue.

1. If all 60 guests show up, you said they put another table. It will be tight but you can accommodate them all in that case

2. Not that you should count on it but not all 60 might show up because it is Tuesday lunch wedding

3. You don't have to sent STD just because he ask for an address. You can sent them Christmas card or something.

4. STD are not really needed if all of your guests are local. You can just limit to VIP guests like family.

5. Do not invite guests for ceremony only. If they are taking time off from work, deal with either insane parking or muni to get to the city hall, you should treat them at least lunch.

6. Congrats

But you can't change your venue and your FH is already getting addresses for STDs to go out next month. So what exactly are you looking for in terms of advice? You need to cut your guest list.

Also, paid time off is a thing everywhere. Doesn't mean people like using it for a wedding when they could be using it for their own needs/wants. People are always excited about a wedding a year ahead of time. You can't really tell who will still be excited next year until you send out invites next August.

@katie k that is terrible advice. Super reckless to so grossly over invite. Please OP only invite 50 people if that is what your venue allows. Also SF city hall is gorgeous! Can't wait to see your BAM.